The other side

[lovemykids465]

Is there anyone else out there who would like to hear from someone who is on the other side of this issue? The one who cheated. Not Currently cheating but one who has cheated it is over and what the effect was on them, their feelings and how they deal with it. Do they feel guilty, sad etc and if so what are they doing about it?

[mami1323]

I agree, I don't think it would be easy for victims of affairs to be so forgiving to those who are still wrapped up in it.  However, I do respect those who have done it, own up to it and have remorse for it.

[lovemykids465]

Good point. I think if the person is no longer involved in the affair it is easier to be understanding.

[sammy73]

That would be interesting.  These are voices we rarely, if ever, hear on these forums, but there must be a lot of them out there, and you'd think that at least some of them must be emotionally messed up enough to find this place ;-)

We should promise that we won't be judgemental or mean towards them, if they volunteer their side of the story.  I've seen several cases where those who have cheated have posted, and the vitriol that has been thrown their way has been pretty nasty.  If anyone is going to post here, they should feel safe to do so; if we disapprove of their behaviour, then biting our tongues is the price we pay for getting to hear what they have to say.

I'm not saying that no-one should ask relevant or probing questions!  Just don't get mean...

[mami1323]

I think that would be helpful.