Finding a donor

My wife is in ESRD and we are not sure quite how to find a donor.

We understand about being on the kidney transplant waiting list;  this a long wait; as long as 7 years.

My wife is somewhat scared and she does not want to start dialysis, though we know it is inevitable.

But, at the University of Michigan they have this paired donor program where they find someone who matches the patient's blood types.  It is a process where kidneys are swapped between a couple of donor-renal patient pairs.

It is supposed to workout much sooner.  The issue is finding someone willing to donate one of their organs.

I have been denied by the transplant staff to be a donor because I have MS.

How does one go about asking people if they would be willing to part with a kidney.  We do not have family members who are a donor option.  So, we are left with the option of asking friends.  But, just how is such a question broached.  It seems all we can do is mention that my wife needs a kidney and hope someone gets in their head that they might offer.  It seems almost ludicrous to ask someone for their kidney.

Is there some normal manner that looking for a living kidney donor is done?  We are flummoxed about this whole issue.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.  I hope I did not sound calluses.

[el_em_en_oh]

This doesn't answer your question, specifically, but I thought I'd throw it out there...

Have you considered looking outside the country for a donor program? I've had friends of friends go to India, and they're had great success. The doctors there are all trained here in the U.S., and the hospital and staff are second to none.

I'm not from there, so I have no vested interest in what happens there, but I thought I'd mention it.

I have a buddy that's looking for a liver transplant, and is seeking an Indian donor and doctor. The transplant list for liver patients is much the same as renal patients, and is 5-7 years long. In India, you can get it almost immediately (relatively speaking).

Just a thought...

[MCBCON]

A thought, but one do not think my wife will entertain favorably

[Marina_busybee]

I  would  not  go  out  of  the  country  for  an organ.    Not  only  because  you  don't  know what  kind of   risks  you'll encounter  there,  but  also  alot of  Transplant hospitals  in the  USA  won't  wan't to  "touch"  a  patient  with  a  allograft  (transplanted organ)  from  another  country.             Oh then  there's  the  insurance  issue,  if you  get  a transplant  outside the US  most  insurances  won't  want  to  pay  for  any  post-TX  treatments  here. Medicare  is  not  gonna  help  out  at  all if the  transplant  was  not  paid  for  by them.
Oh yeah  let's  not  forget the  financial  aspect  of  it  all.  You  will pay  for  EVERYTHING   (medical  costs,   transportation,   traveling expenses,  and    you  will  have  to  BUY  the  kidney.

There  is  a  site  called   http://www.matchingdonors.com/life/index.cfm              
I did  not use  it,  but  I  know  a lady  from a support  group  who  did  and  is  very  happy  with the  results.
There  is  a membership  fee   (a  couple  yrs  ago  it  was  $575.00)  not sure  what  it  is  now.                
you  can  also  look  at   a  site  called  livingdonorsonline   http://livingdonorsonline.org/ldosmf/   maybe  they  can  give you  ideas  as  to how  to  ask  friends and/or  family  for   a  kidney.

Take care!

[el_em_en_oh]

Sorry... if I have to chose between waiting 5-7 YEARS for a kidney (when my time comes), or going to India and getting one within a few weeks to a month... India, here I come.

My 2 cents.

[Marina_busybee]

I  completely see your point,  however  you  gotta  think of the  risks  involved,  as well  as the  costs,

Besides on  dialysis  you  can  remain  relatively  well, provided you  follow your  meds,  diet    and dialysis  regimen.

I  did  Peritoneal  dialysis  (CAPD)  for  6½ yrs  with  great  success.   My numbers  were  always  right  were  they  needed  to  be  (except  for  albumin,  the  nutrition status,  I  could've  eaten  a  little  more  protein  to  fix that,  I  was  well aware of that).

Take  care!

Marina

[slgva]

I am so sorry for what you and your wife are going through.  I hope she gets a kidney before she goes on dialysis.  Below are some tips:
1.  She can be listed at multiple transplant facilities; however, they must be in different regions.  I would sign up with as many you can to in the required time.  Depending on where she is currently listed (is she listed?) some of the other centers may approve her based on that.  Your transplant center should help you with this.
2.  I hope you are aware that someone who does not match your wife can donate to the list.  Your wife is then moved to the top of the list and will get the next kidney that matches.
3.  If you don't want to ask for a kidney, at least  get the word out to everyone you and your wife know.  Be sure to include  the info in #2.  This is not the time to be shy...just anyone who will listen...and keep telling them!
I hope this info helps you.  I went on dialysis (peritoneal) in 2005 and  was transplanted on 8 October 2008.  We are having a third birthday party for him this year.  The highlight will be a contest to name him since I think he is here to stay.
One last thing, don't stress out over when a donor will appear...it will happen when it is supposed to happen.
God speed and God bless.
Sandra