Like many parents, you are dealing with an extremely difficult and frustrating situation. Potty training has become quite complex in this day and age and made more challenging if a child has certain delays. Given that your daugher has speech delays (Is she in speech therapy) and sensory issues (she would benefit from Occupational Therapy), the potty training is made even more difficult. It sounds like you have tried many positive things--here's a few more:
Create a hug basket of "rewards" that sits in a basket near the designated potty. Tell your daughter that if she can sit on the potty for five minutes (and not even have to go), she can pick a prize.
I also think that she is afraid of sitting on the potty, consistent with sensory issues. Many children feel more comfotable going in a pull up or while standing up or lying down. You can try placing her on the potty with a pull up on, and have her go--and if she does, she then again receives a prize. Then, I know this next stage might seem extreme, but you should then try cutting a hole in the pull up and have her sit on the potty and see if she will go and if the pee will pass. At some point she will become desensitized to the "panic" feeling the toilet is triggering.
This has worked with some families I know, but each child is different. I wish you the best of luck. Dr. Varia
Thank you!! Your suggestions are helpful. I will try them. She is in speech therapy and is receiving OT at her school. I have her in additional speech therapy with a private therapist and I am seeking an OT that will take my insurance. However, until now you are the only one that has been able to provide a different suggestions.
Thanks. I will post again and let you know how it work.
i had a hard time with my son he still wont used pottys out side the home . frist try no underware sometimes pulling them up and down can be hard . go on you tube type in potty have her watch some of the funny videos see if this works