My sister-in-law (age 33, lupus since childhood) died 2 years ago. My brother insists she died from lupus. They were both extermely heavy drinkers (drinking daily until they were visibly drunk) and she often used drugs as well. She had an earlier episode of hospitalization and lived with her parents for months after recovery, coming back seemingly in good health. They went back to their lifestyle and she became just as sick again over time, was hospitalized, suffered organ failure on all fronts, became comatose and died. The only specific symptom I've heard about was bleeding profusely from small injuries.
The whole sdtory sounds to me like cirrhosis, pancreatitis and all the other consequences that follow liver failure from alcohol use.
Systemic Lupus can cause many different problems, as well as organ failure. The affected organ depends on the part that her lupus "chose" to destroy. Some people can live a very long time with Lupus, some don't make it 10 years. It all depends on how the lupus affects your organs. The profuse bleeding can be from her lupus medications.
No matter what she died from, she died. She's gone. Your brother has to live without her. If he says it's from Lupus, there's nothing you can do to get any different information. If your brother has information telling HIM that she died from cirrhosis and pancreatitis, and it's not caused by Lupus, but is definitely caused by Alcoholism, HE needs to learn to deal with that and the fact that he's headed in the same direction. No matter how much you tell him to straighten up and walk the straight and narrow, he will only do it in his own time. I have a brother that is an alcoholic and drug abuser....there is no helping them. They have to have an "epiphany" in their own time to stop the abuse. You have to just love him for his good points (we all have them) and make sure he realizes he is lovable, when he isn't drinking (5 a.m.???). I understand your confusion, but it truly won't matter to anyone but your brother what she died from. He has to open his eyes and mind in his own time. No matter what you say to him, he won't register it until he's ready.
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