It has to be asked....

I have a new man in my life (whom I knew before) and I have finally found and and seen an LLMD. Havent asked him yet but I need to know what the majority finds regarding their having Lyme and their sex drives. It would really be important for me in my new life.

[nutrinut_bob]

This is just me, the fellow that if he has it, has been carrying it over 40yrs.  I am sorry for anyone that in that time I may have infected, even the ones that weren't such good people.  I will be a hermit now that I know there is something in me.  I can't handle the guilt of those I may have infected, how could I handle any additions to that.  I have fathered children who are grown, and ultimately, that is the purpose of sex.  I even wonder about those children, are they more my DNA or that of these invasive organisms?  They are in their 30s now, and I see things in my oldest, and her children, symptoms that could be related to what I have. No, no more encounters for me, no more guilt.

[JackieCalifornia]

I imagine everyone is different in this regard, and each person is different over time, just like the other rhythms of life.  Try not to stress over it, because it just is what it is, and as you get well, your energy will return for all things.  Without making it the centerpiece of your relationship, you might consider explaining to your sweetie that sometimes you feel tired, or wiped out, or however you would describe it, and it's not a reflection on him, and that what cycles down will also cycle.  It's so easy to become fully absorbed in Lyme, and remembering that you have someone else to care about and for may help keep you focussed.  Take care, and best wishes to you and to your sweetie, and godspeed to your doc!

[JackieCalifornia]

Bob, don't beat yourself up.  If you had known you had a bug, you would have taken steps not to 'share' it.  Mother Nature always has the trump card, and all we can do is play our hand the best we can as we go along.

More important than your guilt is to care for your children, of whatever age.  They should not be left to perceive that any distance they may feel from you is because of some lack in them.  That is what people often assume, and children more so when they feel a distance from a parent.  'What is wrong with me that my mom/dad/sibling is not happy with me?'

It's never too late to reach out and say to them that you care, that if it has seemed that you might not care or are pre-occupied, it's because you feel bad that you might have unknowingly passed along your illness to them, and that you care very much about them.  If you can't say it, then write it down.  Nothing fancy, just the plain statement.

Your kids may or may not seem to accept that, but it will sink in and they will think about it later even if they don't acknowledge it now.  I say this from personal experience, of wishing someone had said those words to me before it was too late, and getting ready myself now to say those words to someone else.

If nothing else, think of it as an end run around the bugz.  (Take THAT, bugz!)

[AllergyNerd]

My sex drive has done a complete dive since all of this.  It's the fatigue and no desire to do anything active that is the worst for being sexually active.  I feel really bad for my fiance, but he is so helpful and understanding.  It's different for me though because we have been together for years and are engaged.  All you can do is be honest and if he isn't understanding, he's not worth it imo.

[mojogal]

So are you saying the Lyme can be caught by another person you are with? I never knew that and that brings everything into a different light.

[mojogal]

We are getting engaged too, dated him for 2 years and he is so understanding and its funny because I have a sex drive, I just can't get any where if your know what I mean. I wondered if that was normal and people told me that I am lucky to have the drive at all. My doc said to relax and it will happen. No choice but to wait and see. Thanks for your response!

[mojogal]

It took me almost a year of getting misdiagnosed  and ready to give up, when I heard about this doctor from another support group and like you said God speed and God bless this doctor. He is my angel and I am grateful to finally have found him, the bad thing is I will be moving out of state with my new, soon to be fiancee, so I wont have him forever, hoping he knows a good LLMD in Sarasota, FL.

[JackieCalifornia]

I just did a little snooping around on the internet, and there seems to be (as with most things Lyme) some controversy about whether it can be sexually transmitted.  Those who say it cannot don't give reasoning as to why similar bacteria are sexually transmitted but Lyme is not.

I've come to think that many of us have low-grade Lyme infections, just as many of us have low-grade other things too, so it's probably among us in ways we don't realize.  Try not to stress, tho.  Life goes on, even with Lyme.