Maternal & Child: 35+ Community
35++ wishing for #2/hesitating?
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35++ wishing for #2/hesitating?

well,it's all in my title,anybody feeling this way?My dd is my first child and now at 10,5months is soooo cute!Ok,I know she would enjoy having a sibling but at 42 I'm hesitating..
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760797_tn?1303268140
I know the feeling! I am 38 and went through a m/c last week, I was 16w5d. We really wanted another child but I am so afraid.
So many women have children after 40. If you see your dr and make sure everything is ok then why not? I say go for it. You've had a healthy baby girl recently so I don't see why you shouldn't. At any age, it is a BIG decision but if you want another, I think your daughter would love to be a big sister. Several of my aunts had children in their early 40's and their children were healthy.
Good Luck on your decision.
Natalie
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177382_tn?1253044740
hi :)  I was just like you and it took me 13 years to try for a sibbling.  but things happen when they happen for a reason I think.  i'll be 39 this year and my lil jetty is now 10 months. So I know how you feel it, is a true joy to have him.  Do I wish I had had him sooner? kinda but all in all, he came at a perfect time for me ~d
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Avatar_f_tn
I had dd at age 38y.  I am 39y now and we will be trying for another baby this spring and summer.  I am a little scared too but I have faith that everything happens for a reason.  And that whatever does happens, everything will be OK in the end.  My desire for dd to have a sibling is greater than my fear so we will still try.  I would love for her to have at least one sibling but if we cannot conceive I feel truly blessed with just her too!  She is my love!
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202380_tn?1267910566
Thanx for your posts guys,mlb1234 those words you used are so deep...''my desire much greater than my bear''...and I guess you are right,that's what we always have to ask ourselves when facing a challenge..
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189192_tn?1261345228
I feel the same as mlb1234..  I was/am scared of having two small children, but it is very important to me that my son has a sibling.  

I had my son a month before my 37th birthday.  He is 13 months old today :), and I am 10wks pg with his sibling.  I will be 38 when he/she is born.  My husband will be 41.  

Sometimes you just shouldn't over think things... just go for it :)  
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254689_tn?1251183640
Dh and I are thinking about it - giving Noah a sibling close to his age.  He's a little more gun-ho than I am - I wonder if the next pregnancy will be as good as this one was.  And my age is always a factor unfortunately.  I told him that I would have another baby when he could be at home w/them - LOL.  While I'd like to wait another 1 1/2 years before making this decision, I might not have much choice.  I hate these decisions.
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It is hard work but worth it
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794496_tn?1351044155
Hello I would also like to add to this thread.  I also had my first child when I was 38 (she is now almost 6) and when we decided to try for another child just before my daughters second birthday we had trouble concieving, that was four years ago.  At this point I am in a 2WW we did an IVF cycle with donor eggs because of two previous failed IVF's.  So my advice is to go for it.  And I agree with mlb1234 my daughter is my little miracle.....since the fertility issues I look at her with new eyes and really appreciate the wonders of having a child.  And yes guinness413 it is hard work but you are absolutely right worth every moment.  Blessings.
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254689_tn?1251183640
Leatha - your post makes me want to try again - but gosh, when's the right time?  I really want some space between baby no. one and baby no. 2 but then there's the age thing - aauugghh.  Part of me is so happy w/No that I feel complete w/just him, daddy and mommy (he has much older siblings who are more like aunts/uncles) but then I'm not sure about the only child thing.
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794496_tn?1351044155
I totally hear you on the age thing and the only child thing.......and is there ever a right time for anything?  We never planned on having just one child, we wanted four kids and never though fertility would be an issue....but who does right. I think that you have to go to that quiet place and really ask yourself if you want to add to your family and if you really do then the next question is when. I have been preparing myself in many ways to be content to have just one.....I mean really some ladies don't have any and here I am with one beautiful child and still wanting more!!!!!  There is no "right" answer here but you really do have to follow your heart.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I was just going to post something like this.

We had our little one the end of Dec 08 and immediately I wanted another. I loved being pregnant, loved the birth (despite 40 min of being scared for him; apgar score 1), and he's a complete joy and I love him more and more every second. I was an only child and HATED IT. While I feel that our first needs solo attention ,I can't wait for baby #2. However, to have baby #1 we went through infertility treatments (Clomid, IUI, trigger). And I will say from the infertility treatments (just scared they woudln't work) through the pregnancy (worry about loss/something happening), I hesitate. Plus DH and I have some issues to work through and sometimes I wonder if we'll even be together. But honestly, I want another baby so much for my son to be with. Not sure what the future will bring. I just want to do it for what's right to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
My son is eleven months and am 37 years now i have found out am 3wks pregnant am excited same time scared. Some kids get affected when a mother gets pregnant how do i care for that child in order for him to be health and active.I want my son to grow healthy as it would have as its supposed to be.
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1806883_tn?1389046890
go for it while you still have some time on your hands, if you have one you may as well have 2, its actually easier with 2 as they tend to keep each other company and are not so reliant on you to keep them ocupied
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