Anyone putting their infant into daycare, etc at 12 weeks?
I'm starting to investigate infant care options. I have to go back to work at 12 weeks (might be sooner as in 10 or 11 weeks) and it's killing me researching infant care options.
1. nannies scare me as far as 1 person alone in my house with my kid. Plus I dont' know if we can afford it
2. relatives are out. No one can/will do it
3. only option seems to be a Kindercare type of facility and I just don't like the idea of 10 babies with a 4:1 ratio.
I was wondering how others managed and coped. I never minded if the kid was over 1 years old but a 12 week infant with any of these people is just upsetting.
I know there are pros and cons with a facility and private care but I just don't know what to do. Everyone I know is having a relative (can you say free care?) or gets to stay home. I only get 1 day at home for work and that's it. So we have no options (I'm the primary provider; husband has flex hours with own business but nothing is steady).
Any sharing for a worried mommy to be (Jan 1) would be appreciated.
Thanks for replying. So it was a Kindercare-like daycare facility or more of a woman who has it out of her house? I just feel like a facility has more watchful eyes for safety yet at the same time my issue is about love and attention (as well as making sure my kid isn't in a diaper too long).
just because a relative may baby sit does not necessarly mean its free. I work 12 hour shifts on the weekends so I do not need day care. thank god as I have twins, however a friend of mine has her mother in law baby sit and yes she pays her 100 dollars a week, there are pros and cons to every situation a private nanny is expensive and there is no one watching over to make sure things do not go wrong ie. abuse etc.. a day care that is monitered by the state is wonderful, however, kids tend to get sicker when surrounded by all the other children, staying home is wonderful however, some of us cannot afford that luxery. so there you have it. I would interview private people, one thing I would not recc. is day care out of someones home, sometimes they are not state certified, and take 8, 9 , or more kids, and nothing gets done until something happens, good luck to you in whatever you choose.
Sorry guys but if you have a baby at least allow time to look after him or her and Bond , remember : bonding : the experts tell us we bond in the first few years. You would put your child into full time day care after 12 weeks......do you honestly believe that day carer is as good as them having their own mother, cut back on what you need the wages for, ask Dad to get another job,.in about 2-3 years you can go to work as many hours as you want to , nothing will give your child that time with you back, and hey what happened to breast feeding?
Every family needs to do what is right for them. In this economy, sometimes not working is just not an option.
With that being said, my children are in a family owned public daycare center. We are happy with the caregivers and were very particular when choosing a center. My babies continued to be exclusively breastfed for 15 months each. I would even go in on my lunchbreak every day to feed them when they were babies. The caregivers are wonderful with my children and there is so much learning and safe activities . . . more than what I would have ever thought of to do with them. My children are doing very well and the oldest transitioned great into elementary school. Smoother than some of the stay at home classmates. I have a stay at home friend who often wonders if she made the right choice because her child is not adjusting well to the social demands of school.
There are pros and cons for each choice, however again, each family needs to do what is right for them. And then make the most of every day together.
When choosing a daycare, trust your instincts. We visited quite a few before we found one that gave us that comfortable and confident feeling. Then, stay involved and keep your ears open. I appreciated going in during my lunchbreak because I could see and hear alot of the behind the scenes information. Best wishes.
I agree with the poster above...trust your instincts. My kids are 8 and 18 years now...both were in daycare. My daughter from 18 months, but my son from six months. With my son, I really lucked out...I was introduced to a woman who had just gotten her license and was doing daycare in her home. She had no other infants, and only two young kids. She didn't mind when I interviewed her *extensively*, and asked some very intrusive questions. I had a GREAT feeling about her, and my instincts were right. She babysat my son until he was three, when he started preschool. She became a very close part of our extended family, and my son adored her. As for my daughter...she was older, but she still had positive experiences in day care. My advice is, again, to trust your instincts. Once the baby is in care, drop in unannounced as frequently as possible. Pay close attention to the other children in day care...are they happy? Just keep your eyes and ears open, and trust yourself. Also...DON'T FEEL GUILTY. Your baby will pick up on it. I speak from experience. :-) Whatever you do, good luck!
My DD started daycare (Tutor Time) when she was 13 weeks. I struggled so much with the decision but also did not feel comfortable with nanny alone with child and did not have family volunteering to help full time. The teacher to child ratio also concerned me - 4:1 but her room had 8 kids/cribs.
Almost a year later, I am so happy with my decision. Her 'teachers' at day care genuinely care about her (she actually received birthday gift from one which I'm pretty sure isn't common) and literally gave her a standing ovation on Monday when we showed off her new walking skills that she learned this weekend. I don't know how they manage to 'herd cats' like they do but somehow they really do take good care of the 8 kids in the room with two teachers.
She loves going because of all the stimulation she gets and they've helped me a lot too as a first time mom, offering suggestions when I ask for advice on how to get her to sleep through the night or eat solid foods or get off bottle. They actually also were the first to notice that she was a bit delayed in her gross motor skills and encouraged me to utilize early intervention physical therapy services before my pediatrician did.
Once you accept that NO ONE will give your child the same quality care as you would(not even family), you'll find the right day care situation for you and your baby. Talk to mothers who are using that KinderCare facility currently and get their opinions b/c you'll see if they feel good about sending their kid there and would recommend. And believe me, you will bond with your child regardless of what you decide. Good luck!
Thanks for all of this (sorry so late). As for cutting back and bonding. The person who would have to stay home is my DH but it's just not possible. He's staying home 1 day. I get 1 day and then his sister takes 2 days leaving us with a 1 day mystery to solve.
We understand that no one can give a child what it needs but the parents however we are not in a financial position to do so. It's not about us living in a fancy house, fancy cars, etc. It's about a husband who started his own business and the economy near killed it and he's getting it back on track. It's about me making double to sometimes triple his salary and having bills up the yin yang just to get by. 2 incomes were certainly not by choice. Sometimes life throws a huge curve and you're still paying to catch up and get by.
Hopefully this sister thing will work out so the child can get 1 on 1 care. But if she drops us then we're stuck with a facility down the road. I'm all for facilities for older children, I think it helps socially and discipline-wise (plus shyness). But all I want is someone close to us to watch the child for 6mo to a year. If I'm paying them $100 for 2 days, that's not a bad deal seeing we highly doubt they'll claim taxes on it.
I put my first in Daycare at 12 weeks. He was in a "home" daycare but it was licensed. She only took 2 infants at a time. It was fine for awhile, but I too was concerned about the ratio issue, especially when he started crawling. We found with him, that a structured environment was better, so we found a "school" based Daycare and he has done extremely well in that environment.
We recently moved, and transferred our now 4.5 year old to the new Daycare, which is also "school" based and licensed. Our new baby started there at 10 weeks old. This place is honestly GREAT, and there are 2 to 3 people in the baby room at any given time (each room has 5 babies total). Both our boys love the people there, and my oldest actually ASKS to go to "school" on the weekends. They conduct it just like Kindergarden so I think the transition to real school is going to be easy for him. The downside is the cost... those school type Daycares can be quite expensive. We pay $1300 a month for both kids.
I would suggest checking out your state's government site, and there should be a link to Daycares that are licensed. It will list all of the recent inspection information, violations, and complaints. That's how I found the one we're at now. I wouldn't use any Daycare that wasn't licensed, and had NO violations during inspections, and had NO complaints! :)
I can say as a daycare provider for 9 years, I've had no complaints, no violations and I was liscensed and I would not of left your child with me. some days you need more than one person. Period.. Daycare providers have bad days too.. My daycare children loved me... The babies started calling me mom( I constantly corrected them) I too loved them but even with that it is better to have two eyes and ears around.. Private providers are limited to the time they take off. they work sick and tired. I gave birth to my sone and 5 days later I had daycare children.. I lost my son in october on Tuesday and had children on Friday.. I start a new careed with my Rn on the 13th of this month yeah. Daycare providers even with the best intention do get burnt out...
With a second child at home I have gone to the expense of bringing in a nanny. Split between the two children it is not much more than having them both in Kindercare. Kindercare fees for infants are astronomical. With that said, if/when I place my second baby in out of home care I will definitely place him in a facility for a variety of reasons--one being there are more staff to monitor safety than in a private home, second I want to know my baby isn't being taken of premise/transported during the day which sometimes happens in-home care situations and also you have to consider the mixed age situation in the home of a in-home provider. Your babies safety depends on the other children not picking him/her up, leaving toys/food that are chocking hazards around and touching your baby without proper hand washing, etc.
PS-- Sorry you have to go back to work so soon, I did also and it does break your heart. Do your research and place your child in the best facility that you can, one that offers the most stimulation and level of care.
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