Maternal & Child: 35+ Community
My baby doesn't love me??
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to maternity after the age of 35, newborns, and children.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

My baby doesn't love me??

May sound stupid, please don't laugh. My baby is 13 month old, she is my second daughter - first one is 19 y.o. Different fathers and countries. I'm 39 and fell in love hill over head with my little one. I was breastfeeding her for 11 month, and stayed home with her for 6 month. After that i've started working 2-3 days per week, and her father was staying with her during that time. We also have my Mom living with us, she works full time and is only home after 7 or 8 pm.
I am scared to discover this feeling in me - i see how my little dear daughter jumps to my Mom when she comes home, and she doesn't want to come to me. She does same thing with her father - if one of them is at home, she always prefers to be with them over me. I am so disappointed! Plus - she would fall asleep in my husbands arms easy, quickly, no questions, when with me she started playing after she finishes her bottle, and ruins her first nap(for the past few weeks). When Father is with her she sleeps her regular two naps. Is that possible that baby prefers her father, despite the fact that i was breastfeeding her?
Related Discussions
9 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
296340_tn?1336167601
Breastfeeding the baby doesn't you are going to be bond with the baby... Breastfeeding only give your baby more protection when she was an infant...

To be bond with baby.. you have to look back how you treat the baby.. Did you yell at her? are you patience with her?  did you frustrated and got mad at her? etc... there are so many reasons why your baby isn't close to you....

Baby can sense... and if she is afraid of you.. she won't come to you... Maybe the baby feel more secure and safe around grandma and father... I don't mean you are bad mom or anything.. I just think of the possiblity why baby refers to grandma and father more than you..

Mostly baby always close to the mom than any other people... You might want to look back and see why she acts the way she acted...

Good luck and I hope my honest opinion won't defense you... if it does... i do apolozy....

Take care
Blank
1174679_tn?1264078304

At this age, your baby loves her mama...She may be picking up on your feelings of not being able to be with her, the she senses that you are upset, not at her, but maybe at the situation, I understand how/why you would feel this way, I too felt this way, but maybe trying to just relaxing and enjoying the time with her, she will pick up on that feeling instead of the frustation you may feel.  Just relax and enjoy the time you do spend with her...
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Take her staying up and not napping as a good sign. In all of my birthing classes they said that working moms would deal with this. The baby will sleep around the major care giver and then play around you because you aren't there all the time and she just wants time with you.

I felt the same way when I went back to work, I thought that my son was starting to forget me during the day and that he favored my husband. But my husband and I now make it a big deal when I walk in the door. We holler "Mommy's home!" and we start clapping. Now my son is so excited to see me walk in the door.

Talk to your mom and husband, ask them to help you make it seem really exciting when you come home from work. It will help you as it helped me.

Babies go through so many changes, this too shall pass. Hugs.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I feel the same way alot. My daughter gets excited and reaches for me when I get home from work, but after about 5 minutes she's ready to go back to daddy. I can't even get her to say mama. I try and tell her to say mama and she comes right back with "daddy" I know she loves me, but it still hurts my feelings.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Don't you think that we have been cheated? We had babies, we pay the price of having them but others take benefits? I never stop thinking this way ...fathers' day? Excuse me?! Not in my household. I do the work he gets benefits.... had a baby went to work, baby gets used to not being around me and bond is broken...do not full yourself...now your "whoever" is most important in the world...and if the baby is in daycare so it is the institution rising your kid not you...Girls we have been dooped!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I have the same situation. I am a mother with a 21m old boy and a 9m old girl. I stay at home as a full time mom and still breasfeeding my baby gilr. My son has been spent his whole days with the nanny. When her sister wakes up, i put them together to play, and i am the main for sure. I cook for him, give him the snacks he likes, and also sit together watching movie and do the story telling for him. However, he choses his nanny instead of me. Thats really hurt me. He also likes his daddy a lot. He always runs into his daddy, and get sleep with him. The names of his first calls were "daddy" and "sus" ( name of the nanny). He always refuses to call me "mommy". I cried for days. I think this is just not fair. He spents more time with the nanny and less with his daddy. I still have to breatsfeed his sister and send her to sleep. I am in the middle. But, anything we do to make him call me, just useless. He also listens more to his nanny and daddy. I feel so sad. Seems i am nothing to him.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I would have to disagree with you. Breastfeeding your baby means that you DO bond more. I don't think the mother did anything wrong.

Babies are sensitive and if mommy is nervous or upset they pick up on that. I don't think it's fair for you to say its her fault.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi,

I am a mother of a 6 month old girl and had started working when my daughter was 4 months old. I stay with my in-laws and my sis in law who is unmarried and 10 years older than I also stays with us. She tends to copy everything I do... the way I cuddle with my daughter, the way I hold her, hug her, kiss her play with her dance for her....... practically everything.

My daughter now is so playful with my sis in law and tends to ignore me... she responds, laughs smiles at her aunt. Rather off late when I take her to my room she even looks for her aunt.... The sparkle in her eyes that I had always seen for myself is now seen for her aunt... I hate that..... I would not mind saying it makes me jealous. I always wanted a baby girl.... my first baby my daughter is close to someone else....

I want to change this and this is leading me into acute depression. Please help me !!!!
Blank
4268628_tn?1375044776
This is my biggest fear about going back to work. My baby girl is 2 months old and I have been doing freelance work to make sure to stay at home with her, plus i am breastfeeding. It's bad enough that I feel inadequate due to not being able to bond with her when she was first born (hard long labor and ended up with a c section where I had a reaction to the meds and couldn't talk or open my eyes for 3 hours...daddy had her in his arms the whole time). I see the bond my husband has with her and makes me feel like a horrible mother. I love her dearly and would do anything for her. But it seems like she already just looks at me as the food, nothing else.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Maternal & Child: 35+ Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank