Maternal & Child: 35+ Community
single TTC, 45yr ready for DE
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single TTC, 45yr ready for DE

I finally decided to allow myself the mourning over not conceiving a child with my own genes. I tried 4 iuis 1 ivf (and a partridge in a pear tree...phew it certainly has been a long road).
I purchased 6 vials of sperm specimen from CCB and now i have one vial left. Should i give up the "one last try" and go ahead with the DE?
How do we know when to give up?
It's such a loss and yet,
my chances are just a few points over 0% to have take-home baby.

I read a lot of posts here and am so grateful to the brave women who went with DE. It has encouraged and gladdened me immensely. Why am i still agonizing that "just one more try" thing?
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903027_tn?1242257314
Hi Arjay,
sorry I am not familiar with the DE abreviation but still wanted to respond. I would give it one more try to be able to say "I've done all I could" because you might always wonder if that one might have just been it. Also, to increase your chance would you consider a donor egg?
Hope your wishes come true.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi Arjay -- I had 3 natural pregnancies at ages 45 - 46 and miscarried all of them due to poor egg quality.  So getting pregnant is just one small part of the battle--at 45, you will have something like an 80-90% miscarriage risk even if you do get pregnant (probably you already know this).  My RE said I would probably keep getting pregnant, but after 3 tries, I decided I just couldn't keep going through the process.  (I was also growing uterine fibroids from the pregnancy hormones, so I had to have surgery just to be a good candidate for donor ivf.)  I am now 9 + weeks pregnant with twins from donor eggs and really couldn't be happier.  Every blood test, every ultrasound comes back with great results, and after so many painful experiences at the RE's office, it is such a relief to have good news!  I feel very pregnant and don't even think about how the babies aren't genetically related to me.  I also have 4 good friends who have had children using donor eggs, and they all feel deeply bonded with their children.  Of course, no one can tell you when to give up on your own eggs, but if it looks like donor eggs are your only realistic option to become a mother, I would encourage you to work through the painful feelings as quickly as possible so you can get on with having a successful pregnancy!  My husband and I wish we had come to the point of using donor eggs earlier, but we are just grateful to be here now.
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1008869_tn?1283964857
keep trying and keep positive!
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