I desperately need help! My daughter is 14 months old
and wakes several times in the nite. With a result of
getting up at least 2 times. She is a perfectly happy
girl normally, but cannot get her to sleep in the night.
She goes to bed around 9 and has milk and cereal before
bed. If I skip the cereal she wakes up at least once more.
She doesn't like her dad to comfort her too much- she goes
back to sleep faster when I go in. Is there any other way
to fix this without having to make her "cry it out"?
I hope the book helps you guys. I went through the same thing with my little girl. I was such a zombie from lack of sleep, I finally just started putting her in my bed so I could get some sleep. She still ends up there most nights. She gets out of her bed and comes and crawls in with me. I really wish I would have tried harder when she was little. At the time, I was so tired I didn't care. It's way harder now that she is 3. Maybe I need to go to the library and check out the book too.
it may create a problem for some people but I have rocked all 3 of my children asleep and my 4 month old sleeps all night and if he does get up for some reason he does not require being rocked again to go to sleep.
I'm afraid I'm of the "cry it out" generation. I know--this is horrible and probably damaged my kids mental health permanently.
But we always made sure they were fed, dry and comfy, had snuggles and stories, put 'em down and then shut the door for the night. Period. There were some tears, but nothing major as I recall.
I'm sure you will get much better advice from the other, newer models of moms here. But whatever you do, remember (as Dr. PHil says)--the problem will get worse before it gets better. Kids (even toddlers) know to ratchet it up a bit to get the desired response from mom or dad. If you give in, they are reinforced and it will take even longer. As you've been going in to try to get her to sleep during the night, she already knows that if she cries long and hard enough, you'll eventually come in.
Has she always been one that wakes up through the night?
My son is also 14 months old and he wakes up upwards of 4 times a night also. He is not waking up hungry and he is not waking up for mommy-time. But he has a really hard time getting back to sleep on his own. As soon as I go in there and give him his passy he is right back with head on pillow and eyes closed. I can usually just walk back out of the room. Sometimes though, I do have to lay down with him for a few minutes.
This is something that "I" started knowing that I would have problems later on.....Well, now I am only 10 weeks away from having #3 and have no idea how I am going to deal since I do have to lay down with him at bedtime and at times through the night.
Is your daughter in a crib still or did you already convert?
If she is still in a crib and doesn't climb out then you have a much better chance at the cry it out method than I would. My son is in a twin car bed which he can easily climb out of. There is a gate across his door but I figure he will be able to climb that here shortly also. I think I have had 2 nights in 14 months that he has actually slept THROUGH the night......that's it!!!
I guess it is clear by now that I don't have any advice for you.......just wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat. Best of luck to you!!!
i'm with christie on this one... and I'm a "newer" style mom.... LOL.... the only thing I can suggest is maybe giving her a larger meal at dinner with more protein so she stays full longer and maybe cutting out an afternoon nap so she is more tired at bedtime... if those things don't work chances are she is getting up to have "mommy time" and if you don't nip it in the bud now you will have a huge problem later on. (when she is big enough she doesn't stay where you put her). If you decide to let her cry it out- which you may have to do- remember that if you do it correctly it won't be that bad for either of you after the first night or so...
Who spends all the time with her during the day? Maybe she doesn't get enough attention from daddy during the day therefore she wants you because you are who is there all day. If he can spend more time with her while she is awake maybe she would take to him better at the night time wake ups.
Just a thought.
My son does okay when daddy goes in with him at night. He would rather have me there that is clear but he will usually go back to sleep for daddy too. However, at 'bedtime' daddy has a really hard time getting him to go down because he just wants to 'play with daddy'.....and he climbs to the end and off of his bed just to make daddy go and get him back......I don't allow this, I grab him and put him back on his pillow before he gets half way down the bed. Daddy just plays too much!!
Again, best of luck to you.
I am the one that spends most of the days with her. With my job she goes to daycare pretty minimal. She is fine with dad as long as I am there, but when I leave the room she cries. If I leave to go anywhere she cries. Dad works all day long and when he can spend time with her during the day (usually weekends) she has fun. But bedtime she prefers me. Talk about making dad feel bad because of the way she is towards him. GOOD NEWS for those that are watching this post- she slept all night last night! She did sleep all night for about 2 1/2 weeks but that stopped about 1 week ago. Hopefully this is a track of all night sleeping again!!!
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