2nd Missed abortion.... Need advise

[donna316]

I really need help if possible. I feel like I am going crazy. Yesterday I was diagnosed with my 2nd misscarraige. I went for a follow-up u/s and was told the babies hearts stopped again. This is my second multiple pregnancy that I concieved on my own. I am scheduled for a d&c on Thrusday. Besides dealing with the lost of the babies I am also dealing with what might come next.

My RE wants to do genetic testing on the tissue as he believes it's a genetic chromosome disorder. My question is "What if it is" How is that fixed or can it be? I know he is going to push for IVF but personally I can't afford that and have no coverage for that. Is that the only answer if I ever want to become a mom?

Does anyone have any advise on this and if so can you please share it as I really feel like I am going insane worrying. I don't even know if I shold try again.

Thanks for all you support.

[baby4Staci]

I am sorry for all of your losses..

I dont know anything about fertility specialists.  I would suggest that you keep trying on your own if you dont want to go through IVF and then you would just have to accept what happens.  As far as the genetic stuff goes, they can definately do tests and find out what is causing the m/c.  Dont give up hope...

[leelee01]

As far as genetics testing goes, it can give you some answers. If the testing comes back normal, than you have most likely ruled out the possibility that you or your spouse have a chromosome abnormality. If it comes back abnormal (and that is why the docs believe the babies didn't survive), then they will recommend that you and your spouse be tested as well, to see if it is from one of you. Sometimes it is not from the parents, and it's just one of those things that happens. However, if it is from a parent, then unfortunately it cannot be fixed-it it is what it is. I pray that that is not the case for you. I used to be a cytogenetic technologist and this is what I did-chromosome analysis. I am so sorry for your loss.

[donna316]

Thank you so much for your explanation. I just have a couple of more questions. This testing, is it blood tests? The way it sounds is "a complete work-up" Also, does the results take a long time? I heard about 4 weeks. It is scaring me to death that we could have something wrong. Sorry to bother you again but you made me feel alot better. Thanks again

[leelee01]

The testing can possibly take that long, especially on the tissue from the babies. Yes, they would take blood from you and your spouse to test the two of you. I don't know what else might be included in the "work up"-did your doc say? If you don't mind me asking, where do you live-I'm just curious if I would know what lab they might send it to. I am glad I could help! You will be in my prayers.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, and like the others here I'm so sorry to hear this happened for you.  I would do the testing for sure!  Research with the new early ways to detect it shows that miscarriage is very common, so chances are that there is no genetic link, but you'd sure want to know.  I'm glad to hear your doctor will order it -- many doctors don't even consider genetic testing until three miscarriages!  (I think this is heartless, but it does show how common it is to have even two m/cs without a problem genetically.)  

If (heaven forbid) the workup shows a genetic link, you're not doomed to being childless.  (Though none of the alternatives will cheer you up right away.)  There is sperm donation, egg donation or surrogacy (although the latter two involve IVF which you have ruled out, it might become possible for you later); there is also adoption.  At first, it might seem like these aren't acceptable ... it took me a long time to be willing to use an egg donor because I mourned the genetic link that wouldn't be there.  But after trying everything else and giving up twice, by now I'm just so glad there is such a thing, and feel it's a miracle to be pregnant.  So even if the genetic testing shows you two should not try to have a baby, you can still be parents, if knowing that helps.

I hope that they find it was just a sad coincidence, and that there is no chromosomal problem!  Best wishes --   Annie

[donna316]

I live in NY but my doc mentioned something about sending blood to Chicago. He said he really trusts that lab. He actually wanted to do it when I first found out I was pregnant and didn't persue it when things started picking up. I just can't understand why they would get to a certain point and then not survive. I would think they wouldn't develop at all. I read all these things that once you detect a heartbeat it is very rare to miscarry. Can I ask you what is the most common abnormalties you have seen? I feel like I might not even understand what the results mean if I don't do research now.

[donna316]

Thank you for your kind advise and you are absolutly right. There are other ways to become a parent and I shouldn't have been so ready to give up. I'm just am so emotionally exhausted going through this heart break that all the other options seemed too much at this moment to bare. I know I will get my strength back to handle what ever happens but right now the not knowing is killing me. I really appreciate the support this site has brought to me. I do have support from family and friends but that only goes so far. I think they are doing the testing now because there were 2 fetus last time and three this time, so the doc thinks that can count for repeated miscarraiges

[AnnieBrooke]

I was glad to read your response.  I cannot imagine how painful it must have been to lose two sets of multiples after the hbs were heard; we heard heartbeats this week and I've had some bleeding, and I'm afraid to sit down lest the chair break.  Even in your grief, at least there might be some comfort in getting a diagnosis that is certain, particularly if they found something that they felt they could try to address. I hope for every good thing for you and your husband.  Annie

[leelee01]

If any of the results come back negative, you will be advised by a genetic doctor and counselour. They will explain it best to you. Try not to do too much research as it can get very confusing and worrisome. The most common viable results we saw were trisomy 21-Down's syndrome. The most common non-viable results were trisomy 13 and 18. Sometimes trisomy 18 pregnancies make it to term, only with the baby dying shortly after delivery. However, they are many other abnormalities that can occur that will cause early miscarriages where the fetus does not fully develop. This is such a complex thing and I hope this isn't the case for you. Try not to worry so much (I know it's easier said than done). If you have any other thoughts or questions, I will try to help. I'll be praying for you during this difficult time.