3 year old girl won't potty train.

Hi everyone,

I've read through the forums here and noticed many others asking similar questions, but I'm wondering if my wife and I aren't dealing with this potty training thing correctly.  Our daughter is now just over three years old, and she has for the past year and a half shown varying levels of interest in potty training.  Lately, however, we told her that we were out of diapers except for bedtime and she was going to have to be a big girl and start wearing her underwear during the day.  Well, she will quite literally scream and cry about it in the morning when she wakes up and has to put her underwear on.  I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around what to do.  We've bribed her with various things and it'll work for a while but then she seems to not care.

I'm almost positive she knows when she has to go, it's really a question of why she is so indignant about wearing her underwear.  With a new baby my wife is busy enough without having a 3 year old screaming and carrying on about not being able to wear diapers, but I'm concerned if we go back to allowing her to wear diapers we're sending the wrong message.

This is incredibly frustrating.  Any thoughts?  Are we pushing too hard?

[waitingwithhope]

Let her wear the diapers. With a new baby in the house she probably is reverting a bit to wanting to be a baby herself. I'd totally drop the subject for a while...if she wants to go, great, let her be the one to initiate it and let her go, otherwise, let her wear diapers. Put her underwear in a drawer for now. I had a child just the same, the more I pressured, the more he decided not to do it...so when I finally let it go, he came around to it all by himself one day and he switched all in one day (he totally knew how to do it, he was just stubborn and loved the control aspect!) I promise you, she will be wearing underwear before kindergarten. I had to remind myself that it wasn't a huge deal when he learned-that everyone learns at their own pace and it has zero to do with how great of a parent you are.

[AnnieBrooke]

Don't pressure her, it will just slow everything down.  Put her back into pull-ups or diapers, and forget it.  She will not still be in diapers when she is in high school, I promise.

A friend of mine said that if she had child-rearing to do over, the one thing she would not have sweated is potty training.  When it's the child's time, he or she will do it so fast it will amaze you.

I think waitingwithhope is probably right, too about the reverting.  It's very common for a child want to be a baby when a new baby comes.  If that is what is going on for her, it's an emotional need, not a naughty behavior, and forcing her into underpants is like forcing her into adulthood.  No wonder she finds that terrifying.  Don't put a power struggle on top of her fear -- let her wear diapers until she is tired of them.

[SteelesRose]

Dont pressure her or shame her into potty training, I personally potty trained late (4 years old) and Although Im not a mother I am a professional child care giver. Just give her time ^_^

[phrique]

Hi everyone, thanks so much for taking the time to respond.  I think the consensus here is basically the path we're going to take.  She's back in diapers for the time being, and we're just not going to talk about it.

It's definitely comforting to know there's lots of other people who've encountered the same problems.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it.