I met my wife 6 years ago and she ad a 1 year old boy. Since we've met she always enjoying sleeping with him and you can tell she loves him as a mother, witch I tough was normal at that time. The years passed she still does not let him sleep by himself even-though he had his own room until today. To make the story short Now he's 7 and from the past 3 years he became more obsessed about sleeping with his mom, shower, touching etc...
The worst is now every time he sees his mom, his so happy and he jump on her kissing her, touching her breast and always squeeze his private at her with a hard on. I told my wife he needs to stop him of doing this and she said to me is because I'm jealous and because he's not my child. Everything time i'm sleeping with her the boy always come very late at night sneaking around to come sleep with his mother. Until today she still taking a shower with him even-though he still try to touch her private etc... I think there's some problems here, Please help anyone here. Thanks
She really has a problem with understanding appropriate boundaries. Perhaps she has not noticed he is 7 instead of 2 or 3, or she doesn't understand what it means to be 7. (Some men on this site write about having begun to masturbate as early as 5. Possibly she should read some of those posts.) I would ask her to talk to her doctor about the issue, possibly with you there. You could explain what you are seeing (don't embellish or exaggerate, just describe it plainly) and the doctor could explain to your wife what is probably going on for the boy. Good luck!
It might be a cultural thing, but I definetly don't think that a 7 year old boy should be showering WITH his mother. If he still needs help in the tub, she can help him OUTSIDE of the tub when she is NOT naked herself. As far as touching is concerned, this is right about the time when innapropriate touching NEEDS to be addressed. Usually, this is taught right around age 4 or 5 when the child is going to school. Naturally, kids are curious and touching is a way of learning. But at some point, kids need to learn what is acceptable and what is NOT. This can lead to further problems if not addressed (kids touching other kids innapropriately - which can lead to legal problems for the parents and kids involved).
To address the sleeping issue, many kids crawl into bed with their parents at some point. Also, remember if he has grown up this way it feels natural for him to sleep in his parent's bed. Like a dog, cat or other animal, we all learn to sleep in a certain spot - it's our comfort zone. That's why many parents say to never have your kids sleep in bed with you.
Everyone can be re-trained. Although this is her biological son and not yours, you are raising this child together. You have to make parenting decisions together. In fact, you are already making parenting decisions together - you let this kid sleep in your bed too. Take responsibility for what you BOTH have done/allowed, recognize that you are now wanting to make a change, talk it over with your wife, and gradually make changes that you are both comfortable with.
And I wouldn't be too concerned thinking that this kid is a pervert or anything. He's only done what he has been allowed to do his whole life. This is ALL normal to him. I hope you are able to make the changes you are looking for. Good luck! :)
I think he is old enough now to take a shower on his own, she should not be showering with him. To me that is not right especially since he is trying to touch her private parts.
He should also be sleeping in his own room, unless its the odd time and all.
I have to tell you, if this was me I would NOT be okay with this behaviour from her as she is pretty much telling him its okay to behave this way at that age.
I am a single mother and the last time my daughter slept with me was when she was 4. The odd time she comes in my room if she has a bad dream. She does however want me to come sleep with her until she falls asleep but | have worked around that.
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