A little help on a big problem anyone please?

first off i want to appoligise with all my heart to those of you reading this who have lost your babies to SIDS. I hope to never outlive my little girl and my heart goes out to all of you. Here  is my problem my best friend from school 10+ yrs ago just lost her 7month old baby boy Adrien to SIDS -i was speaking with her after we buried him-she said she smoked during and after her pregnancy-im not sure wheather she brest fed but i know she smoked-i asked her about vaccinations-since i was pregnant myself and was seeking any information she could give me about being a mommy((-this is what troubled me because i chose home birth with my daughter and was concerned about vaccination after watching an austrailian documentry entitled:"VACCINATION THE HIDDEN TRUTH"(it was very informative and very frightening at the same time because they sourced all their documentry information from respected medical journals over very long periods of time showing trends as far back as the 1800's))) when i asked her if he had been vaccinated -she answered "yeah Adrien had all his shots was up to date on all of them he just had his last round of shot 2 weeks ago".....my heart froze dose this seem strange to any one else? two weeks after his latest round of vaccination he just stopps breathing? WTF!!!??!??!? and it gets worse right so im trying to find out what happened to her little boy and i keep digging and i find an interveiw on you-tube with robert kenedy JR on msnbc talking about how doctors "take a new born baby in the hospital and with a hep vaccine and inject that child with the same amount of mercury that the FDA says can only be legaly given to a 275lb adult male." and it gets worse -tears - it took the doctors almost 2 months to get my friends son's death certificate and after she got it she took it to her insurance company so that she could get Adrien a headstone where aflack insurence told her" well yeah you gave us all this money to insure him and now that we have that money and he is dead we want you to notice the fine print here on the bottom of the contract that says we don't pay you a cent if you child dies of SIDS you could accidently kill your child or some one else can accedently kill your child but if the doctors say SIDS then im sorry we don't cover you on that good luck affording a headstone on your own after having to pay for his funeral cause you are SOL. I can't beleive it neither can my friend who by this time is just trying to put her and her family's life back together- she says to me that sure its obvious they scammed her and the doctors killed her son thinking they were protecting him from childhood diseases but even if she could get her hands on the tox-report and had some one brave enough to stand up for her and her family and take some legal action if for nothing else but to pay for adriens headstone...she says to me- "why even try it won't bring him back i could fight and fight but why it won't bring him back"-im sorry im a little emotional no parent should ever have to bury their child and if this sort of thing is happening and all these parents just give up how is any one going to know that there is somthing horribly wrong these are babies we are talking about they are innocent and every day they die because we are too hurt and heartbroken to speak out about it-i do appologise if i offended in any way it was not my intention to hurt anyone only to prevent others from having to go through every parents worst nightmare-i just want to know because im trying really hard to sleep right now and all i can do is watch my daughter sleep and know that my friends son is alone in a grave with no headstone--sincerly heartbroken and hopeful -amanda

[LosingMyMindInGA]

First let me say I am terribly sorry for what your friend is going through.  It's a horrible thing to lose a child. But you can't just accuse the doctors of killing her son if you have no proof that what they did caused his death.  I have 4 children all of whom are up to date on their vaccinations and they are all perfectly healthy.  Did your friend have an autopsy done to determine the cause of death?  If it was mercury or something you'd think they'd have picked up on that during one if it was done.  I smoked during and after my first pregnancy.  My oldest daughter was around cigarette smoke for her first 4 years.  While she did have a slightly rocky start in life (4 days in Nicu then was fine) she is otherwise the healthiest of all my children.  She gets sick less than anyone in my family.  No I'm not promoting smoking, just saying that while it could have something to do with SIDS it doesn't always.  I quit smoking before getting pregnant with my youngest 3 and they all have mild asthma/allergies.  

I have lost a child.  I lost my first son to an umbilical cord accident at 37 weeks gestation.  I went into labor and he was still born.  I know what it feels like and it's a horrible feeling,  I can only imagine it's worse having had your child with you and watched them grow for 7 months.  

Personally I believe that vaccinations are doing more harm than good.  When you lose a child, especially when you have no definate answer, it's easy to blame everyone and everything.  The point is, if they labeled it SIDS then they don't KNOW What happened.  

As for AFLAC, I think that's B.S.  I can't believe they won't pay if it's labeled sids. It's just wrong.  Perhaps you could start taking up a collection from friends/family/coworks to raise enough money to help her pay for the headstone?  I knwo that burials, etc can be outrageously expensive.

When we buried our first son we got lucky.  My husband was military and we got a $5,000 grant from the Family Support Center.  It covered all costs...but we didn't have to buy a burial plot.  I had a great aunt who had a stillborn child back in 1952 and she donated the other half of her sons plot to us...so our little boys share a space next to my grandma and grandpa!  

[trustthishippie]

thats the thing she requested the tox report and they refused to give it to her. they did do an autopsy it basicly said he stopped breathing -cause of death- thanx for your input i appriciate it