ARTIFICIAL ISEMINATION

I am a 30 year old woman who is very frustrated with the whole dating thing I am just out of a mildly abusive and hurtful relationship and I am worried about the ticking of my biological clock. I have great job. not rich by any means. I have worked with children all my life and i'm ready for one of my own. I am tired of waiting for the "perfect guy" I have done lots thinking on this and have decided on donor inseminatin.  I would like to talk with some one who maybe has been through this or some one who can advise me on the proper steps to take.

[blondie72]

I do not really know how you go about doing this but I just wanted to let you know that I think it is great.  I don't blame you for wanting to do it this way.  There are so many terrible guys out there (thank god I got the last good one) LOL  No I'm only kidding, but you know there are also a lot of great ones left out there also.  I see nothing wrong though with your decision.  There are many single moms out there and they do a wonderful job with their children.  I am sure at times you will get frustrated.  My SIL got pregnant and wanted nothing to do with the guy and I will say she does a pretty good job.  She has confessed to me that she does wish she had some help sometime though.  I love my husband more than anything but sometimes we butt heads on raising our little girl.  When this happens I think of my SIL who has to answer to NOONE!!!!  She can raise her daughter how SHE wants.  Who knows Mr right may come along at a later time and you could have more children but right now if this is what you want I say GO FOR IT!!!!!!  Good Luck.

[nurse12hr]

Even though I have not had this procedure, I do have a comment.

I admire you for working with children.  It takes a special person to do that.

However, while I believe that you have every right to make that choice, reflect for a moment that the child potentially created has no choice in the matter of not being born into a traditional family situation.  I believe that the best possible environment for a child would have the participation of two loving parents.  Does that mean a single woman cannot raise a healthy, well adjusted child?  Of COURSE NOT.  But, it IS more difficult, and you may need to find someone who can try to emulate a father figure for your child.  

The choice is, of course, yours to make.  I don't believe in running out and marrying the first guy who seems to be a suitable father, either.  Just examine carefully the reasons behind wanting to have a child.  Don't do it to fill a void in your life, or to think that a child is the one person who will love you unconditionally.  Raising a child is damn hard.  Painful at many times.  Tough work all other times.  There are joys as well as tears, though.  

It is very hard when the clock is ticking, but this should not be a factor in your decision.  Don't rush into creating a child simply because time is running out.  

Just be sure of exactly why you are doing this, and do what you believe would be best for a potential child.  Good luck with your decision, whatever you choose.

[cheesetoo]

Hopefully this will be helpful.  WDH and I did artifical insemination only with my husbands sperm.  My advice is for you to speak to your ob/gyn and/or make an appointment with a reproductive specialist.  Originally, we were going to use donor sperm, because my husband had a vasectomoy, but he had that reversed so we didn't have to.  But when we were considering using donor sperm we looked into sperm bank sites on the web.  It is very interesting, you can pick qualities such as ethnicity, educational status, career choice, etc.  A doctor can do the procedure for you.  Good luck to you.

[Kassimom]

I agree with Christie. Don't rush into the decision for the wrong reasons. My step-mother had just ended a bad marriage when she was 33 with no children. She met my dad a yr later, they were married and now she has a beautiful DD, (my sister) in her early 40's. She didn't have trouble concieving and although she loved her career and never thought she would be one to stay home with her children, she is very glad she has that option and made the decision to do so. You as a single mother wouldn't have that option. Many decisions that are so much easier to make when there are two involved come in to play when you concieve (conceive). Breastfeeding, daycare, and college (yes you must start thinking about paying for college this soon!), are just a few things you want to consider and define for yourself before jumping into parenthood. All that said, I wish you the best of luck! You have a lot to think about!

[houston]

Hello

I did not do this but I did wait for the right guy to come along and I am unable to have children, because I waited to late.  I am 36 and have had endor. and I have done the surgrey and clomid and the shots.  The only thing I didn't do was in-virto and that is because it cost bewteen 10,000 to 15,000.  So do what your heart tells you to do.  I wish I would of done that.  But I waited.