Age spacing in children..

I had my first child at 35y w/ no complications. Will be 36y in 2 weeks and am trying to decide if we should have another child. I feel like the decision needs to be made sooner than later since the chance of problems do rise as I get older. I'm wondering about people's opinion on the spacing of children- better if they are close in age like a yr apart, or is more better, say, 3-5yrs apart? I've gotten advice saying doing the 'diaper' and sleep deprivation thing w/ a newborn is harder when you haven't done it in a while. "Better to do it all at once" Any thoughts?

[LuvBeingAMommy22]

Hey! I just wanted to write cause I have been thinking the same thing:) I am only going to be 24.. My Son just turned 1 on the 12th and My husband and I have desided to start trying for our second.. My opinion is by the time I have another one they will be at least 2 years apart.. I think it would be better to have them some what close in age.. My sisters and I are all 2 years apart and so are my husband and his 2 brothers.. We all seem to get along great.. Any early then that I wouldn't suggest...lol So I say GO FOR IT... We aren't getting any younger :) Well I wish you the best of luck and I hope I helped you some :) Keep us posted on what you deside...
LuvBeingAMommy22

[Morgan277]

It really depends on the person.  I personally would not be able to handle it if my kids were so close in age.  My daughter will be 4 when her sister is born and that is good for me.  I figure MY sanity has to come first so I can be the best mommy I can be.  With them 4 years apart their needs are so different.  My daughter is so independent and can at least entertain herself so a newborn added will not be a great a stressor as it would be with a one or two year old who doesnt undertand the time taken away from them b/c of the newborn.  I had 4 wonderful years all for my daughter and with her going to school in another year and a half, that will leave me home with a toddler that I can devote myself to.  I just feel overall I can give more of myself to each of them being they are furhter apart.  i did want them about 3 years apart and MC.  Any closer and I think I would be in the funny farm  I do have friends who have them closer b/c they wanted to "get it over with" but I want to give the most to them and enjoy these moments as they go so quick.  And bottom line is as the mtoher, you do what you can handle.  As far as them beign closer etc. most siblings arent best friends growing up anyhow.  I look at that I am not raising my kids to be best friends.  I am raising them to be individuals.
Good luck!

[lovefamily]

My sister and I were 14 months apart. Growing up I noticed that our circle of friends were a lot of the same kids.  We were only a year apart in school.  We fought a lot, but I don't think it matters how far your kids are apart they still fight.  I have a friend with a boy that is 5 and her older son is 14.  Those two fight all the time too.  My children were 3 years apart.  I felt that was good.  They both still played together and did things together, but they both had seperate idenity's when it came to their circle of friends.  Oh, they fought with eachother too.  There is no right or wrong answer here.  Do what feels right to you.  

Merry Christmas!

[Vonny12]

my kids r 12,10 and 6 and i am 6 weeks pregnant with my 4th

[AndiJ78]

I have 3 boys, oldest turned 5 on Dec 7th, middle son will be 3 in late May, youngest was born Oct 28th, all roughly 2.5 years apart. Ideal for us, seemss ideal for school and social issues as they get older, etc. Each family has different needs, go with what feels right.

Andi

[ange28]

My 2 girls are 20 months apart and I had a m/c between them. Its very challenging but good to get them out of the way my cousin is 33 and is expecting her 2nd child in Feb they will be exactly a year apart I think its good to get them close together if your body can handle it. Good luck

[gml24]

I'm about to have my second child, a girl, in February and my son will be about 22 months.  I can't say yet just how difficult it's going to be, although I imagine I'll be pretty busy :) still I can't imagine it any other way, I'm just so excited to be adding another baby to the family.  I'd say just go with your instincts, if you want another baby right now, then go for it.  If you don't feel ready yet, then wait.  There really is no right answer to the spacing issue, you just have to go with your instincts.

[lisa128]

I have a son who is 9 a daughter who is 4 and another son who will be 2 Jan 13th and another daughter on the way who is due on Jan 27th. I never had kids as close as the last two so this should be an experience. Getting up in the night takes some getting used to if it has been a long time but, either way probably doesn't matter too much. Good luck!!

[Trialanderror]

I am not Indian but in India they seem to say that a 3 year spacing is ideal. In hindsight, this seeme true to me. That is the time one will definitely physically have returned to pre-partum condition and that is when most children are easy to handle and have enough independence to accept a new baby in the family.
I had my first baby at 41 without any complications aside from a placenta abruptio that healed itself. If you are very healthy overall, age is not such a big issue to wait another year or so. You just have to come to a conclusion about what you are willing to do in case of chromosomal abnormalities as the chances for Down Syndrome and some others increase so dramatically around age 40. I had an amniocentesis done to know ahead of time about such factors.

[jd1419]

My boys are 20 months apart--I was able to keep my little guy in the same routine as going to grandma and grandpa's everyday so he got the special one on one time and also I got to bond with the new Baby.  It is a challenge to have them close together--but I am glad I did it that way.  I was also lucky mine started to sleep through the night at nine weeks, when I went bakc to work.

[surprisebaby]

My boys are 18months apart.  They are now 8 and 6-1/2.  I just had a baby girl on Dec. 4th/06!  Getting back into the diaper thing and middle of the night is really exhausting.  I don't remember being this exhausted when I had two of them under 2 years old.  I am older now, so I guess that could be the difference.  There is no right or wrong answer for you.  Follow your heart.  Best of luck and Merry Christmas!

[luvbug02]

my dd was 3 and a half years old when her brother was born but we started trying when she turned one now that our ds is 1 we are trying for #3 like someone else posted they will be at least 2 years apart.

[mandymoo1983]

well my 2 dds are less then a year a apart the eldest is nearly 18 months the youngest is just 6 months and they already love each other so much i wouldent have it any other way i am thinking of even going one more soon maybe in a years time who knows i say go for it they will be great friends and yes you are right the minute you turn 35 they class you as advanced maternal age charming hey lol goodluck with your discision yes its hard work but hey anything for my kids.

[5preg2B]

weel mine are almost 15 DD, 11.5 DD, and almost 9 DS.  and four weeks preggo with number 4..  I love kids so we decided to try again.  good luck on your decision..