An Obese Pregnancy after age 35

For 3 years, I have wanted to have more children.  Yet, each time I go to a doctor, I am told to lose 10 or 20 more pounds before trying to conceive.  Instead of losing, I gain.  So, at this point, I need to lose 100!  Diets and walking do not help.  So, it's obvious that I have no willpower and I'm never going to lose.  In the meantime, I'm approaching that 40 year mark.  Recently, I had a doctor tell me that I should stop worrying about weight and get pregnant.  He said that age is more important than being overweight is in a pregnancy. This is especially since I am wanting to have TWO more children.  This is just as depressing to me as it would be to a thin woman who cannot conceive. I'm tempted to start smoking and drinking again so I can lose the weight!  Please tell me if you think that I should risk it and just get pregnant or not.

[nurse12hr]

First, I don't agree that you can never lose the weight.  You are just not ready for that yet.

I think your doc is mostly right--age is a big factor in pregnancy outcomes.  Couple that with being morbidly obese, and you may have an even higher chance of complications.

By all means, don't start smoking and drinking--i hope you were kidding.  Do try to give yourself just 6 months to begin a lifestyle change.  Eat healthily, drink lots of water, and even though you say walking doesn't help, it will if you stick with it and walk enough.  

Go to www.calorieking.com  

They have a fantastic support system, and an excellent food and exercising diary.  The best I have seen.

Just give yourself/future baby 6 months to at least make some healthy changes.

[pjg2]

I had a child at age 30 while weighing 350lbs.  I'm here to tell you that pregnancy and childbirth aren't easy for thin women -- and they are hell for seriously obese people.  My delivery was so horrible that I don't seem to have got that glaze-eyed lack of memory most women do that results in additional children.  I still think it was so horrible that I clearly remember wanting to DIE just to have it over.  It might not be that way for you, I've had relatives your weight have children with it being no big deal for them, but it was an issue for me, likely because I was so much heavier.  

Your doctor is the expert here and I'm sure he's right losing weight would be healthier.

But you know what?  How many people in our country want to lose weight and keep it off?  The diet industry is a larger than 12 BILLION dollar industry.  I am merely illustrating that as blase as doctors often are about how all obesity must come from sitting around eating bonbons, that isn't the fact (I've read a great deal of professional research on adiposity, and it's quite the opposite of the fact, even in children) and waiting until you are thinner to have a child, as "officially recommended", might end up being like waiting until you have 'enough' money.

In other words, it might be a risk to you and to the baby.  But in five years, what if you haven't lost the weight, and have even gained more?  What about 10 years?  You are aging by the day and age is nearly as serious a factor in pregnancy complications (from what I read anyway) as overweight.  If I hadn't had my daughter when I did, I never would have had a child.  She's six now and awesome and I'm glad I did.

PJ