Another Breastfeeding question so upset

[kris123]

I am so so upset with this breastfeeding.  He won't latch on anymore and I gave in and gave him a bottle this morning.  I feel so so terrible, like a bad mother.  I want him to breastfeed.  I can get milk out but it is very thin and liquidy.  I called the hospital and someone is to call me back.  Should I not give him the bottle?  I am thinking about using the pump.  I am just so upset right now.  I have been crying all morning and no sleep.  I don't care about the sleep.  I just want him to breastfeed.

[kris123]

How can I get to letdown before he feeds.

[Agiesmom]

Great advice!

Call La Leche League and tell them you are desperate for help.  They will help you.

I, too, pumped my one side (I was engorged on one side because my baby favored my other breast).  But I would pump it for a few seconds to get my nipple pulled out and shaped well for her to latch on.  When I put her right on after pumping a few seconds, she could latch on.

I had a rough time with my first--they gave him a bottle at the hospital (I think that really is a problem) and they told me he was latched on and he was not--but we eventually got the hang of it with the help of La Leche League.  I do know how frustrated and sad you must feel (I felt like a bad mommy, too).    But it will happen for you.  Hang in there.  And call LLL.

[4EVERDK]

If he isn't taking to breast feeding, definatly pump.  It's best for him.  It's no big deal if he doesnt want to breast feed but you need to get him the breast milk still so just pump.

[myproblem]

Do you have a pump? Pump or hand express an couple of ounces before he tries to nurse. He can't latch on because you're engorged. The nipple and the area around it should be soft before you try to get him to nurse. The milk looks so thin because he has to nurse for a few minutes to pull out the hind milk, which is the creamy part. I had been told NOT to pump at all when engorged. I had to pump though or my girls wouldn't have been able to latch on at all. My 1st dd nursed fine till my milk came in and then started having problems. I figures out that my boobs were too full and hard for her to get enough nipple in her mouth. Also, use a slow flow nipple. I used Dr. Brown's level 1. Baby has to work ahrder for the milk that way. Then DO NOT give formula. Only bottle feed breast milk. It is not the act of breastfeeding that's most important, it's the milk. Try to nurse him before he's starving hungry. Try to relax while you do it. If he gets really upset, give him a little pumped milk, then try again. Call La Leche L

[myproblem]

Continued....don't know what the computer did...
Call La Leche League, and tell them that to you, this is an emergency, and to please send someone right away. Remember that if you're upset, baby will be too. You can do it, but the 1st 2 weeks are the hardest. Keep trying, and put the formula away. You'll confuse him more with taste than by switching between bottle and breast. Good luck, and remember, we're here for you.

[grammy64]

Good Morning-

Who told you not to pump?  Pumping is fine, especially to relieve some pressure of engorgement and to soften the breasts to make it easy for tiny baby to feed.  It has been a long time, but I agree with the above poster...

1)  Breast milk IS thin and liquidy.  It will never look like formula, ever.  This is normal.  It may change more in the next few days, but thin and liquidy and semitransparent is how my milk always looked.  I nursed for six months and it always looked that like.  My daughter was big and healthy and my milk looked like white water....
2)  ABSOLUTELY pump a small amount before you nurse.  Pump a little from both breasts or hand express some into a glass.  Take that milk and start a bottle that you can use if you do need to use a bottle occasionally or to let your SO help feed.  You are too engorged or full and tiny one cant get a good latch.  it has to be very soft in the area to be able to suck.
3)  tickle the baby's cheek with you nipple to get them to root for it once you are ready and then get as much of the area into his mouth as possible...not just the nipple.
4)  As long as you are not sleepy, lay down on your side in bed or on a couch and let baby lay next to you and root.  it is much more relaxing and you are not having to "position."  Comfort just takes over with positioning and baby will not be irritated if just generally uncomfortable.  Dont do this if you are sleeping as you dont want to fall asleep while baby is nursing or fall asleep and cover an airway....
5)  Relax.  Try to sit down and get in position before the baby gets too fussy so he wont get worked up b/4 you start.  Take a glass of water or a healthy snack near you and dont get worked up when the baby does.  
6)  Try to nurse in a room alone.  Someone watching you and telling you what to do is stressful.

Sounds like with your milk coming in and baby WANTING to nurse, you will do fine once you both figure it out.  

Good luck and keep asking questions.  Everyone just wants to help.  did you try a lactation specialist?
G

[mum2beagain]

It is good that you have called the lactation consultant, hang in there. Yes pump and give it to your baby until you get the lactaion consultant with you, just give him an ounce in the bottle to take the edge off his hunger and then try him on the breast again. It is hard work and you do need help with this. I found it difficult for several weeks and many evenings gave in, gave him a bottle and said that's it! I always had changed my mind by the morning though and gave it another go, now I am heading for my six month of breast feeding. Just because you have given him a bottle doesn't mean your wish to breast feed is doomed but by giving him formula and not nursing or pumping you are telling your body you do not need your milk, you need the lactation consultants help whilst your milk has just come in and there is plenty for your baby to get at or your supply will start to drop in a few days. If you don't hear back from the hospital in the next hour call them again. I paid a private doula to help me and although it was $25.00 an hour (she did three visits my first week) the money I have saved on formula (not to mention the health benefits for my baby) made it worth it. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[peekawho]

The baby may also be picking up your stress and anxiety over the whole issue.  You are fearful, exhausted, and very upset when trying to get the baby to latch, and worried that your milk is thin looking (which, as others have said, is totally normal).  So the baby squirms and cries and fusses at the breast.
Then when you give the formula, you can see it in the bottle, and see the baby drinking it, so you are relaxing more then.  

That could be a part of what's happening.  

Hopefully Andi will be back to give you some more advice.  Breastfed babies do tend to nurse more often--even as often as every hour for a while.  It doesn't mean they aren't getting enough--its normal.  

Are you getting wet diapers?  

[mum2beagain]

Lying down is a great idea!

My midwife suggested 24 hours in bed, just me and the baby and get someone to fetch meals drinks in and only get up to use the bathroom. I unfortunatly wasn't able to do 24 hours as I have another child but I did spend several hours just me and baby lying together, it really helped relax me and the baby just lying skin to skin, we certainly were not as stressed when it came to trying nursing.

I still do it now sometimes if my hubby takes our older child out for an hour or two on the weekend, it is a really good time for me and the baby to de-stress!

I really hope you have had a better day, keep trying.

[AnnieBrooke]

Seriously, pump a lot, it will not hurt anything and will bring in your milk.  If you don't want to bottle-feed the baby even the breast milk, freeze it, but there is not much harm in bottle feeding a baby breast milk.  And it will shape your breast well for the baby to latch on.  If you get too engorged, the baby will not have a good grip on the nipple as it will disappear into the breast.

[neparker]

It's very frustrating!!!  My 3 week old and I had problems.  I was told to review the following website, and I think it helped, although when she latches on she sometimes will swallow air, or click because she's not latched on correctly.  We just deal with it as frustrating as it is, she has gained weight though, so we are doing something right.  Don't give up, I haven't.

visit the following website.

www.breastfeedingonline.com

Towards the bottom of the page is a link that says, Featured Articles, find the Jack Newman link and click it.  He has tons of info on breastfeeding, and a few video clips to help you out.

[2songbirds]

I have to say that I've had breastfeeding issues from the very beginning, mainly dealing with low supply. First off, I just wanted to say that my baby sometimes refuses to latch although I am NOT engorged. He's just so dang hungry, he wants the grub NOW. Keep in mind that I've been supplementing with bottles from the 1st couple hours he was born b/c I wasn't producing enough and he was screaming his head off that he was still hungry. So, I nurse then give him formula.

He'll root and root, refusing to take me sometimes. I'll give him 1/2 oz to 1oz of a bottle, then put him right back on the breast. That does the trick. He's not so hungry and thrashing around for food. Also, my baby refuses to take the right breast unless I cross hold it for him....he loves the left breast and when he's done, I don't move him, I bring my right one to him, then he's fine.

I don't want to be attacked for the whole formula thing so let me just clarify I do have a history of low milk supply. I'm dependent right now on drinking herbal teas, taking Reglan, pumping in between nursing, and using a SNS (supplemental nursing system). The most I 've ever been able to pump is when I'm engorged and I'll get 3oz TOTAL. So, I have no choice but to use formula. I had this problem with my 1st DC, had many sleepless screaming nights and she was losing weight and got dehydrated b/c my milk never came in. My 2nd DC, he wouldn't latch as he was in the NICU and I couldn't pump enough for him. Now, I"m trying everything I got, but also realized that I'll never be able to breastfeed exclusively. It's a problem I found out about with my 1st DC and I won't starve my last baby.