Anybody else having a hard time going back to work after baby?

[over40club]

This is my 3rd baby and Iv'e worked in my profession for 20 yrs. I was able to stay home with my 1st for 2 yrs but with my DD and now my DS Iv'e had to go back when they were both 8weeks old. It is killing me to have to take my DS to daycare everyday! I wrote previously that my DD who is 2 1/2 is having a hard time adjusting but thanks to yall's advise she is doing better, but it will still take a bit more time till she is not so anxious. This time with my DS who is 2 1/2 months; it is just so hard. I don't know why other than maybe Iv'e had a hard go of it with post partum depression and anxiety and my dr put me on lexapro which has helped tremendously. I hate leaving each morning and can't wait to go pick them up...Just wondering if anyone is/has  suffered through this kind of feeling and what helped you?

[Agiesmom]

I'm lucky enough to be able to work from home, but I can't imagine having to leave my baby at a daycare.  I worked for a few weeks when ds was 2 1/2 and I cried every day, went to the restroom to call and talk to him several times during the day and at lunch (I had a daycare provider at my home) and I'd come home, make dinner, and would cuddle and sleep with him every night.  I was heartbroken.

I truly believe that they pick up on and mirror our emotions--if you are anxious and sad about leaving them, they'll be anxious and sad about being left.  My sister went back to work and had no qualms about leaving her kids and they adjusted just fine (no anxiety or separation issues).

Is there any way you can work part-time for a while?  Or part-time from home?  Or find a job you can do from home?

[Facere23]

OMG!  I know what you mean!  My DD is 3 months and it's killing e that i have to go back to work.  I don't feel comfortable leaving her with anyone.  My DH doesn't want me to get a job opposite shifts from him.  But i'm beginning to think it's my only option.  I feel horrible leaving her for more than an hour..and the longest i've left her is 2 hours.  I think the only way i'd be comfortable leaing her is if i was leaving her with Daddy!  

[RockRose]

Over40 - this is a brain thing.  You're not meant,  biologically,  to separate from your baby.  Your brain is geared to be with your baby and separation causes feelings of panic.

This is normal.  What's not really normal,  historically,  is women leaving their babies all day long with someone else.  

[amy524]

I am going to offer some insight in the other direction...I have found that working has made me a better mommy because it gives me the chance to interact with other adults and MISS her terribly while I'm gone.  I have great resepct for stay at home moms...it is truly the most difficult job I have ever done.  My DD has acid reflux and those first 4 months of her life when I was home with her were grueling.  It was stressful because she screamed all day long and I found it hard to appreciate the time I had with her.  Going back to work (I'm a teacher) last August was a VERY hard adjustment initially but some days I actually look forward to going to work because it's a "different" set of responsibilities than I have as a mom.  I will say that I am sooooooo excited about having the summer off with her.  

I think the one factor that has made being a working mom easier is that I LOVE the home daycare that I take my DD to.  I know she is very loved and well cared for.  She also loves it there, so that has made it an easier adjustment.  

I hope things get easier for you and you can find some peace with being a working mom!

[girlybuff]

I'm also lucky enough to be able to stay home.  I can't imagine leaving her and she's 7 months BUT my heart goes out to you.
I think it's just something you'll get used to.  I hope you are ocmfortable with where you will leave yor baby.  That helps I'm sure.
Good luck to you.

[blessed_mommy]

Am I the oddball of the group?  I couldn't wait to go back to work at 6 weeks.  When I took DD into the nursery, I kissed her on her forehead, handed her to the caretaker and didn't look back.  It has been smooth sailing ever since.  I think my situation is DD and I didn't have a good start.  She didn't take too well to my breastmilk.  After weeks of weeding food out of my diet, she was ultimately switch to Similac Alimentum (hypoallergenic formula).  That worked wonders but then she wouldn't sleep. She was always cranky from being awake so much.  It was a rocky road but after her first day home from daycare, she slept 5 hours straight.  I guess being on bedrest for five months took its toll on me.  My DS was home with me the whole time and DH travelled for work 70% of the time.  Overall.... I was just glad to be free.  Now we all value our time at the end of the work day :)

[Trialanderror]

Even though I have always loved my job, I always felt it was such a blessing to live in a country that now allows one year of maternity leave. There is noooo way I could imagine to leave a baby in someone else`s care after 6 weeks or even 3 months. The initial bonding period that I found tremendously important with my son lasted at least 9 months. Then, from 11 months on he was in a small home care setting for almost 10 hrs a day which he took somewhat well.
At 2.5 he started in the typical large daycare setting with at least 23 kids and had been extremely stressed out. Only after age 3.5 he seemed mature enough to endure those long days away from home. If it were at all possible, I would arrange part time work and daycare only until they start grade 1. It is hard for all you U.S. moms and children.

[over40club]

Thanks everyone... Amy I'm a teacher too so I have just another 6 weeks and we are out for the summer. Can't wait! I'm in Texas so this yr we can't begin till after 3rd week in Aug so I'll get a longer break this summer. I wish I could stay home but I provide the insurance for my family and couldn't afford to not work and pay for independenat insurance my friend pays over a thousand bucks a month for her family! At least I'm a teacher and get holidays like my kids get and I get them by 4:30 everyday.It could be worse I suppose...do do envy a yr off for maternity leave! wow how nice!!!

[4boytoys]

My baby is going on 8 weeks and I just returned back to work.  It is very difficult.  I think about him all day.  This is my fourth child and I was home with the others.  It's so hard leaving him.  I feel bad like maybe I'm not a good mother for leaving him while he's so small.  I have to work to support my kids but I have so many mixed emotions about leaving him.

[kris123]

OMG i feel for you girl.  i am so so lucky and thank God my sis is watching little ryan he is so demanding - your heart must break.  i am here and thinking about you.  it was hard to leave him at first, but i am ok with it now.  i am in the grove again but it does get to me here and there.  we do what we have to - i am a single parent and got to pay the rent i am glad to have the break because ryan is so so damanding but i miss him

[braydenmom]

My little boy is 8 weeks old and I return to work next month. I am really anxious about the transition next month. I am having the time of my life with my baby and I love being at home with him. I had no idea that I would have such a strong bond with him. I lost my mom at the age of 25 and I haven't felt this happy since she has been gone. It makes me realize that I need to be home with my son and not at work. I would do anything to stay at home but my husband doesn't think we could afford it.  I feel sad about missing some major milestones and I don't want to hear about his first milestones secondhand. I am worried that I will feel slighted if my baby develops a closer bond with my mother-in-law (who will be watching him). I kind of feel like she is doing my job. It just doesn't feel right to me. I will need a lot of emotional and physical stamina to breastfeed, get ready for work, put in  a full day at school, and then return to the demands of my baby and the home. I hope I can stay calm and manage to do everything well. I hope the physical and emotional stress of teaching and nursing won't affect my milk supply.