Anyone else feel this way...It stil seems all surreal

I don't really know how to explain this...  my ds will be 7 months in a week and omg i love him to death i love being with him etc...Yet it's all still so surreal to me and i still cant believe I am his mother...Why??? Also, everything for the past 7 months feel like a dream.. an imagination..like I have forgotten all of it.. I mean I feel like I didnt appreciate every moment with him...I wish I could go back to the day he was born and just breastfeed or I don't know...Just take more time with my baby...Do things better.. I dont know..The more he grows the more I look at his photos of him as a baby and yet I don't even remember those days.. It's like I've forgotten everything:( It just breaks my heart...Has anyone else ever gone through this?

[pertykitty]

i have already and addy is just 21 weeks.  i attribute it to immense love and the fear she may be my last one.  i am a sahm this time around and i try to take in every moment, but life has to happen around her as well so there are times that my son takes my time, or the chores ect.   when i  had my son i wrote in a journal every day or close to it.  i stopped writing around the time i divorced unfortunatly, i had packed it away when i moved.  i should start again with her because i found it and was reading it the other day and it brought a happy tear to my eye to remember a little thing he did or they way i felt when he looked at me.  i love all ages and phases, even the challenging times, but i just adore this time.

[RockRose]

Yeah,  wait til he's graduating high school and you have to do his 1/4 year book page - or whatever stuff they'll be doing then - and you have to go through and pick a "baby" and a "recent" pic,   and write a little sentiment.

Eeks,  that's emotional.  ;D

[CYW]

thansk ladies..

perky i like the idea of a journal..if only i would have knows.. like i wrote stuff on the calendar but still...its not the same...

rock rose- i dont even want to think about him being 1 lol..

[nikkicole827]

I feel ya!  I do try to write in a journal but it's been only monthly!  I have this idea, I want to write my girl a letter on her first birthday telling her how wonderful she has made my life.  And I want to seal it in an envelope and put it in her baby book... and then when she's down during her teen years, I want to give it to her... does that sound silly?  Will she be like, "Mom you are sucha  dork?"  LOL

[CYW]

i LOVE your idea...lol...no matter what we do our kids will always think we are dorks lol

[montie2]

I know exactly how you feel and my baby is only 5 wks old.  I was asking my husband last night to play me the videos he took of him when he was born.  I know this is my last child and that may be part of it but it is more than that.  I love him so much.  I think back to being in the L&D waiting for the c-section.  I remeber seeing him for the first time and it makes me cry that that part is over.  My six week check up is next Thursday and it seems that six weeks have now flown by, that I will never get back.  I am so in love and so happy, yet sad at the same time for every day that flys by that I can't get back.  

Of course, I am very hormonal right now, and delirious from lack of sleep, so that just adds to my crazy feelings.

[RockRose]

Ya'll have made my heart so light in this thread.  I feel like what I see so often is parents who really don't know how adorable their kids are and how fleeting this time is.  You are getting it,  in the here and now.  Don't feel guilty that you're missed this or that,  you all get the big picture.  

And no,  Nikki,  your child will not think you are such a dork.  Okay,  she may SAY it,  but she won't think it in her heart.  

[thisbabygrama]

you are all such wonderful mothers here.  Im a soon to be grama and just sent this thread to my 'soon to be a mom' daughter.  I have told her so often of how i wanted every day to just stop and live in it forever with my babies.  It's so neat to see that that you here feel so much like i did...  I was a sahm, spent every moment with my babies/kids, and yet still feel like i didnt do enough, have enough time and they were my life as well..Thanks for this reminder of 'those times'.  I cant wait to experience them again, watching my own daughter find that love.  Nothin like it!!!! ever .................  Well, except getting to be a grama.....Now THIS is unbealivable ;-)       thisbabygrama

[nikkicole827]

Thanks! I also have htought that by writing that letter I would have something for her to know my love if (heaven forbid) something would happen to me.  I'm sure others would tell her how her mommy loved her but no one could express it like me... I then got to thinking that I'd never get it all out in one letter so I think I will update it every year, that way I can tell her how special she made my year!  Then when she's down in her older years, she have a whole collection of letters to see how loved she is.   I just hate the thought of her growing up! I am that mom that holds her baby every night till she falls asleep and then goes to her for hte slightest stir!  Everyone says, you need to let her learn to fall asleep on her own!  I say, hey, there's time for htat later!  I knwo she's going to be my only one for a few years and I want to enjoy her!

[pertykitty]

i want to cry now!  there is nothing better than to watch your babies grow......

[Jenny100]

YES! I feel this so much, even though I know in my heart, I was always aware that I should enjoy each moment.My mom always taught me that; not to wish life away...and it is so true. So I never wished my babies would grow up any faster than they did.But they grew up too fast anyway.
My baby will also be 7 months in a week (born Sep 14, 2007) right next to yours CYW. And I have had those same feelings. Like I wish I could relive it all again. Last week, I put together one of those DVD slideshows set to music---pictures of the day Jameson was born. And my kids were laughing at me cuz I just cried the whole way through making it! lol I couldn't help it.
I'm so glad I've been able to be a stay-at-home-mom so I can enjoy every moment.I have seven children, and each and every one has filled my heart with pure joy. My oldest is about to graduate from high school, and let me tell you...THAT is surreal!!!
I remember the early days with her, my very first tiny baby...and now she is graduating. And each baby since has brought so much joy and love into our home.But yes, it all seems like a dream when you realize how quickly time has flown.
It's just such a special, heavenly time when you have a new baby.And yet, stressful too, so it makes you look back and wonder if you did everything right.
But don't doubt yourself. Your baby is loved and cared for and that's what matters. These moments DO pass much too quickly, and youre not alone in feeling the way you do.

[Tanker Chic]

It is funny because now that I'm on maternity leave, people (my sister mainly) keeps asking me what I do all day and what my typical day is like.  And it makes me feel uncomfortable like I'm supposed to of accomplished all these tasks with my time off and be super productive.  Finally I told her, "I didn't take three months off of work to organize the silverwear drawer, I did it to be with my son, so that is what I'm doing."  I'm really glad to because I'll never get this time back and I don't want to waste it being distracted by trival tasks...  I'm pretty confident that 6 months from now, I won't be like, "you know I really wished I would have organized that silverwear drawer while I was on materinity leave."  But if I didn't give my son my full attention, I would regret it forever.  

Just something that had been on my mind lately and seemed to fit your topic, so I thought I would share my thoughts.  :)  

[Trialanderror]

It is an overwhelming feeling, isn`t it? It is the love that grows slowly and comes to fruition around that age, the bond that`s there to stay. I was so emotional that I branded everything as postpartum depression, but it was actually the joy of life and the awareness that life is full of transitions. When my son was 6 weeks old, the first ice cream truck drove by with its blaring music - and I cried. The awareness that this little baby, just in this world, has no clue what this music means but he listens with joy anyway - and I can already picture him running after the truck a few years later. It is also very touching to see how your baby learns and how easily good or bad experiences can influence this path. It makes you think about your own upbringing and you just wish that this one baby, your baby, will have tons and tons of happy moments. Then again I read a 9-year-old girl`s comment on what she doesn`t like about her parents: "They always want me to be happy."

I created a "My first year of life" book for my son with tons of pictures and a few stories about what happened in his environment at that time. Also, from his very first haircut I kept a strand of his hair. My dad did the same for me when I was 1.5 years old - and surprise: it`s the same color as my son`s. Don`t worry though if you didn`t keep track of everything, the time when he will start talking and walking is still coming!

[CYW]

I am SOOO happy that there are others who feel the same way I do.. I mean I have a scrapbook but have not really done much in there YET...I've put his hand and foot prints in there-mind you they are not perfect.. I even sort of ruined a faceclothe of his from wiping the ink off lol...he had a tinge of black on his hands and feet for 2-4 days..which i didnt bring him out in public.. I remember.. I even remember bringing him home and crying out to my bf wondering how was I ever supposed to comfort and nurture a little one...How was I going to wake up and everything..How would I sleep...almost 7 months later and we're still here...I love being a mother and I don't want anymore for a while because I am enjoying every moment with my son..I want to be able to enjoy my children...I think of the l;abour and yes it hurt but I look at my son and he was worth every second of pain...At the time I didn't really know that though...I will cry sometimes as I hold him and watch him peacefully fall asleep at night before he goes to bed(its the only time I ever really spoil him) and I wonder how I managed..if he's happy, what I should have done..shouldn't have done...Just fear that one day this will all go away...And for some REALLY odd reason I am not terrified of death...I don't want to miss a thing...EVER..which is going to happen but it's terrifying me...Everywhere I look people are losing babies and people are hurting kids and I fear sometimes I may be one of those..maybe not now but later..I don't know.. I felt that way during my pregnancy too.. I'm still hormonal lol...I take a greater appreciation for life and with my son..I love in the morning if he wakes up at 4-6am and I just put him in bed with me and I cuddle him.. I love that...(this is just a recent thing...) but yet I still fear of SIDS...like along with hapiness comes a whole other side to it...I wish everything was always perfect...

[CYW]

woops I meant.. I AM terrified of death...****!

[CYW]

uh as if.. all i said was CR*P

[deanne11]

It all seems surreal....I have an almost 4 yrs old daughter and a 6 mos old boy and I can't believe my little girl will be off to 'school' next year.  We are in kindergarten prep this year - it's amazing.

I did keep a journal.  While I didn't keep it as regularly as I should, it helps.  

I just can't believe my little guy isn't so little anymore.

[mami1323]

I completely get that feeling as well.  I constantly look at pics of my baby when he was born and reminesce about the day I gave birth to him.  This is why I say I actually enjoyed my labor.  It was such an amazing moment in my life.  I had wanted him so badly, trying to get pregnant for over a year.  He's my everything.  All I do is stare at him in amazement and wonder about how I'm going to feel when he's older and running around.  I'm going to miss him being a baby but look forward in anticipation of how he's going to be as a little boy.  I can't believe he's mine and I hate the fact that I have to work.  He changes so much from day to day and I feel like I miss out on everything.  I get home from work and I feel so happy to be with him but so sad to have to miss out on his day of jumping and bouncing and laughing.  It's not fair.  I always think, go if anything were to happen to him, I don't know how I would survive.  The love is so pure.  My fiance says that he can just stare at me all the time when I'm with the baby.  He loves watching me be a mother.  I feel the same way when I see him with his son as well.  It goes fast and one day they will be having babies of their own.  It's the most wonderful experience and I am so blessed to have this opportunity to be a mom.  

[jenstam]

There are times when I sit and look at my daughters and my son (who is a baby) and feel like I cannot possibly take it all in. The emotions are so strong I feel like I can't grasp it all at that moment. I write letters when I'm having a moment full of emotions. I've done it will all of my kids and I go back and read them at times. I keep a journal for each of them, documenting significant moments or times that I'm thinking of them in a positive way. Each of them will be given those when they graduate. Not only that, but I wrote each of them a poem. There is no more important role in life than being a mother! It's the most amazing, pure love. We are all very blessed!!

[GNicole]

I feel the same way. I can't believe my daughter will be 1 in less than a month! Where did the time go? I hope I have done everything right. I try to enjoy every moment without worrying what needs cleaned and what needs to be done. I wish I could stay home all day with my daughter! I was able to be off work the first 9 months and that was wonderful. I just want to cherish every moment that I have with her. She will be 16 and driving soon! Ahh!! I wish she could stay small forever!! :)

[kris123]

GN -

I remember when you were prego :)  Ryan will be 1 in June OMG - our babies will be babies no more soon - My other baby is 12 years old :(

[GNicole]

I remember you also. I know, I can't believe they are so old already. Avery doesn't look like a baby anymore. She is getting so big! It went so fast! :(

[cantwait4baby]

I feel the same - my dd will be one in just a month and I am not sure where the time went.  I felt like I was pregnant forever and now she will be one.  Where did the first 11 months go?  I remember being pregnant more then I do the first three months of her life.  She walks everywhere like she has been alive forever.  I also think back to right after my c-section - it was nightime and I did not remember seeing her so they wheeled me to the nursery and it was like she was not even mine.  Then the next morning they gave her to me when the drugs had worn off and this baby looked nothing like me but she had my hands.  I just remember her hands.  

[CYW]

wow im so greatful for each and every one of you...I didnt not expect this to touch so many.. I thought I was the only one and that I was going insane because no one knew what i was talking about.. I mean I will choose being with my son over ANYTHING.. friends...bar...shopping...If he can't come then I'm not interested...I think to myself..I'm young and I will have that time later.. My parents did...

[rubyolivia]

Lots of replies and I didn't get to read them all, BUT, Nikki...the letter's a great idea! i think I am stealing it! A girl I went to high school with had a sister who was given up for adoption. Their mother was 17 when she had her and didn't feel she was ready. But every year on that baby's bday she bought a card and wrote something to her. On the girl's 22nd birthday, she searched out her birth mother who presented her with 22 cards! I'm sure it was highly emotional for both of them...but a neat idea!