At my wits end (baby sleeping problems)

We have a five month old baby girl. She will only go to sleep in one of the following ways:

- Falls asleep on my wife's breast, then I put her in her sleeping spot on the bed
- Falls asleep on my shoulder, but only after crying anywhere from 3 minutes to half an hour

I'm hearing and reading all over the place from other parents that their sleep routine is to wait until the child is drowsy, put them to bed and they just go to sleep eventually. They may need one parent to be there for a little while, or they may need to be rocked, or visited later on to reassure them that everything is fine, but basically the routine is: put baby down -> baby goes to sleep.

This never and mean *never* happens with our daughter. If I put her down while she's awake she'll cry and cry and cry until she's picked up. My wife and I are agreed that we do not want to do the "cry out" method, so we don't know what else to do. Can anyone help?

[Gina04]

You can rock her to sleep (or whatever works) each time.  However, you need to realize that, if you do this now, you are setting yourself up to do it for a LONG time.  I know people who still had to do the 'routine' (rocking, going for a drive, ...) when the child was 2 years old or even up to about 5 years old.

I have 2 kids and both of them slept through the night by the time they were a couple months old.  I kept hearing horror stories about how the other people I knew were still getting up in the middle of the night, sometimes several times, when their kids were 3.  When they told me that my six month old would eventually let me get some sleep but that it wouldn't be for at least a couple years, they were shocked when I told them that my child had been sleeping through the night for the last four months.

Eventually, after constantly getting questioned as to how I managed to get them to sleep through the night, I wrote an ebook on parenting and addressed this issue.  If you would like a free copy, simply send me a message letting me know which email address I should send it to.

[AnnieBrooke]

"The No-Cry Sleep Solution"  is a really good book.  Also, read anything by Dr. Sears on sleep -- there is a (I forget the number, but say it's 20) "Twenty Ways to Get Your Fussy Baby to Sleep" article online with Dr. Sears' imprint on it.  Don't try to move a half-sleeping baby to put her to bed, wait until she is fully asleep.  Anyway, do look up those references, I got "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" on Amazon, but you could get it at Barnes & Noble or Powell's easily enough.  And I think Powell's is open until midnight.  :)

[tiredbuthappy]

Have you tried swaddling? Is she willing to take a pacifier? I would also recommend white noise. She hasn't developed self-soothing techniques yet, and these may replace mom and dad until she does. I have also heard that the sources listed by Annie are good, and they may help with techniques on teaching her to self-soothe.

[baby_daddy]

Thanks for the replies. Yes, ultimately self-soothing (or rather the lack of it) sounds like the problem here.

We do swaddle her, every time. The only time she'll sleep without being swaddled is when she falls asleep in the car seat while we're driving, but then if we take her in the house and leave her in the seat she wakes up within 20 mins. or so. And if we take her out of the seat she wakes up immediately.

She won't take a pacifier and I've tried all kinds of noise, from a white noise soundtrack on the iPod speakers to spoken word tracks to the window a/c unit thrumming along in the room where she sleeps, but none of it helps. If you put her down awake she simply cries increasingly loudly and desperately.

Thanks for the book recommendations. I'll check those out.

[miraclefornum2]

Hello if possible try to keep her awake as much as possible during the day. A lot of times babys get days and nights mixed up,sleeping all day then being up all night. Thanks hope this helps, I have a 5 yr old and he was sleeping trough nite at 3 months.