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Awful phobia advice needed.
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Awful phobia advice needed.

Dear all

I've just come across this site after frantically searching for some help/advice and really do hope that someone can offer some advice here?

I'm 34wks pregnant, but am being induced at 38wks as i have developed gestational diabetes and am injecting insulin.

Since i was very young i have had a problem with internal exams, even down to not being able to use tampons when i was young.  Although i have overcome that now.  I have had smear tests but each time the Dr has had to perscribe me valium to calm me down before hand.  

I know that to be induced,  everything  will  need to be done internally and the thought feels me with dread, i'm getting so anxious.  I know that no woman likes "internal's" and they are not dignified, but this phobia runs a lot deeper, although i don't know why, that i guess is a whole different issue.  What i need to do is get some advice so that my induction can go ahead without me freaking out.  As things stand now, i know will not let anyone near me vaginally.  

I've not had a chance to speak to a midwife as i see a differnt one every time i go to the hospital.

Any advice would be great.

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Ruby gave you good advice.  The only other things I can add is to ABSOLUTELY mention this to the next health care professional you see at your appt.  They'll note it, and help you with it.  

And once you have an epidural, you'll be numb down there, and most women who have phobias about exams don't even notice the exam then.  
I'm sorry that you have such a fear. You're one "enjoys" having internals, but it's unfortunate that you are so worked up by this as having your little one should be one of the happiest times of your life! I guess I don't have any words of wisdom for you, really. I think this is something that you just have to deal with in order to have you baby. It's mind over matter....just keep thinking about the reward you will receive as soon as everything is done. It will all be worth it. I hope I'm not sounding insensitive...that's not my intent...I can't imagine having such a huge phobia. I know that you can do hypno-birthing in some areas. Perhaps that is something you should look into so that the experience can be more fulfilling for you.

Like I said, I hope that I do not sound insensitive to your fears. I definitely hope someone here, or somewhere, can help give you some great advice so that your baby's birth can be a very happy time  for you! :)

Good luck with everything!
i had a needle phobia all my life. not a fear, but a genuine phobia. valium didn't help me either. i had panic attacks and nightmares for weeks before blood draws, and afterwards would pass out and then throw up when i woke up. it was terrible. then i got pregnantm and we all know how many blood draws come with pregnancy. ifor me, the thought of needles were scarier than actual labor. was up front with my ob and the nurses there. it was the 1st time i had ever been to that practice. they were amazing. they took time to make sure i was comfortable and went out of their way to humor me (had me sip juice before and after, let me lay instead of sit, let me cover my head with my jacket, had a puke bucket next to me, waited til i was ready, etc...) it was quite a production, but the measures they took helped me start to realize i could handle it. also, i don't know about you, but my phobia was embarrassing for me. often i had the additional worry of having people see my extreme reaction. covering my head with a sweater or jacket allowed me to make faces or do whatever i had to without people seeing me. i also learned that most people try to distract you with small talk. that just agitated me, so i would tell people nicely not to bother, instead, i would silently count how long it took in my head. it focused me, and afterward helped me realize that the entire event took 30 seconds (although it may feel longer). this helped me come back for the next draw... it's only 30 seconds, right???
you need to figure out what relaxation techniques work for you. i like silence- it helps me zone out and calm myself (almost a meditative state?)i like deep breathes and counting. and of course, i would tell myself over and over it's not for me- it's for the baby.i got to the point where i was pretty much calm getting my spinal for my c sec. (i did have to tell the nurse nicely to not talk to me when she tried small talk).
i am concerned that you don't have too much time left though. my dr had referred me to someone who helps people with anxiety and phobias. i didn't need it, but you may want to considre it.

good luck! i know how horrible phobias are, but know they can be overcome!!
Thank you all so much for your advice and reassuring words.  Phobias are awful and not many people understand.  I think i will book an appointment with my GP and see if he can get me some relaxation help.  I know i don't have much time left but some help will be better than none.  I've tried to just ignore it, but i know i can not do that any longer.  I'm also back at the hospital next monday and will express my worries with them in detail.

once again thank you, it helps just to know that someone has read what i wrote and taken the time to come back to me with kind words.  

You have all been very sensitive.

Maybe you can try hypnosis to get through it??  I dont know how things are where you are, but where I live, if you have anxiety or depression, hypno-therapy is covered.  Maybe talk to your GP about this option.
I too have needle phobia. sigh but 5 babies later.. i kno its probably best to consult your dr , but i found soemting that did help me on the  blood tests . the arm they take the draw from, above the tourniquet, i pinch the fatty part of the skin . well i had to concntrate to do this. and by the time i am looking at the syringe, its all finishd. sometimes i ve pinched too hard and get a small bruise. but its worked every single time.

Blood tests are no longer issues , nor are IV's
There are still other issues to deal with that i havent yet figured out how to , working on those as well.
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