Back from court

Thank you ladies for your notes.

it was hard and i feel horrible about it! because i just do. but he owes 2380 in back child support and is due to give me 110 per week. he just bought a mustang and now has to give it back.

[GNicole]

You should be getting support from him. I am sure that will help. Good luck Kim. Keep me posted! :)

[mami1323]

Don't feel bad.  He has done such far worse things to you.  This is his child...his responsibility.  If he maned up to begin with and offered to settle with you outside of court, this would not be what it is.  Poor baby doesn't get his mustang, well too freakin bad.  Sorry, I have no sympathy for him.  He's been mean and hurtful to you and that effects Dominic.  Now he has to own up to his responsibilities.  

[RockRose]

Kim, that was such an aggressive,  childish thing for him to do - to buy a car that's so expensive he would have trouble making child support payments.

What a whiney baby.  I'd feel a little sorrier for him,  actually,  if he were driving an old car and trying his best to be reasonable.

[Kim1989]

i feel bad because he told me how he now doesnt care about dommy and its not going to have anything to do with him for 17 .5 years.....because of me. or so im told. i feel like its my fault. mostly because of how he told me if dominic was any other womans baby he would be there. i kno hes just full of himself and he woudl split either way but i still feel bad. ya know. but he should feel bad!!!!!!

dont worry his mustang....matches the girl he left me for haha! hey had matching ones. imagine that!! o well he should have gotten a litttle "hoopdie" like his friend said! he said he has to get rid of his car and phone. no he can keep his car but he can get rid of his phone. its like he needs to have it all. its all about the car and the phone to him. not about dommy. its what does keith loose...not what does  dommy loose.

so pretty much he hates us..........again. and now hes back to ...."i dont have a son" ok whatever

[mami1323]

Then sweetie it's his lose not yours and certainly not your son's.  Who needs a father like that?  He is an awful person and probably best that he isn't in your son's life.  Dominic would be so much better off not knowing him if that's how he is.  You will raise a wonderful son and you are a great person just have a rotten baby dady or sperm donor because that's really all he is and ever will be.

[Kim1989]

how does child support work

[mami1323]

Well he gets a case number and every week or two weeks he sends the child support unit in NJ a money order or check and they then cash his check and then send you the money on his behalf.  Now if he doesn't pay, he will be called into court, they can garnish his wages, they can suspend his license, take his income tax returns.  He doesn't have to pay back child support all at once, he can add the additional amount into the current payments.  They should calculate it for him and send him vouchers that he has to send in with his payments.

[AHP84]

Also, interest usually occurs on back payment amounts.

[KStarr07]

How selfish... It's not your fault at all.. I'm sure somewhere very very deep down inside, he feels at least a little bad for what he's done, and tries to switch the blame around on you, as if you're not having a hard enough time of it, as it is.. But you shouldn't take the bait. It's not your fault at all. He doesn't have to be with YOU or around you that much to make a reasonable, responsible, mature agreement with you and have contact with his son. He is denying his own son by his own free will.. And trying to blame it on you.. That's not right. So you shouldn't feel bad about it at all, especially the fact that he owes you so much money. You deserve it, because it takes a lot of money and effort on your end, and it should take two RESPONSIBLE people to raise a child. Even if one of those parent's feel they don't need to be there. And I agree with Mami, it's probably best he's not there anyway. Especially for Dominic's sake.

[Cheyenne_08]

He is in the military....it will be taken directly from his check.

[kjbutcher]

He knows what he is doing is wrong but doesnt want to change it so he is pinning it all on you to keep from feeling the guilt.  Dont feel bad one bit!  You are his Mom and you are doing everything the "right" way, the "mom" way.  Dont feel guilty at all!  That is what he wants.  He is the one making this decision and hurting his son to get back at you.  Just be the best mom you can be (I know you are already doing this) and enjoy your time with your baby!

[Kim1989]

yeah all of our friends keep trying to tell me its not dominics loss its keiths and he will relize that! i feel bad for dominic though.

i know it will be taken out of his check right away but then what? how do i get it?

[AHP84]

Your state's child support division writes you a check for the amount and sends it to you in the mail.
That's how I get my cs checks.

[Kim1989]

oh....ok i see. thanks