Being Sad

[stacie9-15]

Now that I've had a D&C, I'm having my moments of extreme sadness & crying. I know that I'm not just going to get over losing my pregnancy overnight, but I was wondering how long it has taken some of you to be truly OK after miscarrying?

[momttc]

After mine, I would be ok for a while and then things would trigger the depression.  Find things about yourself to be happy with, for me it was losing weight and looking "hot" again :)  You'll be ok it just takes a while, hang in there!  momttc

[silo]

I know the feeling and it's not fun....I think the hormone rise and then crash has a whole lot to do with the roller coaster of emotions.  Just surround yourself with happy things and keep faith in God...everytime you start to feel hopeless, just ask him for peace and I promise, he'll give it to you....I had a m/c in April at 9 1/2 weeks, and a chemical preg. in Sept. and another m/c about 3 weeks ago....I have really kept close to God and it's still hard, but not near as bad as it would be without Him.....hope you're better soon.  I know it's tough.

[emma622]

you never completely get over a miscarriage,its an awful thing to have to go through,and its important to remember your not alone or the only person thats felt this pain and there is lots more time to get pregnant again when you feel ready.
i have had a miscarriage and i can tell you from experience that you never get over it,which isnt a bad thing because you dont wana forget you were pregnant,but it does get easier,it really does.it just takes time.you need time to think and be alone or have support(whatever you feel u need)and things just get better!in time.
im 7mths pregnant now and very happy so im living proof it does get better although you dont completely get over it.
good luck
:)

[dawnna]

Hi Stacie,
          I know how you feel.Ijust had a miscarriage and d&c on dec 7th.I was 11 weeks.It was also my frist baby and my husband and i was so excited.I relly dont think any thing has ever hurt me this much.The frist week i was so sad i didnt watch tv or anything.But now i feel some better than i did.I just keep telling myself this is all for the best all though it dosent seem like it.But you have got to remember god never gives us more than we can bare.Im not religous or anything but i do believe this is true.I believe time heals all wonds.I hope with time things will be better for all of us.We will always remember the babys we lost but with less sadness. Hope this helps you feel better and if you need someone to talk to my email is ***@****. sorry about your loss.
                     dawnna

[Christina S.]

It is a really hard thing to deal with, I kept thinking it was something I did, I would think ...if I didnt take the pain reliver or if I didnt see the dentist and they give me the meds after my wisdom teeth were pulled  I would still be pregnant. But it is nothing you did it just was not meant to be. It made me feel a little better knowing that if I would have continued the pregnancy there could have been a high possibilty of a birth defect and there is a reason the pregnancy did not continue...its gods way of letting you know it was not meant to be...or if you are not religous ..natures way. Although it is hard, pamper yourself and buy something new or you have many women here who have gone through the same thing if you need anyone to talk to...or just make yourself feel "hot" as Momttc said..lol...something to laugh at.
Good luck and when YOU feel ready and nothing is holding you back medically then try again if you want!

[stacie9-15]

Thanks so much for all of your emails. I am a Christian, and I can tell you that withougt knowing God was with me & my husband the whole time, I don't think I would have made it through. Also, having you guys to relate to makes these a little bit less burdensome. Thanks for your prayers. That's the best gift I can receive from you all.
Stacie

[MBen]

I'm sorry. It is so hard.  I've had two losses.  Since this second one, which was two months ago, I've had such a hard time coping.  I realize that it has affected me enough that I am seeking therapy with a psychiatrist.  My first therapy session was last week.  Not everyone will need that (in fact, I suspect I'm in the minority in terms of the pain not diminishing), but I'm hoping it will help me.

[silo]

I think it's great that you're going to therapy.  My husband and I had some major problems several years ago, and we started going to therapy, and our son went as well.  It helped us tremendously and I would recommend it to anyone that is going through a rough time, no matter what it is.  I'll pray that you can get through this....God will never give you more than you can handle.

[JustME9]

You are such a sweet person.  I think it's so nice that you shared your personal experience...THANX! ((((HUGS)))) Kellie

[Kristen26]

Stacie, I really feel sad for you too. I found out I was pregnant Sept 29 and found out the baby had no heartbeat Nov 3rd. I miscarried Nov 8th. Now it has been over a month and I still cry. Not as much as at first though. I don't think it will ever be possible for me to "get over" what happened or to "move on". I do feel that I can survive, thats really all I can do...just survive. I am especially sad right now because I really thought I would be finally starting to "show" at Christmas time and be wearing maternity clothes. Everything is just not how I imagined it. I think that is the hardest part, that we have a picture in our mind of how everything will be, and it is a huge letdown that the future will not be that way. Sometimes I think getting pregnant again will make me feel better (we are waiting until Feb to try again) and sometimes I worry it will just make me a nervous wreck. I got an Angel Ornament that says, "Where there is great love, there are always miracles." I'm not going to give up hope, I do believe that some day, I will have a little miracle, and so will you.

[lisantony]

I TOO FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT ON NOV 3, WE WERE SO EXCITED, I STARTED TO HAVE A BROWN DISCHARGE THAT WOULD COME AND GO, THE DR PUT ME OFF WORK AND I WAS ON BEDREST, BUT DID GET TO SEE THE BABY AND THE HEARTBEAT AND ALL THAT WONDERFUL STUFF.WENT ABOUT EVERY WEEK AND A HALF TO THE DR. AND EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE GETTING BETTER, I WANTED TO GO BACK TO WORK AND I WAS FEELING  MUCH BETTER SO ON MY LAST APPT,HE DID A ULTRASOUND AND THEN SENT ME TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A VAG ULTRASOUND AND I FOUND OUT THERE WAS NO HEARTBEAT, THIS JUST BROKE MY HEART. I HAD A D N C THE NEXT NIGHT, I WAS 10 WEEKS ALONG AND THOUGHT NOTHING WORSE COULD HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO ME, I CRIED FOR DAYS AND PEOPLE WOULD SAY OH YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER,OR SOMETHING MUST HAVE BEEN WRONG , OR ITS FOR THE BETTER, I REALLY THINK SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY,ITS SO HARD BECAUSE FROM THE DAY YOU FIND OUT YOUR PREG, YOU START PLANNING WHAT THE BABY WILL LOOK LIKE ,IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL ,NAMES, AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN ITS OVER , YOU WILL EVENTUALLY FEEL BETTER, BUT YOU WILL NEVER FORET OF THAT LITTLE PRECIOUS ANGEL. ID ID FIND A WEBSITE WOITH A LITTLE MEMORIAL AND IT HELPED TO PUT A LITTLE POSTING ON THERE AND EVERY TIME I FEEL SAD I GO READ IT.IT HELPS, I HAVE HAD MY FIRST CYCLE AND MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE THE OK TO TRY AGAIN , I FEEL THAT THIS TOO IS A WAY TO SOEMWHAT HEAL. I IWLL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS AND PLEASE YOU KEEP ME IN YOURS, HERE IS THE WEBSITE TRY THIS IT MAY HELP A LITTLE, WWW.APLACETOREMEMBER.COM, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT
GOD BLESS,
LISA

[stacie9-15]

Thanks for the web site. We placed a remembrance of the twins on it. Thank you for your prayers & I will certainly pray for you.
Stacie
Also, I really appreciate everyone sharing with me their experiences. Hope you guys have a happy Christmas.