Bringing children up in a bilingual home

Hi...I am a trilingual and DH is bilingual.  My DD is only 5 mos (in 12 days) but I'm already thinking about it.  Her grandparents speak to DD in main language of the house only.  English is used exclusively outside of the home.  Do we keep the strict separation (English is to be spoken only outside of the house) or do we mix them in the house?  I'm a speech therapist myself and see a lot of kids "confused" by bilingualism and they have poor vocabulary b/c of the confusion.  I know that in Europe it's not an issue b/c most of the homes are bi, tri or multilingual.  I also know that there is a debate going on on weather or not it's beneficial to the child to learn more than one languages and at what age to introduce a foreign language.  I just don't want our mother tongue to be "foreign" to our daughter.  At the same time, I don't want her to be clueless when she goes to kindergarten and doesn't know any English.  What worked for you and what are your thoughts on bringing children in a multilingual homes?

[tina1111]

Wow, how wonderful is that. I have a few shows on children brought up in bilingual homes. How lucky they are! From what I've seen, it is so easy for them to learn from birth, rather than try to learn(like me)later in life.

[nwmom]

I just read and article about bringing up children in multilingual homes and the dr. said the earlier you use all of the languages the better.  They said it's good to expose them at a very young age because that's when they learn the different tones and sounds that go along with the language.  What a wonderful thing for your child to be exposed to.  She will be lucky enough to be multilingual also !  Good for you!

[DollChina]

Wow, I am in the same boat.  My parents moved to the US to take care of my baby and they don't speak Eng as all.  My husband and I decided to speak to our baby in Eng and let my parents speak Chinese to him exclusively.  I am not sure how well it will work, but I hope to hear other ladies expereinces.  My son is only 14 weeks but when he's called by us or my parents, he will respond with his baby language...

[apple_blossom]

I'm a linguist, although I haven't studied bilingualism in depth, per se. I'm currently living in Mexico and DH is Mexican, although we usually speak English to each other. The plan we have is to speak English while we live in Mexico, and some care providers will use Spanish, and movies and tv are in Spanish. In the States, when ds is a little older, we'll try to use both in the house, and provide books and movies in Spanish.
I'm not concerned about the usual delay when children learn multiple languages at once. I do know that the sounds kids are able to produce in a native way are selected during infancy - not just physical production but the actual categories in the brain for these sounds.
I wouldn't take kids who have vocabulary problems from bilingualism at face value. Is it part of the normal delay - since two langauages are developing simultaneously - or is it because their parents aren't developing either language with them in an active way? (like kids who grow up speaking a language but are never taught to read in that language - that will make language problems later no matter what they speak) In any case, I wouldn't accept the idea that using two languages around the baby will result in some developmental handicap.

The only other issue I've seen is that some kids grow up in a bilingual house, but refuse to use one language, although they understand it. I think attitudes towards the languages and the people who speak them play an even bigger part once the kids get to school age.

Learning a foreign language doesn't count in your case - kids do have a lower limit cut-off point for that, at which point parents are just being robbed blind if they pay for classes, but if there's plenty of regular exposure to the language, they'll learn it.

[DollChina]

Since my parents don't speak Eng as all, my baby is "forced" to be exposed to Chinese since they are with him during the day.  By the time my hunsband and I go come, we will speak to him in English since my husband is caucasian.  Do you think this arrangement will work?  We've purchased books and DVD's in Chinese and will teach him when he gets older.  Any advise?

[tiredbuthappy]

hi everyone. i am bilingual. when i was small, my parents only spoke to me in their native language, and my neighbors taught me english. i was exposed to enough people to be fluent in both when i started school. (by the way- both of my parents were born in the US). my dh was the same way. since then, over the years, we have gradually transitioned to all english, and i must admit the other langugae is being lost. also, my little sister is 14 (13 yrs younger than me). with her, we primarily spoke english (different dad who does not speak the other language), and she does not have the same grasp of the other language that my other siblings and i do.

additionally, i am a preschool teacher. while i was getting certified, i had to take language development courses. we were taught that it is best that the child totally master one language (even if not english), because the process of language development is the same regardless of what language it is. a child who does not fully learn one language (as in sorta gets a grasp of 2), will be behind in language development.
at the school i work at, many of the children come not speaking any english at all. it is remarkable at how quickly they become proficient.

and finally... i just wanted to share that i have also worked with chilren who have parents speak to them in one language and the grandparents in another. while the children seem to learn both pretty well, i have seen several cases where the child refuses to respond to the parent in the foreign language. For example, if mom asks a question in spanish, the little girl responds to her in english.

[thetallchic]

Hi... I was raised in a bilingual home.  My parents only spoke to us in native language but neighborhood kids, tv, etc was all in english.  I also attended regular school M-F and Spanish school on Saturdays.  Kids are sponges and can absorb it all.  I am fluent in both languages and speak with no accent in either one.  I am so grateful to my parents for raising me that way.  I am pregnant with my first and plan to speak to my baby only in Spanish.  My husband only speaks english and I know it will be a challenge.

[pookie1121]

I know lots of bilingual families... and most of the time each parent speaks their native language so that the child hears both from birth on...

I live in Germany.  My DH is German and I am american.  Right now we speak both German and English at home - probably 65% German and 35% English...

When our DD is born, I will speak English to her and my DH will speak German to her... Later though I want English to be the only language that we speak in the house because she will pick up German everyhwere - other children, family, TV, school, etc so English will be the language spoken in our house.

[laura99]

I am Spanish and my boyfriend is English, we live in England and my son is learning both languages at the same time and i find it amazing how easy it is for him! t

[Me2mommy2b]

Thank you everyone for your input.  We were thinking of exposing DD to as much native language as possible.  We're sure she'll pick up English fast (as all children do).  Our main concern is for her to be able to maintain fluency in native tongue.  DH's niece didn't speak a word of English when she went to school (pre-k).  Now she's 8 and speaks it fluently with no problems but is beginning to refuse to communicate in her native language.  The only thing that saves the day is her grandparents (my inlaws) do not speak a word of English so she's kind of forced to communicate with them in their native language.

[pertykitty]

i have neighbors with 3 children. dad speaks english very well, mom does with a more difficult time. they also speak arabic. the kids are fluent and speak english perfectly. so even with mom's imperfect use of the english language there are no problems with their vocabulary.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Here in Canada there are many bilingual families.  I would speak the native language primarily in the home but make sure she interacts with lots of English speakers as well.  She will probably mix the two up a bit, but they soon catch on when they should speak which language.

[JTSHB]

Well my hubby speaks french and I speak English...he has been talking to my daughter in french since birth....she is now almost 4 and fluent in both French and English.....he demands only French language when the have conversation...so she is well used to switching the both for Mommy and Daddy......

Our concern was too much english in the home...so that is why he always speaks to her in french...she gets enough english with me and in school....we also only buy dvd movies that have the French soundtrack...she watches movies in french only...again because English is all around her.....

:) hope that is some insight!

[foreverpink]

I was raised in a bilingual home. My father spoke spanish, and my mother spoke english. From the time I could speak, they both taught me their native lagnuages. I am so grateful for both of them teaching that, becaused today I am able to communicated with so many more people. Its something that I plan to pass on someday.