Buying Dolls for Boys - Your Thoughts

My mother told me the other day that she has a doll that she bought for my son (currently 22 months old) to play with so that he has a "baby" to take care of now that we just had our 2nd son.  I am not by any means against boys or girls doing non-traditional things and such.  I just - I don't even know what to think about buying him a doll to play house with... maybe it would be different if he initiated it?  I don't know but I am very curious to know what others think.  

-Bearhitch

[chantal21]

Personally, I wouldn't buy a doll for my son. He's a boy, and to me it would be strange to see him walking around with a doll pretending to play house, that would be for the little girls, to prepare them for mommyhood one day. My son plays with trucks, destroys things, and learns from daddy how to build and do things, but yet he knows how to be gentle when he is suppose to be. I have a feeling he will do just fine when baby #2 arrives. I have heard of people buying a doll for their son to prepare them for a new baby, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary. But if you think it could help in some way, then go for it. This is just my personal opinion on it. (Growing up, I always had dolls and my brother always had legos.)

[April2]

My son has played with dolls, mainly because I was doing daycare so I had dolls and a play kitchen, etc. He went through a stage for awhile where he wanted to bring a couple of these dolls in the car everywhere with us. I did make him keep them in the car, though, because I knew people might get weird about it. My teenage daughter was uncomfortable with him playing with the dolls. I think he's just got a good imagination and pretends to have imaginary friends in these dolls and stuffed animals. Now he doesn't play with them much but likes to pick a stuffed toy to take in the car, usually a stuffed dog or something. I think it's ok to let them play with dolls. Don't worry, once they start going to school they'd be more conscious of it and what others might think so probably wouldn't play with them by school age. I think it's more of a toddler or preschool thing. I think it does help teach them to be nurturing, etc. with a baby so I think it's ok.
When I was little I was a tomboy and would rather be outside playing cars in the dirt with my brother, although I did have barbies too. I just don't see anything wrong with a little boy playing with dolls or a play kitchen or little girls playing cars and trucks. Just my opinion. :)

[IsabelleCanada]

As an educational psychologist, I think that it is healthy and even recommended to expose your child to every part of life, not just blue things and dump trucks for boys and pink/princess stuff for girls... children experiement through play and if he plays with the doll, it means that he is interested and curious, both healthy attitudes... it's all good

restricting or trying to convince a child not to pursue and interest can send mixed messages to the child, and even have a couter-productive effect, meaning that you heighten the interest, as if this thing daddy doesn't want me to do must be really exciting or else he would let me do it... I've see dads stear their boys away from "girl" games like playing house or mom/dad in kindergarden or daycare for example... or moms refuse to let their little boy put some nailpolish (I'm not saying that a boy shoulkd always wear some but once is not a big deal, it's called an experience)

the reality is that boys are naturally drawn to trucks and girls to dolls, it's not something you can impose on a kid... but if a little girl has an interest in a traditionally associated "boy" toy, let them explore this interest...

I've heard the most ridiculous things, such as dads saying that playing in the kitchen or cooking area of the daycare will make their sons "gay"... obviously, we all know that it just doesn't work that way! Your kid is who she/he is the moment they come out... you get to watch them grow up, teach them good values but in the end, our true nature is pretty much intact throughout our lives!!!

I got my 4 year-old boy a baby doll because he kept playing with one at a friend's house... he never played with it at home, didn't even picked it up once!!! Couldn't be bothered!

[tiredbuthappy]

Children explore and make meaning of their lives through play. Since bringing home a baby can be very confusing and upsetting to a toddler, I feel it can definitely be beneficial to help him figure out the baby's place in the family, as well as his own. Watching how he interacts with a doll can even give you a lot of insight into how he views the baby. It is absolutely fascinating to watch the children I work with play in the dramatic play area. They truly are exploring and expressing their impressions of family and social life. I have found that for the most part, the 4 and 5 yr old boys do tend to shy away from the babies, but they still play family with the girls. But when I had younger ones, 2's and 3's, the boys definitely played the roll of daddy in dramatic play. This was especially helpful for those little boys who had younger siblings.

Of course, your little boy won't be worse off if you don't let him have it. But it certainly won't hurt, and it may help. Or, you may let him have it, and he won't care to touch it. You can also think of it this way- kids immitate their parents. if his daddy plays a role in the baby's life, why can't he immitate that portion in addition to the other areas we encourage?

[AnnieBrooke]

My son has owned a couple of baby dolls in his life.  We had an embroidered arty doll that I had for years before he was born, and he loved to look at its face when he was really little -- like less than a month old.  My husband started calling the doll our son's "first girlfriend."  Since he liked the human face on that doll so much, I bought him a baby doll.  We would use it mostly to talk about "fingers" and "eyes" and "ears" while pointing on the doll and on himself (it was a boy doll, not one of those anatomically correct ones used for teaching potty training, though).  The whole pointing-out-of-body parts delighted him very much at around 8 months old, as if he were thinking "What will they think of next, an imitation of me!"  He would smile at the doll and sing at it.  Unfortunately, the doll had a face looked sort of unreal to me -- not exactly "Chucky" but a punched-in and then turned up nose, like it was trying to be a gnome.  So when my son lost interest in the find-the-fingers and compare game at about 10 months, Mister Gnome Face went to the Goodwill, and pretty soon was replaced with Lili Fini, just a basic baby doll.  He had many items representing dogs, cats, horses, sheep, etc. but nothing that represented a human being, and he always got a kick out of seeing something in real life that matched one of his toys, so we thought he might like to have a little person facsimile too.  Lili Fini's main job for a long time was to go with us in the car.  I took that as his toddler interest in getting to control something -- everything in a toddler's life is someone else's decision and sometimes THEY like to call the shots, and he could call the shots and be in charge, with Lili Fini.  (The doll was named after Daryl Zanuk's daughter, don't ask. :) )  Anyway, after a recent long stretch of ignoring Lili Fini, he suddenly picked her up yesterday and told her a story (including "The End'") and then laid her down to sleep.  We got a shoebox and made her a bed, and he found some appropriately small sized stuffed animals to tuck in with her.  Imagine my surprise!  (And Lili Fini's!  Here she is ignored on the shelf for quite a while, then suddenly she is in bed with a blanket, pillow and toys.  :)  )

My thought is, why not let a little boy play with a toy doll?  It can only make him a better daddy.

[surprisebaby]

My oldest son was given a DOLL for his birthday by a close friend....MY DH was NOT IMPRESSED!!!!  BUT....he was very caring to it, and in return, he cared for his baby brother in a similar manner...he was gentle around the baby...BUT...he was VERY RUFF around his regualr toys...his trucks and such...he was a typical BOY when it came to destroying (I meant playing with) his "BOY" toys...
Why is it that ...GIRLS can play with Trucks and this is completely accepted, but when a boy touches a DOLL, it is not accepted so easily...
Today my 10 year old boy is very CARING to his little sister, and to his younger brother...not sure if that is because of the DOLL ... but .... it certainly didn't hurt any!!!  He is allllll boy when it comes to anything else...!!!!!  ROUGH AND TOUGH!!!  But don't you dare mess with his little sis...he'll kick your BUM!!!!

[40smama]

When my oldest boy turned two, I had a special boy baby doll made for him so he'd have his own baby to take care of while Mommy took care of his new baby sister (I was about to deliver).  He still has it to this day in one of his many storage bins to save for his children (he's 25).  I think that's very sweet - while he definitely liked the traditional 'boy" things, he got very attached to his baby doll at two years old.

[tam2girls]

I had friends who would not let thier son have a doll and when he got his first action figure he played baby with that anyway. So if he wants to he will.

[tatorbug40]

My son is the younger of the two-  but he will play with Taylor's dolls from time to time, and he is very gentle with them,  he kisses and pats them...  it is cute...

like the others have said,  I think it will be healthy for him, esp since he is a boy-  we got dolls for Taylor to help her to adjust, but she just has it "built-in" I think-  I think she would have been good with her baby brother either way-  but sometimes I think boys might need a little push in that direction....  :)

[AHP84]

My son loves babies, and while he has no baby dolls at home to play with, there are a few baby dolls at church in the playroom that he plays with from time to time. He is very gentle and takes care of them in ways that you would see a father with a baby. I have never viewed his playing with dolls as harming his "masculinity." He also has a play kitchen at home that he plays with almost daily--he loves to help in the kitchen and cook and prepare food.
He's still very much a boy in every way and plays rough and tumble, destroys things occasionally, likes all the "boy toys," finds immense humor and fascination all things disgusting and gross and bodily functions. He's also the biggest flirt when it comes to girls.

[tatorbug40]

when it comes down to being "boy"...  when they are still this young, I don't think much hurts them....  my son is ALL boy-  ALL BOY.... BUT... :)  he does LOVE to wear high heels, I think because of the clicking noise-  Taylor has these pink princess play heels, and Colten will put them on and walk around in them....  it use to bother DH,  but now I think he realizes that Colten isn't associating them with girl/boy....  just just thinks they make a cool noise....

so we had friends over a few weeks ago whos son is 15 months old (colten is 19 months), and their son leaned in and tried to kiss Colten, and Colten leaned back out of his way and just looked at him funny-  I think he was just trying to figure out who the baby was...  but the dad said "OH,  he um wasn't trying to kiss him, he was just looking closer"....  just joking around, in an embarrassed kind of way,  to which my DH replies "well,  Colten just doesn't like to kiss other boys unless he is wearing his pink high heels"-  also just joking!....  so at least DH has realized there is no harm in it at 19 months...  now, I might have a problem if he is 15 and still wearing his sisters shoes!  :)

[Kmccrank]

I think its fine my grandmother bought my son a doll he loves to play with it he also puts my heels on just to see if he can walk.  I think not allowing your child to play with certain toys because of your hang ups is depriving your child of learning.

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree that a small child doesn't care about gender role stereotyping -- he will play with what he finds interesting and not play with what he does not find interesting.  That includes pots and pans, high heels, the glue gun, dolls, things that make musical sounds, funny-shaped bottles, misters that squirt, the vacuum cleaner, etc. etc.  My guess would be that children like dolls partly because they are miniaturized representatives of human beings.  It's only mommy (and / or daddy) who get all concerned about whether this is "masculine."  It's simply human, not masculine or feminine, at such an early age.

[Renogirl]

While I understand the concern of a boy playing with "girl" toys - I guess my question is - if you had a daughter and she received a baseball and bat would you object?  It's so normal at that age for boys to want to explore their world including girl toys and girls to want to play blocks and splash in puddles - let them explore their world and enjoy learning.  I had a parent years ago in preschool who was so upset because their son wanted an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas - until I shared with him the money my brother makes as a chef - then he was all for growing old and being supported by a rich son - don't worry about your boy - he'll be fine - and trust me, he'll choose whether he wants to play with the doll or not!

[bobborooni]

If you don't like your son playing with dolls and kitchen sets --- then don't complain when you find yourself cooking all the meals, and your husband refuses to get up in the middle of the night to nurse the baby.