Changes VS Changes

I have a 20 month old baby that has shown an extremely change in her behavior and speech fluency. Although she was more active than the rest of the kids in the building, she would follow direction on a more frequent basis.

Dad, baby and I has recently moved to US.  Some weeks after, dad had to go for training for six weeks in another state.  We talk and I Chat every day, some times more than once.  My mother-in-law came to visit and is helping me out with her.  My best friend is here visiting also.  I have been going out with my girlfriend and have not been 24/7 with my baby as I used to.  I can't even do food shopping because she starts to scream and cry because she wants out of the cart and run free.( Do not follow directions).

She was raised in a very open, safe environment where she could just go out and run free.  The sand, ocean, and swimming pool were her playground.  This she used to do with or without  friends.

The changes that I have seen are:  extremely delay in her speech, (she had a vast vocabulary and sentence structure), to the point of not being able to understand her, excessively active;  not following directions; I do give her time outs; wanting to be breast fed more than usual , waking up at night with more frequency and wanting me to breast feed her every single time.  

The waking up times during night time is about three to seven times.  She still sleeps in our bedroom in her crib, but we tend to get her into our bed so we are be able to sleep.  I even tried sleeping with her in another room, so my husband can rest. He's and Air Traffic Controller.

I understand that she is going through a lot of changes at the same time, but I am very concerned with this behavior and extremely speech change.
She has a strong temperament and I was letting her control me by displaying  tantrums.  My mother-in-law is helping out with this issue and it's working.

Please let me know what can I do, and give me some pointers in order to make my baby happier.  In general, she has a strong focus time range and can be independent playing with her toys, mostly educational.

Thank you for your time.
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[AnnieBrooke]

Possibly you could see if you could get advice from a child-development specialist here in the U.S. who is of your cultural background, because it is hard to tell from what you say how much of this is unusual and how much of it has to do with conflicting cultural expectations of children combined with all the change your child is experiencing.  If my child were displaying anxiety symptoms like tantrums and screaming, I would be trying to find the source of his distress.  You, on the other hand, see them as attempts to control you.  It it hard to tell where the true story is, but probably a good children's therapist or child-development specialist who understands the cultural mix that goes into your mother-in-law's advice will be able to help you sort out what is really happening with your daughter.

[smjmekg]

I have a similar issue with my 2 year old son. He's been a lot more attached to me, and regressed some since we moved back to the states from Korea, my husband is in the US Army. I think it has a lot to do with the changes that have happened. She's so used to one thing, and it's hard for a child to understand changes, they like structure and routines...when you change that around they can get confused and not understand. I would give her some time to adjust to how things are now and she'll start going back to how she was. It's been 3 months since we moved back to the states, and my son is now starting to get back to where he was before.

[smjmekg]

OH! And it might be confusion as to why daddy is not there but she can still hear him on the phone. There's a lot that they don't understand still at her age, give her time.

[tiredbuthappy]

my primary concern while reading your post is her sudden regression in speech. You say she previously had good sentence structure and an expansive vocabulary and that now you cannot understand her. Is it because she has developed a stutter (normal and possibly related to anxiety) or because she is no longer using recognizable words?

It is possible that everything you describe is a reaction to the change in environment. The behavior certainly can be (in addition to the fact that she is a toddler!!) However, if her language (not just speech articulation, but actual use and comprehension of language) has regressed significantly, I would encourage you to speak to your pediatrician or a developmental pediatrician, as that can be a red flag. They might be able to help you determine whether this regression is due to stress/anxiety or another developmental concern. If you feel that the pediatrician is not listening to your concerns, you can also contact your local school district and request an evaluation through EI (early intervention).

Could you possibly elaborate more on the changes in speech that you have seen? Also, how is her receptive language? I know she is acting out, but does she still comprehend and follow some directions?