Co-sleeping? Need your help!!

[KStarr07]

Okay here's the deal. I know that around 3 months or so is probably when you should start the usual sleeping routine and get something established, and choose bed or crib.. Well, I want him to be ABLE to sleep in his crib, but I also would like him to sleep with me on occasion. He's been co-sleeping with me for almost 3 months now and I just stopped a little over a week ago. My problem is, in the middle of the night I take him into my bed to feed him, and often we've both been falling asleep in my bed in the middle of the night after he eats. I'm afraid I may be starting bad habits that will last into toddlerhood? What are your opinions on the subject? I know it's really hard to break them of it and all, and I'm torn. Part of me wants to keep him in my bed, if I knew for certain he would A) Be safe and B) transition into his own sleeping place easily, later on. I know neither of those things are completely guaranteed so I'm not sure what to do!!!! any of you have experience with this can give me advice?

[CYW]

i dotn have much advice.. but if you feel it's right for your child.. he will eventually break out of it....my baby boy has been sleeping with me for 3.5 months.. he is absolutely terrified of his crib.. the pediatrician said oh well.. his needs are first then yours.. Cameron always was in his crib until he got scared.. i still try and put him in let him cry it out but it never works...i dont mind having him in bed with me...alot of mommies co-sleep with their babies...at one point it will eventually stop...camerons gettign a big boy bed for xmas so....i will try him again...

[ma2isiah]

I did what you describe with dd she slept in her own room starting at 6 months until she woke up for the first time around 12-1a and then she co-slept with us. She started sleeping throught the night on her own about 10.5 months. Ds slept with us until almost a year and then he moved to his own bed, he did fine with that too. I am so glad I coslept as long as I did, I loved cuddling with my babies. I would recommend starting him out in his own bed so you have some free time in the evening, and then moving him to your bed like you are doing now. Good luck!

[jenstam]

UGH...we co slept for nearly a year and now that Brody is 13 almost 14 months old, he REFUSES to sleep or be comforted in his crib. We are battling this right now. My advice would be to get him in there as soon as possible and force yourself to put him back after a feeding. It ends up being best in the end. I wish we would have done the same thing. Although, I will say that both of us notice how much more comforted and calm he is in between us in our bed. It is a content like no other. It's just that he doesn't really know how to soothe or comfort himself at all now. He relies on us for that.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I agree w/ ma2isiah.  I would start him out in his own bed and then move him into your bed at night.  I would also put him in his own bed for naps.  This way he can sleep independently sometimes and also with you at times.  And he will eventually sleep longer periods of time in his own bed during the night.  And I love sleeping with my babies.  They grow up so quickly :)

[Kim1989]

i get so worried to hear of women falling asleep with babies in their beds! it scarres me half to death. what about rolling over on them

im totally against it, but if you have a actualy co sleeper bed...thats different but from what your describing im thinking your talking about you two lying next to eachother in your bed

i say put him in his crib, when he wakes up to eat. SIT IN A CHAIR dont lie in bed to feed him. i know tons of kids who slept with their parents and slep with them till it was time to pack their bags for college.....not quite but pretty darn close

[spade22]

"Part of me wants to keep him in my bed, if I knew for certain he would A) Be safe and B) transition into his own sleeping place easily, later on. I know neither of those things are completely guaranteed...."

If you cant completely guarantee the safety of baby Riley, then something needs to change.............

[kkRoss]

I am in the same boat.  My daughter is now 3 1/2 months old and I am breastfeeding.  It really is MUCH easier having her sleep with us, but at the same time, I know it's time to start putting her in her own bed as well.  I've been told by many people (my Dr included) that as long as you breastfeed, co-sleeping is fine if you think you can keep them safe, once you stop, move them to their own bed.  So, I guess that's my plan for now.  I will probably stop BF'ing sometime between 6 & 9 months (depending on her of course, I'm hoping she's one of those babies that will wean themselves).  A lot of people go through this and I personally say whatever works for you and as long as you can keep him safe while in your bed, do what YOU want.

[KStarr07]

The only reason safety is n issue is because of well, I guess when he gets older, not at this point. But him rolling over off the bed scares me.. Kim I can see how some people would do that, his father is that way, heavy sleeper.. But he doesn't stay with us and I am not like that at all. Any time through the night I have to even move a little or change positions I'm atleast awake enough to pay attention to what I'm doing, always. I would NEVER roll over on top of him. And I don't feel like getting up to go all the way in the other room to sit in a chair to feed him when I could feed him right next to me. I'm usually so tired at night.
I guess I'll do a little bit of both and see what works for us.

[tiredbuthappy]

he's going to be rolling very soon, so i would try to get him out of bed.
i started with having her sleep with me for convenience- she was up every 2 hours to eat even through the night. i realized the occasional occurance was turning into a habit so i moved her to the bassinet. i could reach and touch her without even sitting up. i wasn't ready to have dd leave our room for a long time. she fit in the bassinet right next to me until about 5 or 6 months. then, she slept in a pack n play next to my bed until 9 months. if you want him near, but fear for his safety and worry about bad habits, you may want to do some kind of compromise like that.

[victoria83]

we started our dd on a scedual asap. about a month old (it took that long for her belly button to fall off??? go figure) so at 8o'clock was bath time and 9was bed. she sleep in a pack-n-play thing with the bassinett thing on top, at the end of our bed untill she was 9weeks old then the night i went to put her in her crib for the first night she also gave up her "passy" and never wanted it again. BUT i gave her, her naps in her crib so she wouldnt be confused and no know where she was when it was time to put her in there at night. she still sleeps with us every once in a while, if she is sick. we put her in the middle and sleep back to back with her. our backs against her. and some how me and my husband both end up at the ends of  the bed. me mostly at the bottom and him at the top, because she is a wiggle worm and kicks and headbuts and hits in her sleep. so what ever you feel is write you do it. but just think of how things will be in the future. years from now you are trying to have "alone time' and the baby wont sleep in its own room and there goes the moment. goodluck

[Kim1989]

kstarr. you can say you would never ever roll.....but there will be some nights where your dead tired....wake up and relized you slept forever. you might be a light sleeper......but when your dead tired..you might not be such a light sleeper anymore....all im saying is for your son.....dont sleep with him if you can

[spade22]

I completely agree with Kim.  My friend also thought "I would NEVER roll on top of my daughter" - her 6 month old is no longer with us today.  Tragic outcomes like this could easily be prevented and you must remember the old saying "this will NEVER happen to ME".  Someone is always going to be the "ME".

As tiredbuthappy suggests, something like a pack-n-play would be a good compromise.  Jazmine sleeps in one and its safe and very convenient.

[Crritter]

I have been guilty of co-sleeping.  Cam was so colicky as was Carson.  It was the only way to get any rest, and even now when Cam doesn't feel well I snuggle him.  We slept in a chair last night since he's sick and was running a high temp,  I couldn't put him down and was too scared to leave him alone, even in a crib.  It is easier if they sleep in their own bed, but you still have plenty of time to get your angel into a crib.  Cam sleeps in a pack n play, he loves it.  Once he was sleeping more at night it was not hard at all to move him.  He will be moving into a big boy bed very soon too.  Go with your gut on this one, but it is possible even for the lightest sleeper to have an off nigh.t

[Kim1989]

spade- im so sorry to hear about your friend and what happened! thats so horrible to hear.


i remember when dommy hit like 4 months started really sleeping through the night and was up during the entire day just about. i wouldnt be able to get a nap for the whole day, and between that, running around to different doctors, trying to entertain a 4 month old, still trying to manage a social life and deal with some sort of relationship, by the time dominic would go to sleep....I WOULD GO TO SLEEP!.... and half the time i would be laying in bed not even undressed beacause i was so tired. most of the time i would wake up before dominic, in a frantic omg what happened to dominic? where is he? how did i get here? when did he go to bed? did my mom get him and is feeding him? and i had no idea what happened. i would run to his bed with my heart pounding.....and there he was looking like an angel........POINT IS.....

i was so tired. or...i am so tired. being a mommys tiring! hell! and thers will be nights when your so tired or days when all you want to do is nap. and days and nights like those, you might not be aware of whats going on around you.


im not trying to lecture you...but all im saying is him sleeping in your beds not the safest thing. if your too tired to get up to sit in a chair, then you might be too tired to have your infant sleeping next to you. start to force yourself to get up and sit to feed him...but when he starts sleeping throught the night...this wont really be much of a problem....i use to have his pack in play with the bassinet at the foot of my bed but that was because i was a new mommy and i wasnt use to him....im still a new mommy and not use to him 100% but at 2 months...i kicked him out of my room and went into his room to sleep. i needed it and he needed it too! i found dominic slept much better if he was in his own room! much better! but for those two months it was great to feel as though i could see him and was only arm reach away from him!

[KStarr07]

Okay you've convinced me to be more strict on myself about the whole crib thing.. I think I more just needed a reason to motivate myself.. His crib is actually next to my bed. I don't know why I don't want him in there so much.. I just love sleeping with him. Ugh.. I guess I'll just have to get over it. The other morning he woke up for a minute and stretched and rolled to his side and cuddled next to me and it was great, but also got me thinking, if there were a pillow, or a blanket or something there in his face what would happen? I'm just sad he can't sleep with me anymore. I'm sure we'll have our occasional nights where he will make a visit to my bed. But from now on it's his crib.

[kris123]

my son is also 13months and still sleeps with me, it is no big deal because i am a single parent and we have lots of room in the bed - no man in it lol.  he doesn't like the crib and he will cry if in it.  as soon as he gets in the bed with me he comes against me and goes right to sleep - i love it