Co-sleeping

[therese101]

I am due in 6 weeks just wanted to know peoples thoughts on co-sleeping. I have been given a bed that goes in between dh and i so we dont roll on her in our sleep

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61%

 (21) 

yes

38%

 (13) 

no

34 Members voted

[Tanker Chic]

I was just talking to DH about this today.. I honestly don't get the whole co-sleeping thing.. I love my son more than anything, and I am a very doting parent, but just don't get the whole co-sleeping thing.

For the first two months I slept in my sons room (recliner), and I often I held him through the night, but after that, he was in his crib and I was in my bed.  

Since I have never done it, I can't speak from experience, but it seems to me like it would build a dependency of the child to need the parent to fall asleep.  But I don't know.. maybe I am missing something.

[April2]

I had a bassinet by my bed and would take out my son and breastfeed him and cuddle before putting him back in. I have to admit many times we both dozed that way. I am a light sleeper, though, and was always aware of his presence. For the most part, he slept right by me in the bassinet.

[heatherlynn22]

my boys REFUSED to sleep in their cribs for the first 4 months of their lives. we even put them near the cribs and they screamed bloody murder. so they slept with us, in between us actually. dh and i are both light sleepers (habit he picked up in the marines and i picked up after having them home) so we weren't worried about rolling over on top of them  (especially since brett insisted on sleeping on me. with his little head on my heart...my mom thinks him hearing my heart beating was soothing to him and eli was in the crook of my arm, talk about uncomfortable) but now that they're almost a year old they won't sleep anywhere but their cribs

[AnnieBrooke]

Boy, it makes those night feedings easy, when breastfeeding especially.  We had an Arms Reach bassinette -- they are great.  Just take very seriously the risk of the baby snuggling down into your armpit and re-breathing too much carbon dioxide and smothering.  I was always waking up and checking and checking.  If that will keep you awake, I don't recommend it, and if you don't think you'll both be hyper-alert to that risk, I wouldn't recommend it either.

[Whitneylauren]

We currently co- sleep with our 4 month old baby and did with our first as well. If you are nursing I think it is the easiest to sleep with baby because you can just roll over and nurse when he awakes. I thoroughly enjoy cuddling with my little one each night and waking up to his smiles the next morning. We always put him in the co sleeper to begin with, though, then he ends up in our king size bed during the night.

With out first we transfered him to his crib at 8 months without a problem. After 2 nights of waking up crying he would sleep through the night for 12 hours, and has ever since.

[BabyHardiman]

My little one sleeps in her crib and has since we brought her home.  I have put her in bed with us just a few times, and each time we've allowed her to sleep in bed with us it some how caused her to wake the following nights wanting to cuddle. Or at least that is what I think.  She is now 15 months old.  She is still nursing every other day.  I just can't seem to wean her, or myself.

[ImmortalOne]

I loved co-sleeping with my children, I did it for my last 2.  While it can be nerve wracking to move them to their own beds later, the time together is well worth it.  So is the ease of breastfeeding and how well it promotes continued and prolonged milk supply and BF'ing.  I am pregnant with #4 and we are debating the co-sleeping this time, I think its more if we will do it every night or not.

[findinghumility]

We have not done actual co-sleeping although I have had the babies in a bassinet near the bed or in a crib in our room for several months.  I have a hard time going to sleep with the baby next to me.  That being said I think the most important thing is to know the safety rules.  The people I know that are HUGE co-sleeping advocates and practice co-sleeping with their kids insist that it must be done safely.  Some of the rules are that neither parent can be smokers, NO alcohol intake of ANY KIND in the system as it will make you less likely to wake up if you role near the baby.  No bulky blankets etc.  And one of the biggest ones is that the baby is supposed to sleep only on the side by mom, NOT in between mom and dad.  The research they had found suggested strongly that mom has a MUCH stronger natural instinct even while asleep to be aware of baby and their surroundings which makes sense to me. They recommend putting a side gait on the bed like what they have for toddler beds so the baby can't role out.  

That being said you talked about a "bed" that you got as a gift that is to be put on your bed.  If I'm thinking of the same thing as you, those are made to take many of the co-sleeping risk factors out of the picture.  You still may want to consider sleeping by your husband and putting the baby on the side between you and the edge.  Just do the research on how to make it safe.  Like many women have said it can be great when having a baby who wants to nurse frequently at night or sleeps better next to you.  Take care!

[PrivateNShy]

Hahaha your post made me giggle so hard!
However, all I have to compare that situation too is my lil doggie.
He does the same thing with DH and I....or he snuggles up to my heart or belly.
SO CUTE!

[scorpiogirl32]

instead of putting up a side rail witch a newborn could get trapped and suffacate(i did that and my 5 month old got trapped but i heard her cry i would not use that tell thay are older like 1)i would take the side rail off the crib put it agenst the wall and push my bed up to it so when my baby was done nursing i would just gently move them over to there crib we are still cosleeping just a little bigger space if you do it right there wont be no gap for the baby to fall through i loved this. and i never let my baby sleep in between me and the dad just my rule and if hes been drinking he sleeps on the couch not takin no chances

[40smama]

Personally, I'm such a light sleeper and have chronic insomnia that co-sleeping was out of the question for me.  I too like Tanker Chick never understood how parents could do this - even breastfeeding ones.  I breastfed four out of five of my babies & I still couldn't lay down w/them but I hear it's great for the nighttime feedings.

I sleep much, much better and so does my baby (I think - LOL) when he's in his crib and I'm in my bed.  I just hate though sleeping w/that dratted monitor - especially when it has a ton of static.

[jenstam]

We nursed and co-slept and now have a 2 year old that sleeps part of the night with us, mostly every night. We have a baby due in November and since I will nurse him as well, will more than likely co-sleep. Although, part of me wants to do things differently so we don't have a baby who can't sleep on his own. We will see how it goes. It's just so easy to co-sleep when you nurse. Maybe we will just have to get a king sized bed!

[jenkaye21]

We have never co-slept with any of our three children and will not with this one.  I would have *loved* to have our first baby sleep between us (or so I thought), but DH insisted that we not start this.  His thinking was that it would difficult to ever get her OUT of our bed, and he was so right.
I know so many people whose kids still want to sleep in their beds, or crawl into their beds in the middle of the night, and I am glad ours have always been in their *own* bed.  I have to give DH credit for this one!
Although, if you plan to move baby out of your bed at a fairly young age, I don't see why it would be a problem.

[tiredbuthappy]

i had DD right next to me in a bassinet. I didn't even have to sit up fully to get her in bed with me to feed her. I loved seeing her and hearing her. There were times where I fell asleep with her in bed with me, but it made me very nervous, despite the fact that I am the world's lightest sleeper. So I did my very best to keep her in her bassinet. If my cat sneezes downstairs, I wake up. Of course she did sleep longer those few times she was with me or on me, but I found alternatives that worked just as well. One was the vibrate function on the bassinet. If she stirred in the night, I just hit that button and it worked like a charm. I also found cradling her body in the bassinet with a sleep positioner made all the difference in the world- it gave her the security that my presence would have given her but in a safer way. My little one didn't roll until she was about 6 months old, so she stayed in the bassinet until 5 months or so. She then moved to a pack n play, and btw 8 and 9 months she went into her own crib in her room without any problems. The only times she ever comes in our bed is when she's very sick. Putting her to sleep is a breeze and a joy.

Ideally, I would love to do the same with this one, since we had so much success in getting our DD to be a great sleeper in her own bed. However, I really hope to nurse this baby, and suspect that I will do what so many nursing mothers do- cosleep for convenience. I'm not planning on it, but I can see it happening. If this happens, I will look into the safest way to do it (including, possibly, kicking DH out of bed for a while).

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I think it's okay myself.  I have done it w/ almost all of my kids.  The only time I haven't was if the child didn't want to and for some reason, my 3rd just HAD to be rocked to sleep.  I couldn't lay still w/ her in the bed.  She just had to be moving!!  She was the only weird one.  LOL!  But I only did that until she could hold a bottle by herself.  But I did breastfeed her exclusively until she was about 9 months old.  I then had to wean her because I started working.  BUT, I have gotten really lazy w/ this last one and she just turned 2 and she is still in my bed.  And I did have to kick DH out of the bed :(  But honestly, he is kind of hard to sleep with anyway.  He is a wild sleeper and he wakes up a lot in the night.  So, it's not such a bad thing.  BUT, I do have another baby on the way and will have to kick my poor Rebecca out :(  

Okay, now I'm babbling!!!  But I think co-sleeping is fine and when you go long periods of time without sleep, sometimes desperation just kicks in and you do what you have to do to get some shut eye!!

[PrivateNShy]

I was wondering why on earth would someone start this co-sleeping thing....For my sister and I often raided moms bed for fun or to feel cozy but I never really heard of bringing a newborn into the bed to be honest. I mean sure for naps and stuff...but dont you ladies snuggle up with your husband? Isnt it a little to impersonal for you to give the attention you need to your husband/boyfriend?

I am kinda understand now a bit from the post that Michele left. You do it outta desperation so you can get some shut eye!

Is that the case for all of you guys above?

I do remember oprah doing a show on "The Family Bed".....
I dont necassarly disagree...but well, i guess i do when it comes to newborns and toddlers...cause i have often felt it gets outta hand and the child always wants to sleep like that.

Help me understand your opinions...cause really I think this is odd.

I mean why have a newborn sleep IN the bed and IN BETWEEN at that...when you can just put a crib or bassinette in the room NEXT to the bed?

[GRose]

My son is 3 weeks old and will NOT sleep for more than an hour in his bassinet but if he sleeps with me he will stay sleeping for 2 hours so that extra hour is why I co-sleep. Yes I miss snuggling with my fiance but right now, I need some sleep!!!!!
I have a 2 year old that I did the same thing with and he does fine sleeping on his own now, it didn't mess him up.

[GRose]

BTW- I do use the co-sleeper bed.

[saranwrap21]

I have a friend who said that once they started this with their newborn, they had to resume it and it put a LARGE toll on their relationship...  the boy is now 10 years old and cannot sleep alone.. ??

Not everyone's the same though.. good luck

[rubyolivia]

We co-sleep and have since day one with Max. He's almost 2 now and is still with us on most nights. He will sleep anywhere and is 100% fine in his toddler bed--WE choose to co-sleep. It has not taken a toll on our relationship by any means and we will most likely co-sleep with our 2nd son, due in December. It is a great bonding experience and was super convenient for nursing! It is one of those things, though, that if you don't follow proper safety procedures--it is not worth the convenience or the bond. I encourage it, IF you can be careful and know your own sleep patterns well enough not to endanger your infant.

[rubyolivia]

I never thought I'd enjoy co-sleeping before I had my son. I was dead set that he would sleep in HIS bed in HIS room. That's why we bought the monitor, after all! Once I had Max--not only did I need the shut-eye, but I seriously loved that little guy more than even I believed possible. I spent 9 long months hogging and him and keeping him all to myself...and I needed/wanted that snuggle time that we had before. I'm not sure if you have children or not, but it seems to me that once you have one--all your ideas and opinions of what you will and won't do suddenly start to change. It's very hard to explain!

[PrivateNShy]

Super answers girls. Makes since! Ya need more sleep =)
This was very helpful!

(I am pretty sure that I wont be doing this as I already have a dog that I must wait during the night because he likes to sleep under the covers and i am always moving him or fanning the covers for air for him...lol..PLUS with my wild sleeping habit and my DH already complaining about the room and me stealing all the covers...Im most certain that we wont be co-sleeping...lol. Plus one time he had his leg on my dog and I had to rescue it...the dog was so asleep himself that he didnt care but he was struggling to move when i awoke to pry him away. I made sure my little cuddle dog sleeps only on my side...often he tries to sneek in between up where is more cozy.)

No babies in the bed with me! Except for maybe naps when its just me.

[PrivateNShy]

The hilarious thing is that my mom didnt co-sleep my sister nor I. However, when we were old enough to walk we would sneak in her bed anyhow....actually until our teens!
I remember being 12 and still doing this occassionally. I dont know why. I think cause its was cozy...when my sister was grown and came to visit in the guest room...she also would sneek in moms bed. HAHA..so maybe our mother should have co-sleep with us afterall. I have an way older friend as well she is in her 40s with a 23 year old daughter...she said everytime still her daughter sleep with her every chance she gets.
Neither one of us three ladies were breast feed. I am wondering if that is the chase for SaraWalan21 's friends son as well.

Maybe the kids that were breast fed and co-bed have no problem sleeping in their bed after 3 years of age...I dunno.

This is surely interesting though!

[jewell1117]

I made the mistake of letting my oldest sleep w/ us, only out of pure desperation for some sleep.  She was Colicky and I thought I would have a nervous breakdown.  With that being said she moved into my bed for almost four years!  She to this day cannot put herself to bed at 10 years old and is terrified of being alone at night.  I cannot tell you how many more sleepless night I created in the long run.  When my second came along I made sure he never saw our bedroom for his first year.  There was no way I was going to sleep with two of them.

[jenstam]

Jess, I didn't know you co slept with Max! Brody falls asleep with me EVERY night. He snuggles right in and lays his head on my chest. We co slept when we nursed from day one (after his NICU stay) and I have loved it. They are only little once. Isn't it amazing the love you feel? Indescribable if you have never felt that kind of love before! What we do now is allow him to snuggle (he says "I cuddlebug Mama") and then transfer him to his toddler bed after he falls asleep. Some nights he stays all night in his toddler bed, most nights he joins us sometime in the middle of the night and snuggles in again. It's precious and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I'm a little bit concerned how this will all work out when this baby boy comes in November though. Brody really loves to cuddle with mama and that just isn't going to work real well when I'm nursing but I'm sure we'll work it out. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose my Brody to his Daddy when this baby comes!! He is such a mama's boy and I love it ;)

PS-I did not co sleep with my daughters. I'm not sure why. I just always put them in their cribs from early on in infancy.

[rubyolivia]

Jen,
Your routine with Brody sounds just like ours with Max! Exactly the same scenario. I, too, am a little nervous about what's to come when we have the baby. They will be sharing a bedroom for a little while, so I think that maybe after 6 weeks or so, we'll try to put baby O in the crib while Max is in his twin bed. Then if the baby cries.....I will be the one climbing into Max's bed! LOL

[jenstam]

Brody and his brother will be sharing a room as well. But, your plan wouldn't work for us because Brody has a toddler bed! I'm sure it will be us squeezing a baby and toddler in. Oh well ;)

[rubyolivia]

Max had a convertible bed, so right now it is a toddler, but we'll be switching it back to a crib for the baby. He's getting Jeremy's bunk bed (the bottom half) from when he was a kid--we're sanding it down and painting in navy blue--and then all new "big boy" bedding for his birthday. :)

And while my big plans sound great in theory--we, too, will probably be jam packing the whole family (dogs included) into one bed. I think we need a king size...

[jenstam]

We have the convertible bed as well, but it's being used as a crib for the baby, like yours.
We have talked about a king sized bed. I think that is the route we will have to go.
These little munchkins have us wrapped around their fingers!