Crying it out

[kris123]

I took Ryan for his 4month visit and the dr asked about his naps.  He only sleeps 20min here 20min there.  He told me to put him down at 9:30am and let him cry his self to sleep, then put him down at 1:00 and let him sleep till 3:00.  I don't think Ryan ever sleep more then 40min at a time.  How is this going to work.  He does not sleep well at night or during the day.  BTW he was 16pounds and 27" Dr said he is very long for his age 18w.  So what do you think about crying it out.  I don't think I can do it.

[AndiJ78]

I don't think that is terribly sound advice. Babies aren't cookie cutter. My oldest took 1-2 hour naps very predictably. My middle one was all over the place and even at 3 doesn't sleep near as much as my other two. my youngest is the best sleeper of them all. What I am getting at is that you cannot expect all babies to sleep the same way. I am a little bothered by a doc who tells you to have your 4 month old (is it possible he is that old already,lol) cry it out.

We tried, unsuccessfully, to make T fit into our perception of a baby sleep schedule or rather how much we thought he should sleep. Encouraged naps, varied bed times, etc. In the end his temperament dictated when and how long he would sleep. He was never a big napper and rarely sleeps for more than 6 or 7 hours a night. Thankfully he will play quietly when he awakens.

If you don't feel right about doing it, don't do it. There is no reason to let a 4 month old cry it out. Babies cry because they need something, even if it is comfort. Don't we all crave comfort?

[April2]

I personally couldn't do it. It's one thing to let them fuss a little while they settle down but to let them cry it out where they get so upset they can get the hiccups and probably a headache. Haven't you ever got a headache and all stuffy when you've been crying hard? If you're going to do it, I wouldn't let him cry more than 5 minutes.

I think we all differ on our sleep cycles. Some people (including babies) just need less sleep than others. I think there might be a better way. Why don't you try this. Try keeping him up until it's time for his morning nap. Don't let him take the little cat naps. Play with him, keep him stimulated. Then lay him down and see if he sleeps a little longer. Same thing with the afternoon nap. Make naptime pleasant. Nurse or bottle feed him, rock him, play soothing music, keep the room dark. Help him relax. Sometimes a warm bath right before laying him down will help.
I'd try that first. It's gotta be better than crying himself to sleep!

And you're right! Wow, that really is long! He's going to be tall! My 3rd child was my biggest. He was 8lbs 1oz and 22 inches at birth. He's been in the 95th percentile ever since. He's 3 years old now and 37 inches tall and 36 pounds. He's just going to be a big boy! I joke that he's going to be my linebacker!
He sounds like a healthy, normal baby. Just enjoy him. Trust me, they grow up too fast, especially out of the baby stage. Enjoy every minute! :)

[Kristen26]

I'm sorry you are going through this and it sounds like your Dr. is not helping! I really like Dr. Sears for sleep advice, especially if you are not a believer in "crying it out".

Check out his link:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Also I thought the book, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley was very helpful for sleep issues.

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

Good luck!

Kristen

[girliegrl1723]

i could never do it either. as much as everyone told me to, b/c my son has never slept through the night (now almost 10 months). my ped said the same thing around that time. her advice was to "feberize" him. there's a book written by dr. feber about good sleeping habits. i just think that they need to set their schedules. does your son sleep well at night? how do you usually put him to sleep? does he fall asleep for naps while he is eating (either breastfeeding or bottle)? b/c thats how my son always fell asleep also. he is in daycare now and they have a hard time getting him to takes naps also, but as he gets older, he is becoming more independant and doesn't want to be rocked to sleep anymore. he is much better at night than he used to be and i have done nothing different. he just decided one day that he wanted to fall asleep on his own and he did. so, as im rambling, what i think im trying to say is, if there is nothing wrong with your son that is keeping him from sleeping, then maybe this is just his preferred sleeping habit right now. i dunno. at night, with my son, i just dont think letting him cry would work. he just gets more and more worked up and since i have to work in the morning, its a lot easier to just go comfort him and lay him back down. as far as naps, you can try your best to get him to go sleep the way you normally do at certain times every day and see if that gets you anywhere. good luck. i definately know how you feel.

[cantwait4baby]

I could never do that.  I am lucky that my daughter has slept through the night since she was three weeks old but she gets up at 6am.  Takes little cat naps throughout the day and then goes down for the night at 9pm.  She is always happy too and I think it is because of the cat naps.  

I know I would never be able to let her cry, if her lip goes up I jump to her aid.  Also, she was at the doctor for her 20 month visit and she was 27"long.  Only 15lbs.  Doctor did say she was above average for length and normal for everything else. The funny thing is she looks chunky.  Look at my pic on here of her.  ???  

[April2]

All babies are chubby. That's what makes them look so darn cute! You should have seen my daughter! You know how most babies have two rolls of fat on their little thighs? She had 3 rolls! Lol! She lost it pretty quick once she started learning to walk and then run! Now she is a trim, athletic teenager!

[kris123]

I just thought it was odd that he say this.  I mean I won't be able to do it anyway just was wondering if anyone did this.  He said it was the new thing.

[filbert143]

I had always heard that you aren't supposed to let a baby "cry it out" until they are 6 months old.  Before that it doesn't work and only upsets the baby further.  My dd (now 6 months old) sometimes takes 15 min naps and other times takes 4 hour naps - it's all depends on what they need.  If your ds is happy and content....then let him sleep the way he needs to.

As for the height / weight - my dd hit the 20 lb mark at 5 months...and was only 26"!!  Super chunk!!  Her older sister was that size at 15 months!  Talk about opposites!  lol...

[AnnieBrooke]

My son only naps well if he is in my arms (impossible most of the time) or in his swing.  I don't mind letting him sleep in the swing during the day, so that is what we do.  I don't think crying it out is anything but old-fashioned advice.  It is upsetting for the child and the mom.  Look up the Dr. Sears link, he is great on advice about sleeping.

[nikkicole827]

My pediatrician who is young and hip also said to let her cry things out for sleep training.  Leah was only 8 weeks at that visit (a week ago)!  I just can't let her cry too long.  I time it to 15 mins and I watch the clock dying for that minute when I can go to her.  However, I must admit there have been times when she's gotten herself back to sleep!  Ped. said to let her cry for up to a half hour or so... I don't[ knwo abou that! In her defense, she also said to use my comfort level as a guide.

[kris123]

Ryan does not sleep well at all anytime.  He wakes about every two hours and sometimes he will make it to four hours.  Twice he did five at one time.  I have to rock him to sleep and he fights is really bad with bad crying :-)  It's funny because if he doesn't want to sleep, he wakes himself up by kicking his legs and moving his arms it is so funny and his eyes get big

[jd1419]

I know they say to put your baby to sleep on their backs--but honestly for me my youngest son would only sleep when he was on his tummy--unless being held--if Ryan can pick his head up and you are comfortable with it--i would say try the tummy.  Also isn't your mom and your sister watching him on days you can't take him to work?  Try and make sure all three of you do the same thing for nap time--so it is consistent and he recognizes the signal for nap time--like bottle and say a massage iwth lotion and then put in new pj's and rocked and then laid down..it may help to all be on the same page.

[tatorbug40]

My DD is almost 3 and she now takes 2 hour naps, but up until she was about 18 months or 2 years she wasn't a good sleeper... she would never lay down and fall asleep,  I'd have to hold her or at least rock her to sleep-  it got furstrating...  I tried when she was about 6 months old or so to let her cry it out a couple of times...  first of all, it was very hard to do-  it was heart breaking...  on top of that, my doctor (who is no longer my doctor) told me that babies can't go longer then 1/2 an hour or so before they get tired...  but once I let her go-  we got to at least 45 mins before I couldn't take it any longer and went to get her-  she could go forever w/o falling asleep...  so... like one of the above posters said, all babies are different...  I couldn't do it, we just make what works for us work... for a long time I'd hold her on the couch watching football or basketball and she'd fall alseep and I'd lay her down,  now she is pretty good about just laying down on the couch when she is tired and falling asleep on her own... she still doesn't nap in her bed...  but that is what works for us...  it was frustrating, but I didn't think that crying it out thing worked very good, at least for us!  Good luck!

[kris123]

I stopped bringing him to work as of last week.  I'm doing ok with that just because he is in good hands.  My sis does what I do, rocks him to sleep with passy.  He is a fussy baby anyway and the colic is there still.  He hates his tummy so I told my sister to give him tummy time because I just can't :-0

[newbie2b]

Our babies sound so similar. At 4and a half months, she also weighed 16lbs and was 26".  Anyhow, my daughter doesnt nap good either.  20 minutes there 30 another time and if we're lucky maybe an hour.  Honestly, she naps better when I'm there then when someone else is with her (ie: her dad, the baby sitter, my mom)  Not sure why but, it's a fact.  I couldn't let her cry to sleep either.  My daughter still needs to be soothed to sleep and I cant imagine just putting her in her crib and letting her cry.  I dont even like to hear her whine.  
I would follow your instincts. I listen to my dr but I also tend to listen to my own instincts when it comes to my daughter.  Because honestly, Dr's are not always right and they dont go home with you.

[myproblem]

I have never agreed with "cry it out". Having said that, there have been times that I have been desperate enough with my girls that I was willing to try it. Not only was it awful fo both of us, it didn't even work. They just cried and cried and cried. My 9 month old used to sleep through the night, but stopped a couple of months ago. Her Dr. also suggested crying it out. So I gave it one more shot, especially because dh wanted me to. She cried for over an hour. I would occasionally check on her and give her her pacifier. In the end, she was just more upset and clingy. I felt like a horrible mother, and I told my husband that I will never do that again. I think Dr.'s just say that because they don't have any other answers. In the case of my first daughter, looking back, I think she had reflux and that's why she kept waking up. She has now been dx with it at 4 years old, but I can see it was there all along.

[kris123]

How much does you daughter weight now and how old is she.

[jenstam]

Brody doesn't sleep longer than about 3 hours at night and an hour or two during the day, either. He sleeps best in our arms or in bed with us, so that's how we do it. No schedules and no crying it out. I could never let him cry longer than 5-10 minutes. So I agree with not letting him cry it out.

[girliegrl1723]

re: tummy time - my son also hated tummy time, but from 3 months old, preferred to sleep on his tummy. he wanted nothing to do with being on his tummy while awake but i found that if i lay him on his tummy in the crib (once he was already asleep in my arms) he slept longer.

[decogrl]

Okay...drum roll please.......DD 13 months has NEVER slept through the night ever!  Forget about crying it out, and every bloody method on the market..there are just some kids who don't take to the crying it out well, and end up with mommy and daddy until they are 2..we happen to have one of those. We accepted her and the fact that there is nothing we can do but let her grow out of it, just like the colic we had to deal with for 5 months....good luck!

[Me2mommy2b]

I tried it a few times out of desperation and hated every second of it.  I ended up hating myself afterwards for putting DD through this.  Some babies are not great nappers or night sleepers (like my DD).  I'd suggest instead of crying it out, have a routine to let him know that it's time to sleep now.  I read Pantley's book and even though never used any of the techniques, they sound promising.  And wow, he IS long for his age :))

[kris123]

I always thought that colic stopped at 3months but he cries off and on from 5-9 every evening.

[Avas Mom]

Hes 18 weeks and 16 lbs? Thats not big at all..at that age my daughter was about 14 lbs

[newbie2b]

she is approaching 6 months but I wont know her new weigh in until mid Nov when she gets her 6 month shots.

[deanne11]

Just reading your comments scares me to death!  My little Jake doesn't sleep at all ever....At first he slept all the time and it scared me.....now, I have to hold him and comfort him.  The minute he does not feel my body heat, he's up within 10-20 minutes of putting him down....hope I don't deal with this still at 18 weeks.

I know he is barely 3 weeks old but I am dreading the 'let them cry it out' advice....I won't be able to do it and yet holding him all the time, I feel like he is going to be dependent on me for sleep.

My hubby and I do not believe in co-sleeping and my DD has a hard time following these rules so we don't want to give little Jake and false pretense of what is to come as he gets older.

I am up all night and day with my little guy....he sleeps maybe 2-3 hrs at a time but that is only if I am holding him....something has to give here...

[jjerzeegirl]

My dd never slept through the night...always woke up once until 10 months (when I stopped nursing) Even before I stopped nursing we tried the CIO method when we put her down each night..instead of her falling asleep on the boob, and depending on that. So yes..my dh and I chose to let her cry it out. It KILLED ME! I thought we were horrible parents...BUT...after about a week..i realized it was the BEST thing we could have ever done for all of us!
Now...whenever put my dd down for a nap/bed...she can sooth herself to sleep...we are VERY lucky...and I think alot had to do with CIO.
Once they start crying...let them cry for 5 min...then go in (don't pick them up...butg remind them you are there and in the other room..rub their head etc...)
Then if still crying...wait 10 min....repeat
Then 20 min....and stop at 20....
If still crying after 20...go in again and remind them you are there..
It was VERY VERY HARD..and sometimes I gave in (esp. if she woke up at night) But the 2-3 nights that I did let her cry....it was bliss from there!

I did cave a few times...but stay strong...it was the best thing we ever did!

[courtnvk]

Letting your child "cry it out" is very difficult. When Jackson was about 3 months old, for a couple of weeks we would try and get him to nap but he would scream even if we were holding him. Nothing we did seemed to help, not being swaddled or a pacifier, ANYTHING. It got to the point where we had to let him cry it out. It usually lasted about 20 minutes of him laying in his crib alone, crying before he would fall asleep. It was so difficult to do it then, but now I think it has really helped with his sleep schedule. He is 20 months old now and has the same nap schedule everyday and sleeps through the night. It is difficult to let your little one cry but if they arent in pain or in danger, they will be ok.