Curious, back to work or stay home?

Who is going back to work after the birth of their child, who has decided to stay home and quit their job and who is undecided?  I have a great job, great money and was a working mother with my other two kids because I didn't have a choice.  Not sure if I'll have a choice with this one or not but I was just wondering is anyone else struggling about whether to return to work or not?  

[AndiJ78]

With my first, i had intended on working throughout the pregnancy and then taking the standard 12 weeks off. But at 26 weeks I went into pre term labor. We struggled on my husband's meager wage and adjusted to it. I stayed home and now three kids have been home ever since. We had some tight times but now are finally in a place where we own our home and things worked out for us.

It is a tough decision. Some can financially make it, others cannot. Even those who can financially do it can find that they are not cut out to stay at home. Many women in my life were cut from that cloth. it takes a lot of patience to be a stay at home mother and to be out of the loop from daily social interactions with co-workers. In the end, only you will know what is best for you and your family.

[rubyolivia]

I went back to work, but my baby goes with me. I work with my parents and I enjoy being there for the most part, but I'd really rather be a SAHM and a good wife that actually cooks and cleans! lol

[decogrl]

If you can I would say at least try to work part-time.  It will be really difficult but for me it was a life-saver.  Staying at home (esp if you are used to working can be REALLY difficult) and you can feel really isolated.  I work just a few days a week and it works out great.  I feel like I haven't lost my sense of self, yet still have days to play with my baby.  It is a personal decision and this is just my opinion.

[2ndBaby]

I'm trying to decide what to do.  I'm an unemployed teacher, so I'm thinking about substituting for the remainder of the year.  I go to orientation on Dec. 6.  But I don't want to leave my son with anyone else.  He will only be 2 months old.  I got to stay with my DD for 6 months before I went back to work.  Because we moved I do not have the luxury of using the same daycare provider that we employed with my DD either.  She was wonderful-my daughter loved her and I never had to worry about my DD's care.  

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I am self employed and actually had a biz call while I was in Labour and Delivery.

They were like "Sorry to bother you, but I really need your help".

My dh is home on parental leave until after Christmas and I am searching for a housekeep for then.

[Me2mommy2b]

I'm one of those "i gotta get out of the house once in a while" type of mom.  I love my daughter to death but I need to be outside of the house as well.  Good luck with whatever you decide.  It really is a personal choice.

[houseofgirls]

When I was pregnant with my first, we decided that we wanted me to become a stay at home Mom.  I worked all the way up until a week before I had her, and I haven't gone back to work since.  My dh owns his company, and does pretty good, so we are able to do it financially.  I plan on staying home for at least a few more years, since my new baby is only 3 months old.  I would like to stay home until they are in school, and then I will probably only go back to part time.  I want to be home when they get home from school, and I want to be available for them whenever they need me while they are growing up.  That being said, it is sometimes very difficult for me not to be working.  I miss it a lot, I really enjoyed my years working.  I started working straight out of high school, so it was definately a big part of my life.  I do love being a SAHM though, and wouldn't trade it for anything.

[girliegrl1723]

i have a great position in a small law firm and have been working for my boss directly for 7 years or so. i have such job security, that i feel like i'd be a fool to give it up but at the same time, i was really considering not going back to work after i had my son - it was so hard to even think about. we decided that if the cost of daycare was even close to half of what i make, i would stay home. unfortunately for me, it wasn't and our bills said that i needed to work :o( i started back 3 days a week when he was 8 weeks old and started full time when he was almost 6 months. its still hard - but i am lucky enough to personally know the director of her daycare and love where he goes everyday.

[cantwait4baby]

I went back to work after 14 weeks.  Staying at home was very different for me.  I have been working full time since I was 16.  Through high school and business school.  Then went on to my current position when I was just 19 and have been here ever since.  I have never really had time off so being home with a newborn was challenging.  I loved every second of it and even though it sounds crazy I loved the middle of the night feeding when it was just me and her in her room.  I miss those nights.  When I started work again I found that it gave me a piece of me back.  Staying at home is a wonderful opportunity but I dont think I could.  Not for financial reasons just for personal reasons.  I am the type of person that is always on the go so it gives me a few hours a day to myself.  BUT my daughter is watched by her grandparents during the day if I had to do daycare I would not be working right now.  Daycare is also great but I am just a worry wart.

Its a hard decision but staying at home or going back to work will have its challenges.  Good Luck.

[kris123]

I didn't want to go back but had to because you can't raise two kids on your own with no money.  My employer was really good about things.  I came back at 7w and brought Ryan to work every day for 2w.  Then it went to 2days a week till he was 15w.  He stay with my sister, mom, dad, and my daughter.  I don't have to take him anywhere my sister comes to my house, i live with my mom.  

[montie]

I have to say that I am really surprised by the responses I am getting to this question. I kind of expected to be bashed for even considering going back to work if I didn't have to.

Thanks so much for your responses, they have really helped me and given me a lot to think about.

[kris123]

Some of us have to go back and some like to have the break.  Maybe you can go part-time and have the best of both worlds.  My sister is a stay at home mom and she loves it.  I have friends that are not cut out to stay home because they will go crazy.  What ever is healthy for you if you have the choice.  I hated it at first but got use to going to work.  Ryan is so demanding that it is nice to have a break.  I only work part-time

[AndiJ78]

I did want to add something, being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you have to "stay at home" There are lots of groups, play dates to be had, classes to enroll in, family and friends to see, etc. i think the worst thing a person can do is to think that being a SAHM means you stay at home!

One thing I do keep myself from completely losing myself in the kids is to take courses online through our local college. I am still home with them and do my coursework when they are napping or asleep for the night. But it stimulates me mentally. I have also made a point to find an interest in things that are new to us, something new to research and learn about as a family. I also spend time on here offering support, the occasional sarcastic remark, etc. I make a point to go out and about a few times a week, Saturdays I take my oldest to the library and to run errands, etc. I had time to adjust being a SAHM before the first baby came. Once he was born I knew there was no way I could leave him and return to working outside the home. That hasn't changed with the other two boys either. I, too, started working full time at a young age and I work harder now than I ever have. For two years I was a full time college student working for my nursing degree and working full time in a nursing home as an NAC at the same time, that was demanding work. Being a stay at home mom is 10 times harder than that : )

Good luck with your decision!!

[jenstam]

Andi has a good point about being stimulated mentally. If I were to be a SAHM I would definitely have to have the classes online and get out of the house once in a while. I stayed home with my daughters until my last one was about a year old, then I went to work. So, I did it for about 8 years. With this baby, I returned at 12 weeks. I did not want to return to work but I have a good job and tend to become down when I'm at home and not feeling like I'm a part of the world. I also don't like working full time with a baby. So, the ultimate ideal situation for me would be to work part time. My job won't allow that though. ):

[ImmortalOne]

I had a really hard time going back to work.  I'm still back to work (went back around 8-9 weeks) and cannot wait till the DH gets a better job.

[houseofgirls]

I also have to say, that part of the reason it is so important for me to be a SAHM is because I was a latchkey kid at a very young age.  I just will not allow that to happen to my children.  My parents went through a divorce when I was 8 (also something that I will not let happen) and they just weren't around, so we got into a lot of things that we shouldn't have and pretty much did whatever we wanted to.  So for me, it is very important to be as involved in my children's lives as much as I can.  Not to say that you can't be involved if you are working, this is just something that I feel is important for me.