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DEATH SOUNDS GREAT RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!!!!!!
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DEATH SOUNDS GREAT RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!!!!!!

today is another one of them days were I just wish I would have never woke up I'm thinking about not takeing my meds anymore I'm still not myself and my husband thinks I'm useingm this depression as a cop out he just don't understand and that just makes it worse plus christmas I'm so ready to stop breathing I just think life isn't worth this I'm sick and tired of the same **** everyday.
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Its not the baby and ***** yes your being its the dh not baby he is fine you don't like something don't comment damn why rude bitchy people today I commented on how great lissioners you people are and how friendly BUT ***** FITS IT THATS FOR SURE I THOUGHT I COULD COME AND VENT HERE IF YOU NEVER BEEB THROUGH PND THEN YOU DON'T KNOW **** SO BACK THE **** OFF...DAMN NOW I'M EVEN MORE ANGRY THINKS TO YOU...
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Hey I would just like to say quit being selfish... i used to say that to get attention..because i felt like no one cared about me.. i was on drugs.. and blaming everyone for my problems and thought that suicide was the answer.. but.. i grew up outta that childish stage.. Id also like to say it really bothers me to hear someone say that for the simple fact i found my brother hanging from a tree after he killed himself.. You are very lucky to have a family..

I call you selfish because your only thinking about yourself when you say that.. Ever thought about what your family and friends think?? ever think about how bad it hurts them.. and what if you did do it.. ever think about what your husband and family has to go through?? YOUR SON.. Imagine how he would feel knowing about what his mother did and growing up without one???

Its a very selfish thing to say and do.. So think about it next time it rolls of your tounge.. IM not saying keep your thoughts inside.. but the forum cant help you with your problems.. so quit wasting precious time on here looking for answers that we cant help you with..the only thing we can do is what we do everytime you say it.. GO TO A DOCTOR ASAP.. go vent to a counseler.. hes the only one that can really help you.. and the only person that can really help is yourself.. You cant expect for everyone to make your problems go away and for everyone to fix them.. you have to learn how to help yourself before anyone else can help.. I really hope you take your meds and keep taking them and doing excatly what your doctor tells you to do.. I hope you do the right thing.. and I really feel sorry for what your husband and family goes through with you saying that because i know excatly how they feel.. I hope and pray that one day you will wake up and see reality.. You will be in my thoughts and prayers..

~*Chloe*~
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I guess since I am fairly newer here that I missed something
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there is no need in name calling.. grow up..
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I just wanted to say that sometimes meds need to be adjusted. The dosage, the brand, etc. You may need that. It can take awhile to adjust to the meds so give it time. Continue your current dose until you can see your doctor. If you really feel this strongly about death, please call your doctor and if s/he isn't available then get in touch with the one on call. I wish you luck. I too suffer from depression, and I have had days where I felt my meds weren't doing their job, but then again, I didn't have a picture of myself to look like without them at the same point, so maybe they were???? Make sense?    

Heather
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I NEVER SAID IWANTED TO KILL MY SELF I SAID I WISH SOMETIMES I WOULD STOP BREATHING I KNOW I WOULD NEVER KILL MYSELF BUT I'M JUST SAYING HOW I FEEL I CAN'T CONTROLL IT, ITS A CHDEMICAL IMBALANCE IN MY BODY RIGHT NOW I'M JUST HERE VENTING LIKE ALOT OF OTNHERS BUT HEY I'LL QUIT COMEING HERE MAYBE I JUST WANT SOMEONE BESIDES SOMEONE I KNOW PERSONILT TO LISSION BUT THINKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL UNWELCOMED HERE.
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Girls.  Cant we all just get along!
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I'M NOT NAME CALLING I SAID SHE WAS ACTING LIKE A ***** AND I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISSION NO ADVICE I HAVE A DOC GOR THAT.
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Im really sorry that I made you feel unwelcomed.. I just wanted you to know that what your doing is hurting your family.. I understand that we all feel that sometimes we justt wanna run away and dig themselves a hole.. I even feel that way sometimes.. But you have been on here almost every other day with the same thing.. about Death.. your hurting not just yourself but your family.. I know you didnt say you wanted to kill yourself.. but what happens when you stop breathing?? You die.. And its the same thing.. im sorry about what i said.. but ive actually had my brother kill himself.. and i found him dead.. i thought id just tell you about what my family went through.. and ive known other families that went through the same thing.. and everyone was hurt.. Im very sorry to comment on your post.. and sorry you felt offended..

~*Chloe*~
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You are welcome here.  I had a little post partum depression.  I am not sure how long you have been depressed, or why, but isn't your baby only 2 months old???  That was when it hit me.  I loved my baby to death, it was my husband that i wanted to kill :)  He really wanted me to search out some medication but i had faith that i could get back to normal on my own.  I was lucky; once the hormones leveled out about 2 months later (so baby was 4 MOnths) I felt like a new person.

I know what it feels like to be seriously depressed.  I know what you are going through.  I found that i had built a wall between my dh and I?  ONce i confided in him, by way of breakdown hee hee, he understood that telling me i am crazy or telling me i needed meds wasn't helping me.  I needed him to love me and be sweet to me.  But it is soooooo hard to break down that wall once you build it.

Am I close?

Girls--We call come here for support!  And all of us need support in different areas, so let's not judge. momttc 1:26
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Hey I'm sorry for sounding rude but one thing its been awhile since I've talked about death the last time I belive was right before I went to the hp.
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I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I tend to agree with some of the others about your posts.  You are no asking for advice about pregnancy at this point.  There are many other boards out on the net who are going through depression issues as you are.  Maybe you would have better luck asking people on those sites about your depression.  

Best of luck finding someone to talk to who may understand a little more of what you are going through, unforunately most of us are just concerned with getting pregnant, staying pregnant and other questions about child care.  If I am wrong, I apologize.  I like to get on this site and read about other's in my situation, not hear about someone who wants to die when they have a healthy child we are all hoping for.
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I think today is a bad day ...PERIOD!!!

I  have had depression problem's growing up and I thought a few months back that maybe I needed to go on a anti-depressant but then I remembered the way they made me feel. Moody and my emotions were off the wall.
I am sorry that your dh isnt understanding, maybe you need to talk to your doctor if you feel this way and he can prescribe something that will meet YOUR needs.
My dh thinks I didnt need meds for it but he doesnt know what goes on in my head and I know it can be hard.
I wish you luck.
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it seems like ur trying really hard to get attention. sorry to be such a *****, but i have read many of ur previous posts. u really need to deal with ur issues and stop being such a whinner, i mean u just had a baby, and come on u had to know it going to be hard work, so just enjoy tht cute little boy. and get real.
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Geez...having a bad day? LOL
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Melissa,

Your post could easily be misinterpreted. Please know that. You are upset right now and we understand that. Death and suicide affects people differently, hence chloe's post, and to be honest I took your post as that too and offered advice that you just posted you didn't want. I'm so confused that I'm not posting again. You post, but yet advice is not welcome? Sorry.

Heather
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Melissa, you sound like you're in pain now, and I'm very sorry.  

Have you been to Babycenter?  The website has bulletin boards, and one of them is for postpartum depression.  Maybe you would find it helpful to post there as well, since there are women there who would know just what you're going through.

http://bbs.babycenter.com/board/baby/emotrecovery/3374  

That link should take you there, but if it doesn't (I don't know if the number at the end changes daily or as posts increase), you can go to babycenter.com and go to the community bulletin boards.  Click on baby boards.  Then Mom's health and well-being.  The circle for PPD should be under there.

Good luck!
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ADVICE ISN'T WHAT I WANT OR NEED AND IF YOU LOOK UNDER THE TOPICS YOU WILL NOTICE THERE IS POST PARTUM THATS ME. I JUST WANT TO VENT HOW EVER I SEE I CAN'T HERE ANY MORE:-(..
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WHY IS IT OK FOR EVERYONE TO VENT BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ME YOU THINK I'M LOOKING FOR ADVICE I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL FRIENDS HERE AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO VENT TO FRIENDS?
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I agree with you.  I didn't hear you ask for advice? I don't know why eveyone took your post so literally, but all i can say is RUN, RUN FOR THE HILLS, because they are all coming after you :)

Sorry, I don't mean to try to be funny...it's just my nature.  HOWEVER, heather was right about the fact that most everyone here is just trying to get pregnant.  And you need someone to connect with to talk to that can listen and understand what you are going through.  That's why Christina, kck and I have become close (except for that snot kck got pregnant and we haven't yet!!!  hee hee lol) we know what each of us are feeling from day to day.

I know how you feel, i really do.  I was depressed!  Here comes the advice you hate:  but if it were me, i would be looking for someone out there that can talk with you instead of talk to you?  momttc
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Told you I would apoligize if I was wrong about anything.  I do see you are on the postpartum listing.  I guess it just freaks some people out when you talk about death.  Like I said before, I hope you can find someone to talk/vent to on this site or any other site.  I hope you start feeling better and have a great holiday with your little boy.
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Just so it's clear, that was sunshine's post about getting prego not mine. Melissa, I sent you a private email.

Thanks,
Heather
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Well, it seems as though I have just been called a snot. :)
Melissa, we do understand that you are having a rough time.  I think what everyone is getting at is that you need help from someone who is more qualified to give it to you.  Even though you came on here to vent, it is difficult to get a response without some form of advice involved.  Some of the messages did get a little out of hand, both from other people and from you.  Please do not feel unwelcome here.  Not everyone knows how to cope with a "friend" who talks about death.  Death is a very uncomfortable subject for many people.  In fact, it brings up very painful memories for some.  We have all dealt with death at some time, some of us have lost people very close to us, and coping with that is very hard.  I think many of the people on this thread (and I'm sorry to speak for you ladies) just have a hard time understanding why death seems so appealing to you when you have a beautiful baby boy to be so thankful for and to give your love to.  That's the exact result so many people here want for themselves.  For people who have not experienced severe post-partum depression, it is more difficult to understand when someone else does experience it.  Please do not feel unwelcome here, just try to understand that not everyone knows how to comfort you or help you.  We do all hope that things get better for you though.
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the thing I'm getting at if they don't understand then don't post a comment I just need someone to lission wheather they know the depression or not if they can't lission with out commenting then don't click on my forum but this is what I'm going through right now and I can't help that I feel this way I love my son more then life it self but yes its hard and if I knew why I felt like this then I wouldn't be feeling like this cus it would be fixed but I'm sorry for useing up the threads here for my problems but it is under post partum and if none likes what I have to say then don't read it.
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First of all I think most everyone is out of line.  After all this is a forum for maternal-child.  Isn't that what we all come here to discuss.  I think post partum depression is part of that, after all you don't get post partum depression unless you have just had a baby, hence the word maternal.  Melissa you can post here and I think you are welcome just like everyone else who posts.  We should not criticize on this forum or judge anyone.  Everyone has a lot of different feelings and opinions and I think this is a great group and we should all be able to share those opinions and feelings without being judged.  Melissa is having a terrible time with her Post partum depression and I think we should support her not criticize her, it seems to me like she really just wants someone to listen to her.  If you have never had Post partum depression you can't not imagine the despair that she is feeling.  It seems she is doing her best to cope with the situation and venting is another way of doing that.
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very well said and ty...
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Okay, Ive kept quiet for some time. My opinion is yes, post partem is part of pregnancy/birth HOWEVER medhelp also has a mental health board. I understand that people come here to vent their problems and whatnot but honestly, so are getting out of hand. REALLY!

Machelle'
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Oh yea, and to clarrify something, I understand where Melissa is coming from because I surffered from PPD after my first son was born. But again, there needs to be a line drawn or somewhat.
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I think maybe you misunderstood me.  I was not judging, except to say that some of the comments by Melissa and others were out of hand.  (That's just common sense)  I was merely trying to explain what I thought everyone else was trying to say.  I did not think that what I was saying was out of line in any way.  I never judged or said that she was wrong in any way to post what she did.  SO maybe you both should take another look and stop assuming that everyone is out to get melissa.  In fact, I believe that I referred to her as a "friend" of us all, I said we do understand she is going through a rough time, and I said she is not unwelcome on this forum.  So how you both determined that was negative is beyond me.  I was trying to show both sides of the situation in an unbiased to either side kind of way.  While others need to see Melissa's side, she also needs to see theirs.  Melissa, you are right to say that if they don't want to listen to you, then they shouldn't click on your forum.  It is very clear what you are going through even from the original comment at the top of the posting.  ANd now I am done venting my own issue!
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I didn't mean nothing rude to you I know you said friends I was telling everyone that not you and I'm sorry if you took it wrong.
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ty so much but I have broke down and tried talking to him but he don't understand and I don't think he wants to.
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Hey there, I can only speak for myself but maybe paople react the way they do out of helplessness. Their isnt much we can do on here to help you. We can try to talk to you but that is about the extent. Others also dont realize how real PPD really is. You should really talk to your doctor, as someone said perhaps your meds are not right for you and need adjustment. I think what also scares me anyhow is your baby. Im very concerned about your baby. And I know you love your new baby and you need to recognize you need help so that you dont hurt yourself or anyone else. Dont feel you cannot talk to people on here either, although perhaps their are better forums that can help you more. This forum most women are just focused on just trying to get pregnant. Please call your doctor as soon as you can. You owe it to yourself and that precious baby you have.. Also keep this in mind when you are very depressed and having terrible thoughts, the person you would hurt the most if you were to do something to yourself would be your baby. He would grow up wondering why mommy didnt love him enough to stick around. He would live with this his whole life. As far as your husband, erhaps he needs to talk to your doctor also, so he can understand what you are going through. Right now you need to be surrounded by supportive people....
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sorry posted so long after, just wanted to clarify I said MOST everyone not everyone.  I think your posts were very positive and supporitive and a good representation of this forum.
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