Did your husband or SO quit drinking when you were pregnant?

[jenstam]

I just made a journal about this and I'm curious. My husband is not much of a drinker at all. Just a drink or two in social situations. I am much more so than he is. I enjoy a nice drink or two after work on Fridays, go out with friends occasionally and enjoy a few cocktails and love to sip on a drink and sit out in the sun on a sunny day when I get the chance. Of course, now that I'm pregnant I'm not doing that. It wasn't hard for me at all my last pregnancy but this time around it is really getting to me! If you read my journal, we had an little incident Saturday night (well, I did). Did any of you ask your partner to abstain while you were pregnant in support of you, or didn't you care either way? Or, did your partner just choose to abstain? I'm just curious. I feel it is just supportive, since I'm having a bit of a hard time with it this time around. I know I make myself sound like a lush, but I'm really not ;) I think I always just want what I can't have! I am not going to be a control freak and I won't tell him what to do. I would just feel a lot more supported and on the same page with my husband if in social situations he could kindly pass up the alcoholic beverages. It has only happened twice in 13 weeks, so like I said, he is not really a drinker. Any thoughts or experiences with this? Am I being irrational and grumpy? (:

[mami1323]

Well when I was pregnant Richie was preparing for a body building competition and didn't really drink so it made it easy but he was hammered at my baby shower.  It was a little irritating that I couldn't enjoy myself that way but it wasn't that frequent so I didn't get that upset.

[pinkbelle]

my fiance didnt drink at all the whole time i was pregnant but then again we didnt drink that much before we were pregnant.. i think if its causing you stress then he should stop

[megmil]

I am a much bigger drinker than my husband. He only drinks a few beers now and then. I love Captain Morgan and Dr. Pepper and can drink a whole bottle in one night. When I got pregnant with my last son I was drinking so much before I got pregnant that I actually got sick when I got pregnant and had to stop. I was having withdrawals bad. It was very difficult but I never asked my husband not to drink. I really didn't care. I don't now with this baby either. I just don't like hearing about how much fun he's had when he got drunk one weekend or anything like that. It reminds me what I'm missing out on. I don't mind missing out for nine months though to have a healthy baby and I don't think he should have to miss out. Having a few beers one Saturday night after a difficult week is his release. he also has to deal with my pregnancy mood swings and getting emotional and all that. He needs a release and as long as he's not getting drunk every night it's no big deal to me.

[kele1129]

I don't drink, my husband works for a brewery...he drank a few beers here and there and all the more power to him.

[have 2 kids]

I didn't care if he drank or not.   I was thrilled to be pregnant and he was the one left out in that part of having a baby.      

[jenstam]

I think it's just the fact that this is pregnancy #6 for me. I've had a harder time this time around in general. Not physically; physically this pregnancy has been a breeze. Emotionally it has been a lot harder. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's just because I've done it so many times...I'm ready to move on and stop having babies now! I agreed to this child because Ben wanted a second child. Maybe that's where the resentment comes from? I don't know...like I said, I didn't have a problem the last time. I'll get past this. It is such a short time. He's a good guy. I should let him enjoy himself.

[melimeli]

my dh did not drink or go out to clubs the entire pg...  I wouldn't have cared if he did have a drink but he chose not to

[megmil]

Just remember it isn't that long and after the baby is born when you're feeling up to it and if you're not breastfeeding leave the baby at home with your husband and have a girls night out. When any one of my friends or myself are pregnant that's what we do. A couple months after baby is born we go out and have some fun. Just the girls. Think about doing that and focus on that fun night you'll have after baby comes that your husband won't be a part of if it really bothers you about him drinking when you can't.

[mami1323]

Maybe that is why you are so emotional, resentment.  It's so easy for them to live life and go about normal every day experiences.  We're the ones who have to change in so many ways.  Our hormones are all over, our body changes in size and shape, we feel sick sometimes, we are tired and just doing the smallest of tasks is exhausting.  I remember barely making it out to dinner because I was too tired and the thought of getting ready to go out was more than I could handle.  It's a jealousy thing and a resentment thing.  My fiance was doing, well you know what, during my pregnancy so my bitterness is very much alive but just recently he said he has so much more respect for pregnant women now because he realizes how much it took for me to deal with my pregnancy.  I wished he realized it at the time but now is better than never.  

[kellym]

I bought my DH a Kegerator for Christmas! We have cold beer flowing ALL THE TIME :0)
When he goes and fills his HUGE tervis tumbler with beer I just sigh.. It's fine if he has one, sometimes two. Then we have dinner, dessert and it's usually bath & books for kids and TV time for us. We go to my parents beach house every weekend. The boys fish and drink beer and the girls chase the kids. Sometimes I can get a bit angry if I notice he's a bit "off" but it doesn't happen often. We like to drink beer together, play the wii hang out... Now, We walk the kids & dogs, I grab an O'Douls he grabs a draft and we walk to the neighbors. They all have a beer or 2 then we come home and call it a night.  If my DH abused it I would have a FIT, but he doesn't so I'm ok with it :0)

[Tanker Chic]

I think you are taking your frustrations on him a bit.. which okay, that is what they are there for right :)

I'm in a similar situation.. i really enjoy chilling out and having a drink also... I often tease DH that befoe I got pg, I would have to beg him to have a drink with me but now that i'm pg, he cracks open a beer as soon as he gets home from work??  Like he is trying to rub it in or something :)  

It is just part of being pg... we don't get to drink and they have to deal with our mood swings.  

[AnnieBrooke]

My husband went on a diet when I was pregnant.  We got to the point (when I was at my peak weight and he had lost all he wanted, and looked like a total stud) where we were almost exactly the same weight.  I told him that if he lost one more pound, it was all over -- I did NOT want to be heavier than my husband.  Dumb as they are in retrospect, issues like this come up in pregnancy.  It sounds like this is out there for you because this pregnancy is more emotional than others -- in other words, it's more a lightning rod than a real problem in itself.  If he tosses down a beer at a party, as long as he is not standing in front of you and saying "Yum!  Yum!" I'd give him a bye.  It's tough to have an emotional, pregnant wife.  LOL    

[sstaceyy]

mine didnt. when i went in to labor with both my kids my hubby showed up to the E.R drunk both times.

[heatherlynn22]

my hubby did. i think he had 2 beers the entire time i was pregnant. any time we'd go out or do anything (even when he was in d.c. and i was here at home he wouldn't drink) he'd pass up drinks to "support" me. lol. he said whatever i couldn't do he wouldn't do (food wise...he had to pt and be on his feet of course...)

[Aydensmommy]

My husband came home with a bottle of captain last night.  

[jenstam]

Wow...lots of differing opinions. Thanks ladies. We'll see what happens this weekend camping. We have a bottle of captain at home that makes me drool everytime I look at it (: I am wondering if he will bring it with or leave it. I guess maybe I can get some O'Douls. I did the last pregnancy and it was okay. But, I also think that if he knows it bothers me and if it's really not that important to him then he should not do it in support of me and the pregnancy. It just makes it easier and I feel we are on the same page. I don't know...stupid, I guess. He's a good guy...not much of a drinker, so I guess that was why I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Oh, and I do breastfeed. Last time it was for 11 months but I had a few drinks, just gave pumped bottles if I did. It wasn't that big of a deal. I just always want to do what I can't. When I can, I pass it up often!

[becca_3456]

"He's not much of a drinker. Really never drinks unless we go out and has always drank less than me when we do. I'm not a lush or anything but I do enjoy my drinks with friends on occasion!"

Well this is my opinion but it sounds like he is not a big drinker and you said you always drink more than he does, maybe he feels now he can be the one to let loose a little more since you cant drink. Like maybe he does not have to make sure you are ok after a night of drinking and he can enjoy himself a little more?

I really never drink so no being able to drink during pregnancy is not a big deal and DH will have a beer on occasion and I did not mind at all when I was pregnant I was just happy to be having my first child:)

[GRose]

DF and I are both pretty big fans of having some drinks. I think DF would laugh in my face if I told him he couldn't drink lol he works for a brewery and has to cater special events at least twice a month, it is pretty much a given that the guys are allowed to drink on the job. He works long, hard days and deserves to kick back, after all, I am the pregnant one, not him. He doesn't stay out all night like he used to and he is home more often but he still does what he wants for the most part. Once I get closer to the end I *might* ask him to tone it down a notch just so that he isn't hammered if I go into labor in the middle of the night.