Ex-Boyfriend Update

Just a continuation from the post below.  I want everybody to know that I took him off my friend list on MySpace.  I also want to clearify I did not contact him for the what if's I just wanted to see what he was up to and to see if he every forgave me.  After I contacted him is when I start wonder about the what if's.  And that is all that it is, is wondering, not wanting to go back.  One of the things I told him in both e-mails is that I was married and had children and that I had no desire to try to get back with him.  He also has a wife and feels the same way.  I quickly updated him on the highlights of what happened to me since he moved and he did the same thing.  We have not spoken since.  Nowhere did it every come up for us to try to even see each other even as friends.  So please do not take it the wrong way and thanks for the input that everybody gave me.

[#1 girl]

I commented on your other post.  You did nothing wrong, don't stress over not so nice people with what they say.  

[*heartagram*]

There is nothing wrong with being friends with someone you knew way back. I have lots of ex's on my friends space, that's it friends that I once dated years ago. I think it's nice to keep in contact with old friends. There was this one guy though I dated way back and came across him on Myspace like 8 years later, totally innocent, asking how he was etc. I found out he was STILL hung up on me. Now that was really strange, needless to say I blocked and deleted him, why? Because he has 2 children and a girlfriend.

[Sashasmama]

I hope you read my comment on your other post.  Good job girl!  That's what I did.  Everyone wonders once in a while and if they say they don't THEY ARE LYING.  Don't let anything that everyone said get to you, like I said on your other thread.  People can be judgemental, I think we all know that by now...it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes, unless you've been through the same thing, and I have.  I know exactly how you feel, nothing to be ashamed of, trust me!  Who cares anyway, right?  It's your life, like I said, you know what's best for you, and people's opinions can't change that.

[AndiJ78]

I think it is interesting you will accuse others of passing judgment in the same breath as accusing them of lying because we have not felt the need to disrespect our husbands and go looking up old flames thinking they were the "one that got away." And despite what she wrote here, in the other post she said she ALWAYS wondered if he was the one who got away, not as a result of looking him up.

Amazing, criticize others for giving their honest opinion and calling them liars because they maintain a sense of loyalty to their spouses. I can honestly say I have never wondered about my ex's, again they are my ex for a reason. I know I am with the love of my life and my true partner. I think if you feel fullfilled in your relationship, you don't wonder about the past.

[Sashasmama]

Well that probably means that you are one of the only few who are in a perfect relationship.  I never mentioned any names, so I don't understand why you thought I was addressing you.

[Sashasmama]

This is dumb.  I don't think talking to a man and telling him you are married, and him telling you about his life is in any way not maintaining loyalty to your spouse.  I wasn't saying that it's ok to go flirt with a guy on myspace, she did say that she told him about her family.  That's what I told my ex when I talked to him on myspace, I didn't hold back the fact that I have a family now.  And just because a wondering thought crosses your mind when things aren't as smooth as they could be ( probably of all the **** you've been going through) doesn't mean you are not fullfilled in your relationship.  Please don't tell me that you've NEVER fought before and got so mad at your husband that you wanted to leave him, only to work it out later.

[molley21]

I'm with you on this...the past is the past, it should be left there.

[AndiJ78]

It becomes obvious when you start lumping members into a group because we don't see that what she did was right. Again, there is a difference in saying a casual "Hi" or wondering what someone has been up to, the hitch in all of this was "the one that got away" that lends itself to something more than a passing curiousity. I am happy she has opted to drop the conversations with him, nothing but heartache will come from that.

No relationship is perfect, unless you consider me not ever wondering about my ex's or respecting my husband enough not to go trolling for ex's perfect. Than maybe I am in a perfect marriage. I have been under tremendous amounts of stress in my life, but that doesn't make wonder if the grass is greener anywhere else. That encourages me to lean on my spouse for support, not someone else.

Anyway, she has made her peace with it.

[tmv]

I have to disagree with you. I believe that the majority of woman look to the future instead of being caught up in the past. I don't know your age, maybe I'm just around a more mature group of people. (no criticising intended, it's just some things change with age and maturity is usually one of them). Of course we've all had fights or disagreements, but that doesn't mean you want to leave the person you're commited to. That is an immature thought process. Get away from them until you cool down and talk is what works the best for both sexes.