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Friend Lost Baby at 21 Weeks...
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Friend Lost Baby at 21 Weeks...

hello...  I have posted on here from time to time... we had a loss back in Feb of this year (which was our second loss)- it was very early term...  I am now 11 weeks pregnant and we've seen the baby and heard the heart beat, which is great-  the heart rate was around 150...  I am so excited about it-  we actually have a 2 year old as well...  

anyway... a friend of mine was expecting, she was about 21 weeks... last wednesday she had some bleeding and on Saturday they found out the baby had died.  She delivered the baby last night about midnight, it was a girl, they named her Hope.  I am writing to ask two things...  first, that you would remember my friend in your prayers... she has a 6 year old and wanted this baby so much....  

Also, I am struggling with, first not worrying about what happened... I know that is selfish, it is just hard to see someone go though this and hope and pray that it doesn't happen to us, which makes me feel guilty-  they don't know yet what happened... but I am worried about contacting her and how it will make her feel if she were to hear from me...  we are not close friends, but we know each other well enough...  should I keep my distance for a while?  I know it would be hard for me to see a pregnant friend after a loss like this...  how horrible, I feel so sad for them...  any advise would be great...  have any of you known someone who lost a baby this far along?
Tags: Baby, maternal
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4 Comments Post a Comment
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210400_tn?1325384170
First of all I will keep your friend and you (and your baby) in my prayers. Second I don't think it is at all selfish of you to worry about your baby. But I do think you should go see her, it doesn't matter that you are pregnant she needs to know that you support her.

I had a distant cousin that lost her baby at 39 weeks, she felt the baby and then one day just didn't. She went to the doc after a day and it was too late, the babies cord was tied in a knot.

I wish you both nothing but the best. Congrats on your pregnancy!
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164559_tn?1233711618
I am sending up a prayer for your friend as I type this.

I would find a beautiful sympathy card and send it to her along with a personal note.  If you live close enough, perhaps you can take a casserole or pot of soup.  I know that was a huge help for me when my friends did that after my losses.

Let her know that you are sharing her grief.  One of my friends and I were due on the same day and when I lost my baby she was wonderful.  Sent loving notes, food, flowers.  She kept her distance as she instinctively knew how my heart ached to see her big belly.  She waited until I was ready to hold her baby (took two months after the baby's birth).  She was great.  She is sharing my joy as I await the birth of my dd in August.
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Avatar_n_tn
your friend will be happy for you and wish you all the luck in the world, and she can still concieve (conceive). I was worried that my daughter who had lost her baby wouldn't be happy for me but she is very excited. also had others at work her were pregnant and didn't know how to talk to me about losing my grandson, I told them I was very happy for them and not to stress out.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi there, dont feel lonely, 2yrs ago, me and my sister in law were pregant at the same time, she was due excatly 5 days before me, well i had to carry mine over 11 days, well for some reason all through her pregancie she didnt get very big at all, speaking she is very tiny anyways, but she just never really looked like she was gonna have a baby inless you knew she was, well all through out her term, they told her baby was fine, and healthly well then her due date came, and the doctor said she wanted her too carry her another week, well that week went by and nothing happen soo they induce her, the day before they induce me, but right before they done that, they told her that something was wrong with the baby, and there was no heartbeat up intill that day, so they took it, and when the baby came out, lets just say its nothing you wanna see, it didnt even look like a baby, it was really bad deformed, and they said looked really bad, she didnt even get too see the baby, because my brother didnt want her too see it like that,they still dont know what happen up intill this day, but i went on and had a healthly little boy liked she should of had, and when i came home, she was at my moms house, and i ask her if she wanted to hold logan, boy was that the biggest mistake ive ever made, and you know it didnt hit me like that, and i still fill bad intill this day, she gave me the evilest look, like i was rubbing iti n her face or something, just recently she started talking too me aggain, and it hurts my brother soo bad, but its not like i did it too be mean, you know its hard,,i hope things get better for her, my sister in law is still tryin to have another one, they havnt touched the baby room, its like it was the day he should of came home. and here i am now pregant again and i feel soo bad for her...well tell her my prayers are with her..Christina
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