Frustrated with Feeding

My son is almost 4 months old and he gets his last bottle between 10:30 pm and 11 pm.  Lately, he's been giving me problems finishing his bottle.  My son is a lazy sucker, he always falls asleep on the bottle.  I've been using wet wipes to keep him up just to finish it.  We even changed his nipple to level 2 because it was taking an hour to get him to finish.  He seems to drink this one faster but still winds up falling asleep.  My problem now is lately he doesn't want to eat, he will push the bottle away with his tongue.  Then he cries bloody murder and I can't do anything to calm him down.  I'm getting to the point where I just lay him in his crib and let him cry for like 10 minutes then try again to comfort him.  I know that if he doesn't finish that bottle he will be up in the middle of the night hungry and I'm trying to get him back on track with sleeping through the night.  Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get him to finish his last bottle?  Or perhaps some opinions on what might the problem be?  I'm about to pull out my hair in frustration.

[GNicole]

Avery still sometimes falls asleep during her bottle before bed, but if I move the bottle around she will start drinking again.(she will have her eyes closed like she is sleeping but she will keep drinking). The only way I can get her to bed without crying is giving her a bottle and then she falls aleep-it is a bad habit that I don't know how to break.

[hopefulmommie]

Hey girl, I just wrote you a private message and then I saw your post. I wrote some tips to get him to wake up and suck, so maybe those will help I don't know if you have tried those or not. Do you think Jayden might be in pain? Maybe gas or something? I know my little guy pushes his bottle away sometimes, so I just wait and try again in like 15 minutes or so and he usually takes it. Maybe you should try adding a few more ounces to his day time bottles and see if that helps. I know its fustrating, but babies can always feel your fustration and he might feed off that. When I get fustrated, I take a deep breathe and start singing to Jayden, I try to turn a negative into a postive and he loves my singing lol  =)

[mami1323]

I wish he would close his eyes and keep drinking but often more times than none, he knocks completely out.  I've moved the bottle in every direction in his mouth and still he won't wake.  The wet wipes work somewhat but even those eventually he ignores.  I don't know what to do.  Maybe Avery is still hungry, or do you feel like it's just a soothing mechanism now?

[mami1323]

Yeah I've tried almost everything, expect the ear thing.  I know he senses my frustration and that may be why he's crying.  He knows mommy is upset.  The other night I was in tears trying to get him to sleep.  I'm just exhausted with working 9 hours and coming home to take care of him all by myself.  It would be so simple if he would just eat, fall asleep and that would be that.  Since it's become so challenging I feel like I'm falling apart emotionally.

[GNicole]

I think the bottle is her comfort mechanism now. Most people would say by 10 months she should be able to fall asleep on her own but she will just scream if I lay her down. I don't think she is hungry because she will finish the whole bottle. She just needs "her bottle" to fall asleep. Like I said I started a bad habit. In the beginning (actually the first 4 months) I was desperate to just have her fall asleep. She would only sleep 2 hours at a time for the first 4 months!  

[Crritter]

I know it's tough.  Cameron will be 1 the end of his month and just now has begun to sleep through the night.  He goes down around 10:30 or 11 too, that way he will sleep through and not be up for the day at 4 am.  When he dozes like that I would jiggle the bottle a little or nuzzle him a little bit.  Just gently to not wake him abruptly.  Maybe try burping him if he screams, maybe he's got a bubble like someone suggested and he doesn't want to eat when it's there.  Cam would do that too.  Now I just cuddle him and rock him to get him to sleep.  I hate to put him down awake since he finally began to sleep for me.  It's rough and at 4 months your little one is still pretty little to sleep through the night, things like growth spurts and teething will throw your pattern off too.  I hope it gets better, it's hard to work all day and be up most of the night.  I am thankful to get past the cold and flu season.  I have had almost nonstop sick kids and understand how tough it is to go to work on a couple hours of interrupted sleep, did it for almost a year.  It gets better though, just keep hugging your little one, you are doing everything right.

[mami1323]

I could see how you would turn to the bottle, geesh I would of to probably if he only slept 2 hours at a time.  You must have been desperate.  I wonder if there is anyway to wean her from that.  I know it seems cruel but have you tried the CIO method.  I know that she's probably at the age where it's ok to try it.  

[mami1323]

Thank you for the support.  My fiance just doesn't get how frustrating it is.  He doesn't get home until after midnight sometimes and I have already dealt with the tantrum so he doesn't see how bad and exhausting it is.  I think I'm just spoiled since my son started sleeping through the night when he was 2 months old.  Whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night I get thrown because I'm used to sleeping straight through.  I know all the mothers who haven't had that must be like "shut up" and that I should be grateful for only waking up once in the night at most.  I don't mind the getting up with him too much, I just hate having him go to sleep crying like that.  

[houseofgirls]

Maybe 10:30 or 11 is too late for him now.  Maybe he really is to tired at that time to take a full bottle.  Have you tried giving him his last bottle a little earlier, like at around 9:30 or 10?  That might be something to consider.  I know my 7 month old will get really cranky if I keep her up much past 8 pm, and that started at around 4 or 5 months old.  

[Crritter]

The above poster could be right, maybe your little one is too tired.  I know I had 2 colicky babies, but even now Cam is starting to sleep through the night the last 2 weeks and it was rough last night when he woke up.  You get used to that sleep and it's hard to lose it.  My husband doesn't get up with the kids so he never got the frustration either.  Maybe try feeding a little earlier, I can't handle my boys crying at night either.  Hang in there, get some sleep!

[wonderme]

I agree...to try feeding a little earlier and putting him down...baby's needs constantly change.  Also, does whoever watches him during the day let you know how much he has eaten?  Perhaps if he gets a little more during the day (or maybe he already is) he won't need so much right before bed...I know I would think to give more right before bed so baby would sleep longer, but I read this somewhere and tried it with my older two when they were about this age and it worked.  More calories during the day and it sustains them for the night.

So maybe try feeding and putting him down a little earlier...see how late he sleeps (does he get up at 3 in the morning?) and then adjust.  You may then want to feed him at 9 and then wake him and top him off around 11-11:30 so that he sleeps 'til 5-6.  Two other quick comments...I also read that once a baby is 11 lbs they are capable of sleeping through the night -- but sleeping through the night means 4, 5 or 6 hours -- not 8 or 9.  Although some babies can.  Secondly, if he wakes up in the middle of the night, are you sure it's b/c he's hungry or does he just want to know that you're still there?  Have you tried giving him a pat and maybe a binky (if you use one) to soothe him back to sleep?  I agree that some of it is a learned response.

Good luck...and get some rest!

[mami1323]

He gets cranky and falls asleep in his swing or sometimes his crib around 9 pm.  Then I wake him at 10:30 pm to change him into his sleeper or to give him a bath.  Give him a bottle at 11 pm and he will usually sleep until around 5 am or sometimes I get lucky and he sleeps all the way until 7 am.  When he wakes at 5 am I usually give him the bobo and bring him into my bed with me, while my fiance gets up to go to work and my son will usually sleep until around the time I get up for work, which is 7 am.  He only will sleep that long if I get him to finish the 11 pm bottle.  I once let him sleep since 9 pm and he woke up at 12:30 am for a feeding.  I hated it because I had just settled into bed for an hour and then he woke up.  Then he will sleep from 12:30 until 6 am.  

My mom is with him during the day and she struggles with feeding him as well.  He is such a picky eater.  He falls asleep on her throughout the day, so it's difficult to get him to eat the entire bottle.  What keeps happening is that he will eat 3 oz. here, 3 oz. there.  He's always eating because he never finishes an entire bottle.

I would love to rest.  My fiance works a whacky schedule so he's no help.  He wakes at 5:30 am, works until maybe 9 or 10 am, comes home, takes a nap for a couple of hours and then heads out back to work at 1 pm and doesn't come home until sometimes 11:30 pm or after midnight.  He's a personal trainer so unfortunately those are his hours.  He also works Saturdays from 9 am to 2 pm, so he can't help me on the weekend either.  The only day I get help is Sunday, he will take him and let me sleep in but that's only if he gets up.  I swear he could sleep through bombs going off.  He doesn't even hear the baby cry.

[GNicole]

I have tried letting her cry it out and sometimes she will go to sleep and sometimes she will cry forever. I was desperate and soooo tired when she would only sleep 2 hours at a time. My husband also works alot so I feel like I never get a break either. He helps alot when he is home but he travels 3-4 days a week.

[mami1323]

Wow, that is rough also.  It's hard not getting that extra help.  I guess she will eventually wean herself off of that bottle.  Maybe the pediatrician can recommend a good way of getting her to sleep without that comfort of the bottle.

[GNicole]

Either she will wean herself off or she will be the only girl in kindergarten with a bottle. LOL

[girliegrl1723]

edward is 14 months and still goes down with a bottle. i created a monster with that bad habit also. it is possible to get him to sleep without it, im sure, but as a working mother myself, i do what works. and this does. since he turned a year, he magically began sleeping through the night, but for this past week (teeth). im not sure what i will do to change this routine, i can't being myself to start trying yet. he drinks out of sippy cups fine all day long, the bottle is his comfort. doesnt matter whats in it, milk, water, or even empty (j/k). but, i feel ya, im there too.

mami - i think i agree with the others that maybe your little guy is in need of a little change in his schedule. i know its easier said than done, as im sure by now, you've also adjusted to this schedule, but he may need to go down earlier, like that 9:00 fussy time and sleep less during the day. try maybe giving him a bath and nightime routine starting around 8 or so and giving him his last bottle at 9:00 for a few days. you may be getting up at 12:30 or whatever with him, and even though that will be tough on you, you can see if he is consistently getting up at the same times every nite and try to adjust his feeding/sleeping during the day accordingly. i say "try" b/c i know it may not happen. i know its not easy. edward sisnt leep through the night a day in his life until he was a year old, although as he got older, it did get progressively better. have you started any solids? at 4 months, you can talk to your dr. about that, maybe that will keep his belly more full during the nite. good luck! i know how you feel, i've been there!

[mami1323]

GNicole and girliegrl - one of my friend's sons is a little over 1 years old and still takes his bottle at night also.  I think this is very typical.  

girliegrl - See it's strange, when he sleeps more during the day he's a better sleeper at night.  When he sleeps less he's overtired and is more difficult to get to sleep and he wakes up more frequently.  I will try changing it up a bit and see what happens.  I spoke to his ped and he said he doesn't want me starting solids until he is 6 months old.  My son isn't the size of a normal 4 month old.  He's 16 lbs and he looks 6 months.  I guess his digestive system still isn't mature enough?  I don't know.  I know that cereal constipates babies, I think he may be able to handle it though.  

[girliegrl1723]

ohhh i see. well that makes sense (about overtiredness). it makes sense about the solids too. follow you drs. advice. i hope you can work out the sleep arrangement soon. take alot of naps this weekend! :o)

[jbrooks39]

when my son was 7 months,i started getting him on a routine,i would give him 5 oz of formula,and a small bowl of rice cereal,after his bath,i would give him a bath at 7;00 pm lotion rub down,and feed him his cereal and bottle nad he would sleep from 9:00 pm to 7am.maybe he needs solids in his tummy.

[jbrooks39]

i meant 4 months not 7.

[mami1323]

I'm really contemplating giving him the solids.  I have to admit I tried at an earlier age to give him some cereal in his milk.  It was really horrible.  He had trouble going to the bathroom and he would cry.  I stopped giving it to him.  I'm sure his digestive system is a little stronger now, I just get nervous about it.

[Crritter]

I do have to say, my first son was over 10 lbs. at birth and was no way ready to sleep through the night at 11 lbs.   I would not gage the night sleepings on baby's age or size, some kiddos are smaller and sleep well, some are bigger and sleep well, some just don't sleep.  I have 2 that need less sleep.  Cameron at 11 & 1/2 months is finally sleeping through the night, but I guess he was sleeping till 2 then 4, now it's pushed back till about 6.  He eats a ton in the evening and it helps, but even when we added solids, didn't do that miracle for sleep as it does for so many others here.  I never let mine cry it out as they are growing so much and go through spurts where they need more.  Cam is eating like a horse now, eats more than his 4 yr old brother, but that isn't usually the case.  You will find a rhythym that works for you both.  I can understand topping the tank, I had tried it too, but it's hard to pick the time for babies, Cameron didn't do well either with the times I tried and we finally had to give up and go with the 2 am feedings.  At 4 months he was eating every 2 hours at night still, but around 5 months it slowly backed up and we began to get more rest.  Talk to your ped too before you do any solids.  I would personally also wait on the cry it out method for a few more months, as they are so little it's the only way for them to communicate and your little one may be upset and need comfort.  I'd be cranky too if I had someone waking me up to eat, although I have done it too, and it worked great with Carson.  Hang in there and try backing up the feeding, or feed a little more before bed and see how your little one does at night.  In a few months this will all be a memory...

[mami1323]

Thanks Crriter.  Well last night I fed him 6 oz. at 8 pm, he fell asleep around 9 pm.  I put him in bed because I was going to try and let him sleep until he woke up since I wanted to try something different and not wake him to feed.  Well he woke up on his own at 10:30 pm, I got him changed into PJ's, and kept him up for a good half hour to make sure he was fully awake.  Well I fed him at 11 pm, trying for another 6 oz. and he fell asleep right away again.  I would wake him and at first he was fine about it and would just start sucking again.  Then as time went on because he would only suck a little, he would get p*ssed off when I would wake him and through a tantrum.  I got him to finish 4 oz. and put him to bed.  He slept well though, he didn't wake until 5:30 am, I fed him, he slept until 7:30 am, started fussing, so my fiance left for work and put the baby in bed with me.  He slept until 8:30 am, I gave him another couple of oz. and he slept for another hour.  So overall, it wasn't a bad night.  It's just such a struggle to get him to drink that last bottle.  

[peekawho]

It could be that he doesn't need a lot of formula in his stomach so late at night.  Perhaps he's waking during the night with a tummy ache lately.

My only advice is to give him that last bottle, only drinking as much as HE wants, then lay him gently in bed.  If he gets up in the night, he gets up.  I hear you are frustrated, but generally, babies can only communicate through their cries.   If he's crying, he needs something.

I don't have much else I can say about it.  I don't agree with putting babies down with bottles, as some here do.  My mother did that with me, and I spent most of  my childhood having dental work, and later years and years of braces.   She may have gotten a nice nights sleep, but I paid for it in the end.  

Hang in there.  They are babies for such little time, cherish every night time opportunity to love, comfort, and sustain your baby, physically and emotionally.

[pertykitty]

my daughter is breastfed not bottle but she likes to eat some here and some there too.  she might eat for 20 min here and there but lately likes to "snack".  i dont work outside the home, but i have 2 kids and dh isnt around right now due to work so i hear your frustration.  when i feel so frustrated i lay in bed with her and she coos and smiles and it makes it all worth every sleepless minute lol.  id discuss this with your dr, maybe pushing the food on him isnt a great idea, i could be wrong but it seems it could teach them bad eating habits even at this young age.  hang in there, it gets easier.

[mami1323]

Last night I tried just feeding him what he wanted and letting him fall asleep.  Instead of trying to keep him up to finish his bottle.  He woke up around 4 am, I left him to fuss a little like my pediatrician said and all he did was talk really loudly.  I couldn't help but wake up and laugh.  I knew my fiance was getting annoyed but I thought it was cute.  So I got up, gave him his bobo, and he slept for another 45 minutes.  Then I gave in and fed him since I figured he was starving and he was.  He destroyed 6 oz in matter of 15 minutes.  I put him back to sleep and he was good.  He slept the same amount that he does if I give him the entire amount versus only the 3 oz that he was able to finish.  I figure I will just let him be.  Thanks for everyone's advice.  It was helpful to try new things.

[Crritter]

Glad to hear you had a better night.  I found it was always best to let the little one decide when and how much to eat.  It's much less struggle and even if you have to get up, it's still easier in the the long run.  I agree with Peek on the whole bed with a bottle thing.  I always worried about choking too, when they doze off they let the milk pool in their mouths.  I still feel guilty giving Cam a bottle before bed, I brush his teeth, but he usually dozes after the last bottle, so we are working on eating a little earlier so I can get one last brush in.  In time you will miss the late night feedings and getting to cuddle in the quiet of the house.  I kinda do, even though it hasn't been that long for me.  Hang in there, in a matter of months this will probably be just a memory!