Getting depressed, ladies I need your kind words :(:(:(

I'm getting so depressed.  My milk is drying up for some reason.  I'm so upset with all this.  I'm doing everything possible to keep the supply going, pumping, taking fenugreek and drinking the tea.  What the heck's going on?  DD will be 5 on saturday and I was hoping that I'll breastfeed her until she's 1.  I don't think that I'll be even able to do it till she's 6 months.  I don't understand why I'm so upset but I could really cry.  I feel guilty for some reason.  As if I'm doing something terribly wrong by switching her to formula.  I need your kind words...

[ma2isiah]

Have you tried Reglan? You have to get a prescription for it but it allowed my two good friends to make it to one year!  And if that doesn't work then it sounds like you have tried everything you can and you should be PROUD to have made it 5 monthes.

[Mommy71]

I agree.  Your daughter is lucky that you nursed her for five months.  It is a sad time when you can no longer nurse (I'm going through it too with my son).  Many moms don't nurse longer than a few weeks, many don't try at all.  You have established a wonderful bond with your daughter through nursing her.  You did your best and you absolutely should be proud.

[Me2mommy2b]

I heard that Reglan has pretty bad side effects (neurologic) so I would be scared to even try it.

[1twinmom]

Hi,
I've been there but I was only able to breastfeed for two weeks with both of my sets of twins. I had bad post partum depression and had to go on medication. I felt especially bad this last time because my girls were preemies (28 weeks) and I knew that my breastmilk is what was best for them. Luckily the Neo-Natal IntensiveCare Unit facility they were in had donor milk while they were there for 12 weeks but then they went to formula once they were home. They are the healthiest and chunkiest little girls now! A lot of guilt goes with stopping breastfeeding but your baby will be perfectly fine!!!!!!!!!!! You've given her all that you can give and that's all any of us can do. Try to relax and give yourself a break. You're a great mom to be worried but she'll be fine. Think of those who adopt and those babies do great on formula.

[Me2mommy2b]

hi, i know that my milk is drying up b/c when i pump, i don't get more than 2 oz from both breasts (when it used to be at least 5).  plus, dd is not happy after feeding so i give her formula and she can eat 5 oz of that.  that alone tells me that she got very little from the breast.  

[ImmortalOne]

Is this your first child?  I had a hard time breastfeeding after 3 months with my first and 5 months with my 2nd, I hope to be able to do it longer with this one.  Hang in there, what will happen will happen for a reason.  I know how hard and disappointing it is.

[ma2isiah]

I would ask your doctor about the side effects.  My friends doctor stated that depression and being tired were possible side effects.  Both my friends felt tired in the beginning when they were taking it, but it was worth it to keep breastfeeding.  Good luck with whatever you decide!

[decogrl]

Be proud of yourself!  You have been doing it for 5 months.  I had to quit after only 2--imagine how devastating that was for me.  I discovered too that the more stressed you are the less your milk supply.  

I went to extremes to keep my supply up and tried everything on the market but what it came down to was that DD lost interest and quickly learned that being bottlefed was a whole lot less work for her.  

I finally realized I am NOT a bad mother and that the baby doesn't care how she gets milk as long as she is fed.  What is important is that the baby gets love and does not take in your stress---they can sense the stress BELIEVE ME!

Try to relax and if it doesn't happen, it is not the end of the world....I think part of the problem is all of the breastfeeding NAZIS out there who put the guilt trip on us who no longer can.

Enjoy your little one....she is so precious and will grow up way too fast!

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Don't sweat this at all.  If you need to stop nursing, you have given your baby a wonderful start.  It does not make you a bad mother.

I lost my milk at 5 months with my first as well.  I was VERY thin, less than 90 pounds, I normally weighed 113-115.  (This was in my 20's, I carry more weight now).  With my second I did not have the severe weight loss and I nursed him for 17 months.

You are a loving concerned mama, that is the most important thing.

[cutiemama]

Why do you think your DD's not getting enough or that your milk is drying up? I know I don't produce ebough milk for my DD because she will start to cry after she's nursed for a long time and I know she's still hungry so I end up topping her up with some formula. I have the same guilt issues as you about stopping to BF and would like to BF my DD until she's 1 too so that's why we're just supplementing w/formula. Hopefully a bottle or 2 a day will do the trick and both you and DD will be happy.  

[Me2mommy2b]

thank your everyone for your comments.  i'm not going to give up that easily.  i'll continue to breastfeed.  if dd doesn't get breast milk 100% of the time but 25%, it's better than nothing.  i'll contact LLL and ask them how i can relactate.  

[fearfactor]

Don't let stereotypes make you feel you're a bad mother.  I didn't nurse either of my children - the first time I didn't get milk and the second I couldn't nurse because of medication I have to take for a serious health problem which would pass through milk to the baby.  So many people have attempted to "guilt trip" me, from the nurse in the hospital to my current daycare provider.  No wonder so many new mothers are depressed!  If you chose to nurse, then that was a good choice FOR YOU.  Both of my children were formula-fed and are perfectly healthy.  My five year old is in the gifted program at her school and has an extremely high IQ.  Breast-feeding is not the end-all be-all it is cracked up to be by so many.  You made your choice to nurse, did it for as long as you could, and that is great for you so don't feel bad.

[Me2mommy2b]

My DH's niece was also formula fed and a very, very bright girl.  I completely understand what you're telling me and in the heart of hearts I do feel that it's not the end of the world by I guess being a mother is not easy as I always feel guilty for doing something that is not the

[Me2mommy2b]

that is not the BEST for my child.  Oh, well, like I said, I will keep trying but if I get tired of getting upset about the whole experience, I'll just stop and go out with DH for SUSHI AND BEER...Yum, I've been missing them since I got pregnant :):):)

[DollChina]

Don't be depressed.  I meant to tell you that it didn't start working for me until now.  I have to take the maximum dosage of the funugreek and DESTRESS about it.  
My backup plan is to give Gavin as much breast milk as I can then give him 2-3 oz of formula after I nurse him to see if he really wants more.  Maybe your body is just adjusting to your baby's need.
If all else fail, PLEASE BE PROUD!  I am right here with you!
Dolly

[cutiemama]

Pumping is usually not as successful in getting the milk out as well as DD can so just because you can only pump out 2 oz doesn't mean that DD is only getting 2 oz.

You've got the right attitude though that some breastmilk is better than nothing. It's almost a vicious cycle though is what I've found because I often think if I didn't top her up, then I may produce enough to satisfy her but if I don't top her up with formula, then she'lll cry bloody murder because she's starving. It's a tough call but go with your gut. The system of topping up with formula a few times a day works for us great.  

[AndiJ78]

i agree, bravo for making it five months. But if you are really wanting to make it the full year (it sounds like you have already resigned yourself to stopping and celebrating with a beer and sushi) stop using the pump you are using, get a good hospital grade one and resume nursing on demand if possible.

Once formula is added it starts to diminish your supply, even if it is at the end of a feeding. This is perhaps the most common reason people stop or don't pick up nursing is that they falsely believe they are not producing enough milk, start supplementing and then lose their supply. Our bodies do a wonderful job at providing nourishment for our babies, but it takes work and patience.

But if you are ready to wean, go for it. But know that with some work it should be possible to continue nursing throughout that first year if you are ready to toss the pump and let nature work the way it was intended. Babies are much more effecient at getting milk and maintaining a supply than any pump on the market.

Good luck with your decision, I have a feeling it will not be easy no matter what you decide ; )

Andrea

[mum2beagain]

Please, please don't be so hard on yourself 5 months is a fantastic acheivement. Yes we hear 'breast is best' all the time but not if mommy is depressed, tired and baby is screaming hungry. Stop worrying about what you are pumping, you may just be pumping less because your baby is eating more. Look at the signs you DD is giving you; nurse her until she has taken as much as she can from you and your breasts are empty and burp her, give her 10 minutes or so to see if she is full, distract her to keep her occupied (my son just wants to feed feed feed and will eat too much and be sick, sometimes he needs ten minutes to realise he is full!) If she is still hungry after 10 minutes give her an ounce or two of formula. You may need to feed her a little more frequently on the breast to increase your supply too.
I am currently seven weeks into breastfeeding my second son and so far so good, things didn't go quite as well with my first, he was a preemie, didn't latch well and was just a poor eater, my milk dried up with him after a few weeks and I tried pumping, more nursing etc etc but it wasn't to be. I felt guilty for months afterwards but he was a much more content baby after I switched to formula and my stress levels lowered considerably. Do what is best for you and DD and try not to feel guilty (hard I know!).Good luck!

[twiceadopt]

i adopted my oldest at about 7 mo and she was entirely formula fed from that point on (before that, she was on kefir, a yogurty drink, only). my advice with formula is find something she tolerates... there are several different types available now. regular enfamil or similac may not do it, talk to your pediatrician about what types may work best for you if the old standbys cause any stomach upset. 7 yrs ago there wasnt much else available, wish there had been. good luck!