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Got a question - single parents and all
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Got a question - single parents and all

Ok, I got a daughter who is 12 and a son who is 6months old.  With my job and child support I bring home about $3200 a month.  I live at my mom's and all three of us share a room (small)  Kala sleeps in the living room and me and ryan in the bed room.  I found a house right down the street for 900 a month.  I can do it but I need the child support - if not I will not make it.  It has been paid every day for the last 2 and a half years and ryan's daddy is giving me monthly payments in starting in Jan.  Problem - I told the lady I wanted to pay $875 but now she said they will take 900 when they agreed to 875.  Don't get me wrong 900 for this townhome is great.  It has two bedrooms and is very very nice and clean.  the added 25 would have me cut an investment that I get taken out of my check which is really no big deal.  i feel like this is my chance to fianlly be on my own.  a friend is giving me the 1800 to get in i have to pay it back - so it is either live on my and stuggle a bit or stay with my parents which is so so hard.  I want to be on my own for once i am 30 and never been on my own
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18 Comments Post a Comment
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201326_tn?1234208291
I think you should go for it! If you budget your money and stick to it you can do it.
It will make you feel so much better. Your kids will be happy to have a home with you! Good luck!**hugs
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Avatar_f_tn
Get out while you can.
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172023_tn?1334675884
I encourage you to get out on your own, but always be aware that some fathers stop paying child support.  If its being taken out of their check...well, sometimes they "lose" their job.  Be sure you can afford this apartment.  

I'm excited for you!
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167_tn?1374177417
Kris, this happened to me. I received child support for four years and then he just up and quit his job a year ago, leaving me to scramble with a thousand bucks less per month. We are making ends meet, but it has been very hard. I never thought he would do that to me. He still doesn't have a job. But, I do encourage you to get out on your own also. Just make sure you have a plan if child support stops coming in. I think you would find it so rewarding to have your own place and be handling things on your own. Good luck!
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142722_tn?1281537216
I need the child support without it it will not work so should I stay at home with my parents?
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142722_tn?1281537216
I can't afford it on my own i need the child support with out it will not work.  I have 8000 saved the other option is to stay at home and deal with it pay my bills off and just hope that someday I will get out i am having such a hard time with living at mom's  Kala is 12 and her father has paid child support all her life so far - it really is a faith thing in both of them that I would do it.  I am stuck.  I am just so unhappy there.  My daughter is having a hard time dealing with my mother and father as well as I but there she can get clothes so what do you do
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Avatar_f_tn
You should check into other resources.Alot of churches will help single parents.There is also WIC programs which help alot in taking some of the food burden off of you they always cover Mommies and young babies. Deparment of human resources will also help pay rent..bills etc especially if you are working.They will sometimes front you funds. I would suggest calling WIC in your town and they will help you get the ball rolling on all that.Im just now out in my own appartent  after a horrible marriage.I wish you and your babies all the luck in the world. I have a new motto Nothing to fear but fear itself
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142722_tn?1281537216
I am on WIC and my sister watches the baby and i could get help paying daycare but she is afaid she will lose her help I told her it wouldn't but I would have her watch him before anyone else and she only charges 125 a week i am planning to wk over time a couple of hours and that is 30 a hour.  I make 20 an hour so there goes most of government help.  My sis would wk with me i have helped her and my mother with money many times.  I do fear lots of stuff but prayed about this and God has given me this opptun. to get out.  So I go in faith in God too!!  My mother is so hard on me mind.  She is always telling me how bad I turned out and how I will never amount to anything and I am back at home and without her I would be nothing.
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Avatar_f_tn
Couldn't you find a nice apartment for $500 or $600 a month??  That would free up some cash to save so that you could have an emergency fund if something happens with the child support.  Just an idea.
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142722_tn?1281537216
900 is the lowest in my area - i am lucky I found that.  I have 4500 and another 4000 in tax money coming.  By Feb. of next year I will have about 8000 total
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142722_tn?1281537216
She is so so bitter and always tells me what I did wrong and blah blah blah you know and she treats kala the same way
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Avatar_f_tn
If you go,  make sure you have as much debt paid off as possible and put money away in savings if that is possible. Then, if your child support does not come in, you have a backup way of paying rent. It is very possible that while you may get support some months, there might be others that you don't...so you do need to plan for that. I would go, though. If God is opening up an opportunity, then I would go for it and ask God to close the door if he does not want you to get the place--he can prevent you from even getting the place if it is not for you. It sounds like you and your children would be happier and more independent in a place of your own and it does show your daughter how strong you are and that you can do this.
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Avatar_f_tn
You may want to call the electric co, water, gas co, and others to see what the average utilities are for this unit.  They can give you an average. Typically your rent shouldn't be more than 30% of your income, and it isn't. But, it really isn't guaranteed to get child support, although it shouldn't happen.  Then, you'd be stuck with really bad credit and forced to move back in with your mom. Research all about it and keep an open mind. It is exciting that you are doing so well in providing for your children. Best wishes.
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Avatar_f_tn
How much do you take home before the child support?  Are you sure you couldnt do it, without? A few years ago I lived in San Diego.  My rent was $950 a month and my take home pay was $1600.  It was do-able.  I only had myself to think about but it was possible to do by making sacrifices.

How long would your leasing agreement be?  In the worst case scenario, you could lose child support but you have the option of using your savings to help w/ rent/bills until your lease is up and move somewhere cheaper (or even back to your parents house if that would be an option.) .  
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172023_tn?1334675884
There are resources in almost every city to help young, struggling single mothers.  Try your local social services dept, some cities have a Helpline...there are programs to help with lowering your rent, helping to partially pay for daycare, sometimes they will pay for school to help you get a better job.

What city are you in?
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142722_tn?1281537216
I live near DC.  I am already on WIC but my income is to high, since I started working 40hrs to get help with daycare,  I am going back to college.  I have a two year degree that the government paid for.  I make $20.00 an hour which is very good.  The lowering of the rent, I am not sure.  My income is to high for just about everything expect WIC and school grants.  I have saving in case and could use it if something happens.  My dept is as low as it is going to get I got medical stuff I am paying on but I only give about 30 a month for about a $2000 medical bill - as long as I give something right.  Anything could happen to anyone - one of you ladies could lose your husband what would you do, one of you could lose a high paying job ect   any thing can happen to anyone.  Someone could lose a leg and not be able to work and it forces one to move out of a house - it happens all the time life is not straight so do I live in fear and force myself to stay with my parents or take this opptun.  I asked God to give me a home of my own and I think he wants me to take the risk  it is a hugh risk but my parents said I could move back in a year if it doesn' work out i don't know  i am some what confused.  
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142722_tn?1281537216
Before childsupport I bring home, after taxes, about $2500-2600 a month.  Child support is $750.00.   I make 41,600.00 a year (gross).
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172826_tn?1292440112
i am basically doing it on my own as well and the government has been f*cking me over as alot would say...i am on assistance until i go back to school, which i cannot wait to do. i cannot get Cameron in daycare right now, there arent many that take infants and that is the subsidized version...other than that im looking at 40$ a day..800$ a month...his father isn't helping, i am getting fed up with it. i get 900 from assistance  and 300 some from the gov't thats called baby bonus...i cat get in low housing becae you have to give your job etc n if ur on assistance they basically placeyou all together, as my worker said the way i was raised since both my parents work etc n i know education is the key etc, that i dont neither does cameron need to see the things that go o in co-ops...my friend lives there and has told me bout things that happen there...so has mycousin...in her place cockroaches are their pets...thy exterminate quite often...the drinking the drugs etc...some parents would rather let their kids starve so they can get their booze or drugs...

ive been told i live in the "bad" neighbourhood of my town but its not that bad...

my rent is 650 then i have baby stuff(formula, diaper and wipes-we'll say 250), phone(100), food (150-200), other bills(i try n pay bits by bits) n i am doing it on my own it is pretty hard...i was supposed to get an 800$ start-up when my son was born which they claim they have taken out but a few ppl i know have got it...they were supposed to give me winter clothing allowances which they havent...bunch of things they were supposed to do...they claim they dont but yet ppl i know are getting them-go figure...
i'd love to get out and work right now but to pay 800 for childcare when workin id only make about 900-1100 and plus the 300sum im neve going to get anywhere....

you seem as though you are in a better place even without the child support...depending on all the bills...id manage n move
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