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Grandmother has cancer / starting chemo soon
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Grandmother has cancer / starting chemo soon

Well ladies, I basically need to vent alittle. We recently found out that my grandma has a type of lymphoma and will be starting chemo soon (not sure about radiation yet). I was talking to her about the chemo and it popped into my head that I am not allowed to be around her while she is getting the therapy because of the pg. It came up in casual conversation, after she had said something about being around my 2 year old cousin. I hadn't thought I said anything wrong. Just threw it on the table so she knew the possiblity  was there that I wouldnt be able to see her. WELL, I had a drs appt yesterday and she confirmed that I am not to be around her at all until she is done completely with the chemo.
My aunt works with my husband and screamed at him about how selfish it was for me to tell my grandmother that, and not eveyrhting is always about me...and how can I do that to her right now she already has enough on her plate.
Number one, I didn't think I said anything wrong! I was just talking about it with her!! Number two, this isnt about me, it is about my unborn child being safe!! And number three, when exactly did she want me to tell her then? What? Not tell her and then just not ever visit....cause that sounds like a better plan. Better yet, wait till she starts the chemo, when she's really sick...ya, tell her then when she's at her worst!!!!????

Did I do anything wrong by telling her that when I did ladies? Please be honest. Was it selfish of me??
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Avatar_n_tn
You were not selfish and I would have done the exact same thing as you if I were in your shoes. You are not selfish, you care about your Grandma as well as your unborn baby. Your Aunt needs to mind her own business and let you and Grandma work this out. I am sure your Grandma understood and is not hurt by the way you discussed it with her.
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Avatar_n_tn
I don't think you did anything wrong either.  you need to worry about your unborn child.  I am sure emotions were just high and they said things without thinking them through however, don't stress yourself over it.  Just remember you are doing it for your child. Good Luck!
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150483_tn?1212172156
I think what you did was exactly what I would of done.Your fam. is going threw alot right know,but that does not mean you are wrong.You have to think about your baby!Or are they going to be mad at the 2 yr. old too!That is upsured.You r not being selfish.Your dr. even told you.I think you should tell your grandma.This will be hard.but I think she will understand.I'm sorry for your grandma & hope she'll be o.k...nanis
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150483_tn?1212172156
oh,I'm sorry.I did'nt see you ALREADY told her.Well I know that was very hard for you & your grandma.You r very strong.And only thinking about your baby being o.k.nanis
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Avatar_f_tn
First I want to say I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother! My grandmother just beat lung cancer and my other grandfather is on the losing end of beating his cancer.
And NO, you did nothing wrong at all!! You are right, it's about the safty of your little baby! You have a responsibility to that baby and I'm sure your grandmother will agree with that. Don't worry, you did nothing wrong! You tell your aunt that it's none of her business anyway and that it's between you and your grandmother. I really hope that everything turns out with your grandmother! I'm sorry your family is going through this!
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131073_tn?1252454452
Thank all you ladies for your responses. You made me feel better about my decision. I understand my aunt is under a lot of stress right now, but it isn't like this was an issue I could keep to myself. My grandmother had to know. Sure she is upset, as am I that I am not going to be able to help her and be there for her physically, but she understands. I told my gma we would get walkie-talkies so we could always keep in touch :o)
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm so sorry about your g-ma!  I'm really glad you posted because my mom has cancer and is probably going to start treatment again soon and I had no idea that I may be at risk around her now that I'm preg!  That's horrible!  I know your g-ma understood your concerns and wants what is best for you so don't worry about anything.
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Avatar_n_tn
My hubbys grandmother recently found out she has stage 3 lung and throat cancer.  Her last treatment was last week and I am due today.  She was on radiation and chemo and I was not allowed to be around her until she finished the treatments. That is what her dr told her.  The radiation was edmitted from her body, she couldnt even use metal forks, spoons or knives because they made every thing taste matalic (Sp?).  I know it was hard for her as well as me because she missed my baby shower and I felt bad about it because I knew she wanted to come and I wanted her to be there.  I havent heard that about chemo just radiation.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi

Sorry to hear about your grandmother and her cancer, I unfortunaley know first hand about Lymphona and I am just wondering why your doctor would tell you that you cannot be near her.  

I would look into this a little further.  Chemo goes into a person's veins and is not excreted through their skin, so I do not see why this would affect a pregnant woman.  Maybe if the cancer patient was receiving radiation therapy, but then again, maybe this would not even be an issue.

Yes, the safety of your unborn child is of most importance, but if there is really no foundation on why you cannot be there for your grandmother I think it would be unfortunate for both of you to miss out on the oppotunity for you to support her in her difficult time.

I really hope you get more advice, maybe even from her oncologist.

2girls soon to be 3
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164559_tn?1233711618
I believe it is only radiation that is a concern, however I may be mistaken.  Chemo is not "in the air" so perhaps your doctor thought you meant radiation.

I would definitely investigate it further and get a better picture of the risks.

Teach your grandma to im and email and you can have lots of contact!  

I pray your grandma recovers soon.  Try to be forgiving of your aunt.  She is probably just scared about losing her mama.
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142452_tn?1262036275
Personally I've never heard of not being around chemo patients when you're pregnant. And I'd think there'd be more about it on typical pregancy websites if that were the case. It would have been good to do the research before bringing it up, but I understand how things are beyond real when things like this happen. My mom and my grandma were diagnosed with breast cancer this time last year, and thank God they're both doing very well now. Don't let what your aunt said get to you; it's a scary time for everybody. And the way to beat it is by dealing with your feelings as they come, and by not speculating. Call around and get some conclusive information, and then you can make a plan for how to take care of both your baby and your grandma.
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Avatar_n_tn
This caught my eye...I didn't know this was unsafe. I googled the topic and found nothing, so I was wondering why it's unsafe to be around a chemo patient.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm so sorry to hear about your g-ma. I did a lot of research when a good friend's child had to undergo cancer treatment and I was PG and I had a 2 year old at the time too. As a lot of the previous posters said, I got the green light from doc and OB to be around when child was undergoing chemotherapy but not during her radiation treatments. Wishing your g-ma all the best.
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131073_tn?1252454452
It was specifically chemo that I asked my ob about. We aren't sure if she is going to need radiation or not.

When I was on the floors as a nursing student before I got pg, there was a pg nurse that was not allowed anywhere near this pts room that was having chemo (only chemo). I wasn't sure if that was just hospital policy, or a standard for pg women. This is what made me ask my doc about it. With radiation therapy I understand. But with the chemo, I am not 100% sure why I am not allowed to be around her. My doc said it was because of the chemicals they use. I know it goes into the veins, but it is throughout her body.  I am not taking any chances. She goes to the oncoligist (sp) today and is going to ask him about the situation as a second opinion. We will see what he says.
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Avatar_n_tn
If you say that you are not going to take any chances, then you have already made your decision by keeping away and telling your grandmother of your decision was the right thing to do, whether or not it has any validity, at least she knows why she will not see you and know that under any other circumstances you would be by her side.

I wish your grandmother the best of health after her treatments.
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