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Guilty
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Guilty

HI again. So i talked to the counsler at school and even after that rant i still don't feel any different. Talked to my bf again tonite. He's almost glowing he's so excited and all i could say was "don't get too excited hunny". It's not that i don't want the baby. I love kids. i guess ... i'm hoping that it just hasn'nt sunk in yet... Am I a bad mother? why am I not excited?!?!?! i'm making sure i'm doing everything right but it's more of 'well i need to do this' than ... any kind of emotion about it... is this common? please help i'm really starting to feel guilty...
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13167_tn?1327197724
Are you still in high school?
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178188_tn?1207883468
no, no high school. sorry. I'm 24 and in college. i guess i assumed people would know from previous forms sorry.
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175662_tn?1282217256
It is totally normal for you to wonder if you are ready for your first child, especially when it is unplanned.  Take it easy, and just one day at a time.  Do what is best for the two of you and especially the baby.  I wish you all the best.
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Avatar_f_tn
hunny i was in your same situation im 20 in my first year of college i was so scared at first but happy my bf was scared also for me b/c of my life then we got happy and it ended in a m/c and im so depressed im in my 2nd cycle and next week i will be ovulating and im hoping to concieve (conceive) this month cuz when my af came this month im so unhappy. Being pregnant is the most exciting time in our lifes and nothing not even school is more important than that. are u thinking about aboriton i did but i knew from when i seen my bfp i knew i wanted my angel but she/he had to stay in heaven and i pray to the lord to give me another blessing and i hope this month is my month! best of luck to u get happy girl being preggo is awesome
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178188_tn?1207883468
i am keeping it. we have had lots of talks, plans to live with my sister for extra help and picked out names the works...

i'm just not excited about it... i just talk everything out for what i have to do what we'll need ready... he's almost cheering on the phone and i'm just "meh"...

I'm okay with it... i mean i love kids. i'm not sad or dreading it... i just read all these forums on how excited everyone is and i'm wondering why I'm not... am i bad mother and it's not even here yet?! shouldn't i be excited and loving it...
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Avatar_n_tn
I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.  I am 14 weeks and most days I'm happy now, some days I'm not.  I was NOT pleased to learn of this news that we were unexpectedly expecting, and my bf is the same as yours, he's excited and has been from the start.  It's just such a life change when we weren't expecting it--and don't think it's cause you're 24, I'm 33!  This is totally normal.  My sister keeps telling me that even when you plan to do this, it's still hard sometimes and you aren't always happy.  They planned their kids, and after they got pregs the first time, my bro-in-law hid under the blankets and screamed, "what have we DONE??!!", funny!  But don't sweat it, everything will be OK, and it's a good thing your bf is into it, you will get into it too, it will just take time.  

Don't be so hard on yourself, ok?  This week has been particularly difficult on me, and my Mum keeps telling me that lots of women have negative feelings toward their offspring at certain times of their pregnancy, unexpected or not, and she keeps reassuring me that I will feel absolutely different when I have the baby, and if I don't, it's called "postpartum" and is treatable.

It'll be ok, sister, I truly know where you're coming from, and it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother.  I LOVE kids and always thought I would be the happiest pregnant woman alive, and shocked to find out that it's not all love and roses.  So many questions, so many changes.  It's ok.  It wasn't your plan, but God (if you believe in him) has a plan for you, and this is part of it.  We plan our lives (you're in college!) and no matter how much we plan, remember that the actual plan for your life is not the same.  Do what you do, and deal with what God gives you.  You're doing fine so far, you've made some good decisions and planning already, it will be OK!!  In fact, it will be better than OK, you (and I!) will find out this is the biggest blessing you ever had.

hugs for you :)
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15031_tn?1219072889
Hi there, I have never had a baby. I wasnt really tryin last year and on Halloween I had a m/c. Me and my hubby are both K9 cops and real busy and really didnt think we wanted to have a baby right now. I was fixing to go into narcotics and I dont know...i was even thinkin about more college. so i kinda know where you are coming from.

Anyways...I found out I was preggers on a Sat. night and then 2 days later lost it. but MAN when i got that positive..a few hours later it sank in and i was SOOO happy.

I remember crying and thinking OMG, life as I know it is over..i cant be "selfish ol me" anymore and now im stuck and i will be a soccer mom and i am supposed to be this big tuff cop and junk....just alotta silly emoitions which i found out is WAAAAY NORMAL! it went away and i was thrilled, but didnt get to see it happen.

NOW its all i can think about! LMAO...its funny how your priorities change. i cant wait to have a fat minivan full of kids and be the loudest mom at the game!!!!!! i have become a pee on a stick aholic ...and this site, OMG it's a life saver!!

i really hope that you start to feel happy real soon!

you hang in there and it WILL work out!!!!

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116879_tn?1266519849
Not to worry...I tried for years gave up and decided I was okay without having children then my last semester of college (I am an older student) bam!  I got pregnant.  I had my DD in September and when she was born I fell so hard in love with her that I could never imagine life without her.  You will be fine, it is a BIG change.  I just went to an open house meeting at my school last night and for the first time got Really depressed that I cannot go back to school now. Oh well, school will always be there but the early years of DD will fly by and I want to be there for her.  Let me tell you that you are one lucky gal to have a supportive BF--alot of young guys run away from your situation.  Good luck to you as you are making the right decision.
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Avatar_n_tn
When I got pregnant at the age of 23 I was so scared that i couldn't really enjoy my pregnancy and get excited about for the first few months. My BF and I had been together for over 2 years and we had talked about marriage, but we wanted to get some things in order first. But when I found out I was pregnant, he knew right away when I showed up on his door step in tears. The first thing he said after he acknowledge that I was pregnant was that everything would be okay. It took me a while to come around too. There was too much other stuff to think about as far as getting ready. We ended up getting married when I was 2 months pregnant. We were going to wait until after the baby was born and do the big wedding, but it was far better money wise to get married sooner. We have been married for over 3  years now and expecting our second boy in 3 weeks(hopefully). Everything will fall together. Just wait until you see the baby on the ultrasound or you hear the heartbeat for the first time. It changes your whole outlook.
All the best and don't worry.
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151668_tn?1239924705
Honestly...there are days when I will break down and cry with this overwhelming feeling of NOT wanting a baby!
I'll be 26 weeks this Saturday, and it was a PLANNED pregnancy!!

I can only imagine the emotional rollercoaster your on when it was NOT planned.

Not only is this the biggest thing to ever happen in a woman's life, but it is the biggest thing to happen that will change her body as well.

I constantly have the questions of "will I be a good mother?", "how will I take care of a baby?", not to mention the SELFISH thoughts that arise, such as "my life as I know it is over.", "I'll never be able to just pick up and go anywhere again.", "How will I handle taking care of a baby, the house, and myself?"

We just had a baby shower a couple of weeks ago, and I swear to you, as exciting as it all was, it also made the fact that I was going to be a mother REALLY sink in. When we brought all the stuff into the house and it was crowding up our living room, the realiziation of impending parenthood set in. All of a sudden I just wanted to cry. I told my dh that I was feeling overwhelmed by everything. (of course, we're also in the process of trying to put our house up for sale, which would cause chaos in the midst of my being due in April!).

Anyway, the point is, you're not alone. With hormones raging, you'll probably have MANY days of "I don't want to do this".
But then, there are the moments that outweigh those negative ones. I feel the baby move inside me, and long to hold him. I see the little onesies and nightgowns, and picture a tiny baby wearing them. Then there is dh, who constantly tells me how much he appreciates my "sacrifice". LOL

I know that in the long run everthing will be just fine. Besides the hormones, it's the apprehension and the HUGE change taking place in your life that makes you "not care" or "afraid" or "worried". I'm sure the further along you get, you'll grow to appreciate your baby more. Not saying there won't be "down" days, but you'll find that your having more "up" days than down.

Everything will be fine, and you'll be a great mother!

Best of luck!
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