HELP, it sounds crazy but....

I have a question for everyone. I got pregnant in january and i had an abortion in march. i took the abortion pill and the bleeding and pain was so bad so that i went to the hospital and had a D&C. then i went back to planned parenthood to have a sono to make sure everything was ok and they took a pregnancy test and it said negative (which is what she said). then i had a period a few weeks later, maybe one week or maximum two weeks. then i found out i was pregnant again in april. well, when i got pregnant before, i was with another guy besides my husband and i felt so bad! so i am scared and nervous that maybe there is some .00001% chance that it is the same baby and it will ruin my relationship. tell me i am crazy!!! please i need closure

[JustME9]

How far along are you and does this other person know that he might have a baby on the way? Does your doctor know? They can do paternity tests, we hand out paternity papers and info in the hospital after you deliver..

[TammiLee]

WELL, I ASSUME THAT IT IS MY HUSBANDS GIVEN ALL THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGHT WITH THE D AND C, THE ABORTION PIL, AND HAVING A PERIOD, AND THE HORMONE LEVEL BEING LOWER AND RAISING AGAIN, SO I HAVENT REALLLY TALKED TOTHE OTHER PERSON AND A PATERNITY TEST WOULD BE OBVIOS, HOW LONG DO THE RESULTS TAKE? IS IT FREE? I WOULDNT WANT HIME TO KNOW HE IS TAKING IT FOR THAT REASON. I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS POSSIBLE. IS IT? I AM 19 WEEKS

[katt7]

Sounds like this is your husbands baby.  If the doc. shows you as being 19 weeks you must have gotten pregnant at the end of April as I am now 21 weeks and got pregnant in the middle of April.  Have you had an U/S done after you found out you were pregnant in April?  If this was still the same baby from January you would be 8months preg. now, which the doctor should notice if that is the case.  Well, I wish you the best and keep us posted.

[TammiLee]

WELL I GOT PREGNANT AT THE END OF JAN AND THE 8TH OF APRIL, I AM NOW 4 MONTHS AND ABOUT 3 WEEKS. I WOULD BE ABOUT 6 AND A HALF IF IT WAS THE SAME BABY, BUT MY FRIEND HAD A BABY THAT ALWAYS SHOWED UP 4 WEEKS OLDER THAN HE WAS BEFORE HE WAS BORN, SO WHAT IF MY BABY IS SHOWING UP 8 WEEKS YOUNGER? I HAVE HAD A U/S AND IT SAID THAT I CONCEIVED AROUND APRIL 1ST-THE 8TH, I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU CAN STILL BE PREGNANT AND HAVE EVERYTHING LOOK HEALTHY AND GO NORMAL LIKE IT IS WITH THE ABORTION PILL, THE D AND C, AND AN ULTRASOUND SAYING IT WAS GONE, AND A PREGNANCY TEST SAYING NEG. AND MY PERIOD.

[JustME9]

I'm not sure about the paternity testing.  I have only seen one couple in the hospital I work sign up for it...so i'm not sure if it's free.  I do know we encourage girls to have the father sign the birth certificate, and if they don't, we have them sign paternity papers saying who the father is..we try to get the "dad" to sign it in the hospital too in case he changes his mind later on

[TammiLee]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PROBABILITY? IT SEEMS INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY RIGHT?

[JustME9]

honestly, it seems VERY highly unlikely.  I'm sure that if you did have the medical abortion, your doc would have followed you closely on the pills he gave you, right? I just read up on the methotrexate and they say if you take it for a medical abortion, that you can become pregnant right away.  I can't imagine that any ultrasound tech these days would be that far off in the measuring of your dates.  I can't imagine that the baby you are carrying now is the one you conceived in January.  I hope that you figure everything out and feel 'ok" with it.

[hamsterkitten]

I don't think it's possible that it is the other guy's baby.  If they did the d & c and everything, and the pregnancy test was negative, if there were still a baby, i would think it would be dead with no heartbeat or anything.  You're prolly just being a little unrational about it cause you are so worried- but you shouldn't be.  Didn't your husband know anything about what was going on with your abortion?

[TammiLee]

IM GOING TO ASK MY DOCTOR ON THE 29TH, THAT IS MY 5 MONTH APPOINTMENT. I CALLED A NURSE AND SHE SAID IT DIDNT SEEM LIKELY B/C OF THE FACT THAT MY HORMONE LEVELS WENT DOWN AND UP AGAIN. I FIGURE, WHAT BABY COULD SURVIVE AN ABORTION PILL, A D AND C, AND A PERIOD?

[TammiLee]

MY HUSBAND KNEW, BUT HE FIGURED WE HAD THE ABORTION B/C WE WERENT READY AT THAT TIME.

[JustME9]

Tammi, I am sorry for the stress you are going through.  Maybe you would feel better if you came clean with your hubby.  It would probably be so hard, but it would releive your stress and could bring you two closer together.  It is better than having something come out later and losing the trust altogether.  Just a thought.  I hope you can figure things out.

[TammiLee]

WELL, I TOTALLY REGRET IT, MY HUBBY IS SOMEWHAT SPITEFULL AND COULD NEVER FORGIVE ME OR BE WITH ME KNOWING THAT I WAS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. HE WOULD ALWAYS THINK OF IT. I WOULD NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO SPLIT UP AT THE TIME. I WANT TO HAVE OUR BABY, MY HUSBAND AND I'S. I WANT TO KNOW IT IS OURS. I THINK IT IS BU TI AM JUST NERVOUS OF MAYBE THERE IS A POSSIBILITY. YOU DONT THINK SO?

[ildike]

To me it looks like it's your husband's baby.  I don't think an u/s would show 2 months difference.  It would have to be a great coincidence with having taken the abortion pill, an actual d&c, and a negative pregnancy test.  You're simply feeling guilty, that's it.

[msklarr]

I think you deserve to feel guilty. How irresponsible. How old are you? To just throw away a baby for that reason is so selfish in my opinion.So many women in this forum struggle for years to get pregnant, or have one misscarriage after another. This kind of post really disgusts me....!

[JustME9]

Tammi, honestly it seems next to IMPOSSIBLE that it could be the same baby.  I would try not to stress if i was you.  that is the worst thing you can do right now.

[TammiLee]

ill let you all know after the 29th when i ask my doc. hope your right:(

[TammiLee]

even though my friends baby showed up as 1 month older than he was??:(

[Still_AndiJ]

Ahhhhhh. I have been holding my breath waiting for this post. Thank you. I hate to be judgmental, but it does hurt to see somthing like this when we have just suffered our 4th m/c and we really want to have children.

Andrea

[machellebrown22]

Not trying to be mean at all, but I agree completely!!!

[Cyndee Jo]

I second that.

[me-2]

tammi, are you pdollg????
story sounds the same.

[msklarr]

Me-2 I cant say that thought has crossed my mind too...

[DESTINA]

every woman has the right to do as she please.  Her having the abortion did not cause anyone eles to be infertile or have miscarriages.  That was very mean of you guys. She can here for help not to be judged.

[msklarr]

Well I feel it is very insensitive of her to come to this site talking about abortion when the very Basis of this Forum is about maternal and child. You are entitled to your opinion of course, but I do not feel it was cruel. Aborting a child for the reasons she did was cruel. I am sure if she suspects ebnough that this is not her husbands child that she would abort it.  I will not help her make that decision. It angers many ppl in this perticular forum to see such carelessness and disregard for life, especially since so many are struggling so hard to concieve (conceive) themselves. I think she needs to find an appropriate forum, and this is not the one.

[Still_AndiJ]

I totally agree and would like to further add, it would be one thing if she just casually and briefly mentioned it on one post, be she has hammered it over and over again. For those of us trying to help new people and who are also struggling with fertility or recent m/c it is very painful.


Andrea

[rubbiesfire]

I feel if you took a pill that induces Abortion that alone is very dangerous for any fetus. then to have a D & C afterward. what that means is they scrape the entire linning of the uterus. I doubt very seriously that baby could survive such treatments.
    I do worry for your body to have gone through so much TRAUMA in such a short tiem cant be healthy not to mention you mentally ABusing your self with this guilt. You made your bed. now lay in and dont hold on to fear that in the end could harm this special baby that GOd blessed you with. NOT all of us have been blessed in awhile and would love to be in your shoes...
    THink positive thoughts please.. For this baby sake.
                           RUBBIE

[TammiLee]

like the one person before said, i did not contribute to your infertility in any way, i made the decision because i wasnt ready yet, obviously if i was not faithful than i was not ready for a child if i couldnt even handle my own relationships. now i have mended things with my husband and we are ready and i want to make sure that there is nothing from the past to haunt me. i felt horrible for what i did, i came here for help. if you didnt have an opinion on the question I ASKED!!! than dont comment , i want to know opinions on the probability, and no i do not have other screen names on this service.

[Lea-Laine]

Mrs. Lee
I am doing an argumentive research paper on abortion and I saw where you posted a question.( I dont agree with abortion, but what's done is done and GOd is a forgiving God!)
Yes Mam, That baby belongs to your husband,
and also ask God for forgiveness ( if you have, then forgive yourself), because this will allow you to be free from your past. It seems as if your past is trying to haunt you.
I'm sure you have learned a lesson from all of this.
Take some time to focus on your life with your new child and a new life with your husband.
I just wanted to share that with you and I will be praying that you experience life in a whole new way! God Bless You and He Still Loves You!