He sleeps better with me...? about cosleeping

Dh and I noticed that our 17 day old DS sleeps better if he's in the bed with me.  I must admit I'm not made out for cosleeping.  I don't sleep at all when he's in my bed but if it gives us a few hours of peace at night, I'll do it.  Now, here is my concern.  I don't want him to develop bad sleeping habits (i.e., not being able to fall asleep on his own).  I made the mistake of not teaching DD to fall asleep on her own and at 18 months, she STILL doesn't.  Does allowing him to sleep with me NOW guarantee future problems with sleeping habits?  How do I make sure that I'm not creating more problems in the future?

[cantwait4baby]

From everyone I know it does create issues later on because they become attached to you.  I tried my best not to and I didn't until just this month.  DD is having issues during the night so when she wakes up and will not lay back down I put her in bed with us. This is the only way I get sleep.  I am hoping it is just the teeth and I will not have to get her in the middle of the night anymore because I am afraid of just that - I dont want her to think she can sleep with us.  My godson slept with his mom until he was 6 and I have a neice who is still sleeping with her parents and she is older then that.  It is hard to break for both parents and kids.  Good Luck -

I would do whatever allowed me to sleep and worry about the sleeping issues later

[SeeingSpots]

I coslept with my first son (16 mo) and am now with my second ds.  My 1st ds is a WONDERFUL sleeper on his own now, and it didn't cause any problems when we transitioned him to his own crib-- it just needs to be done slowly.  He now goes down to bed (wide awake) at 8pm and doesn't get up until 9am (he's usually awake by 7am, and just plays quietly in the crib with his crib toys).  What we did was always let him cosleep at night, but took all his naps in the crib (cradle when first born).  Then, once starting solid food and not needing to nurse as often through the night, I'd nurse him to sleep in our bed and transition him to the crib.  When he'd wake up during the night (usually early AM), I'd go get him and bring him back to bed for the rest of the night.  I know a lot of moms say *not* to nurse to get them to sleep, but that's how we did it at first.  Once he got use to sleeping in the crib (and started sleeping in it all the way through the night), we then moved on to me nursing him in a rocking chair in the nursery until he was *just about* to fall asleep, then put him in the crib.  If he awoke, I'd just "shhhhhh" him and rub his back.  Then we started putting him down when he was awake, and I'd again do the "shhh" and rubbing, and put on some music from his crib toys.  From there it was just putting him down and putting the music on.  Now he's old enough that we put him down and he turns the music on himself.

Anyway, it worked SO well with ds #1 that we're doing the same thing for ds#2.  Cosleeping has SOOOOO many benefits, although I'm not going to go in to them because it always starts a *long* and drawn out "discussion" on the board, and I don' t have the energy for that!! LOL  What I will say is that yes, it's normal that YOU won't sleep as well when cosleeping, because a part of your brain will always be monitoring baby, but baby does sleep better because they never have to get totally stressed out (crying) when they need you-- you're right there.  Also, baby won't go in to as deep of a sleep.  They've studied O2 saturation levels, and because baby actually "rebreathes" the air that you're exhaling (which contains a higher level of CO2), their brains don't allow them to get in to the really deep sleep... this *sounds* bad, but is actually natures way of helping to prevent SIDS.  

Babies are preprogrammed to want to be with mom ALL the time-- not just during the day.  I was a great ape zookeeper for over 12 years, and during all that time I *never* saw one of my primate mom's put their babies down to sleep in a separate area... baby was always snug against mom in her nest for the night.  We also never lost one of them to SIDS or had an ape roll over on baby.  We DID however lose some to SIDS when they were being hand-raised in the nursery.  Always gave me something to think about.

[amberd5191]

I have co-slept with all of my children. I think it just depends on the baby as an individual. My daughter had a hard time going to her own bed (she's 7 now but was about 2 at the time of the problems), then one day she just stopped having a hard time. My sons by the age of about 6 months had no problem going in a crib and sleeping most of the night. They both sleep well on their own. I still am co-sleeping with my daughter now (13 weeks). It's just something that although frowned upon by a lot of people works for us.

[CYW]

girl.. they all most likely sleep better with you..I think co-sleeping is a personal choice...my ds is almost 7 mos old and he does sleep with me when hes not feeling good..like waking up in the middle of the night...i know hes not feeling up to himself and i wont argue with him but there are alot of danger just be aware of them:)

[mami1323]

Yep, all children sleep better with you being right there with them.  I know I sleep soundly also, it's just so cozey.  My son has never really been a co-sleeper because our bed is not big enough and my fiance is a heavy sleeper so I can't exactly put him between us.  If I leave him on my side I'm constantly worried that he is going to fall over the edge.  So I only really put him in my bed when my fiance leaves for work and my ds gets fussy.  So my ds will sleep through the night in his crib, then fusses around 5:30 am, I take him out and since my fiance is gone already, I put him in my bed and he's out for another 2 hours.  We will also sleep with him when he was sick.  He only slept when he was next to us.  It's a personal choice and hey if you're desperate for sleep you will do whatever it takes.  

[DollChina]

Me2, Gavin colept with us for the first 7 months since I was nursing him.  I had a bassinet and later a pack and play in my room.  He did sleep in our bed every so often but I made sure he took his nap in his crib in his room.  He had no problem what so ever when I migrated him back to him room at 7 months.  I hope this help

[BabyHardiman]

I wish I could co-sleep with my baby.  =(  Our bed is too small, and my Fiance is a heavy sleeper too, and he's ALL OVER the bed.  Not to mention we have a 5 and 7 year old is INSIST on sleeping with Daddy when they are here.  

[AndiJ78]

I didn't have issues transitioning mine from my bed to their own, I have done that with my two older boys. Even CJ, who has his twin bed next to mine, falls asleep on his own even when we aren't in there with him. And if he wakes at night, he puts himself back to sleep. When he naps. he sleeps on his own.

I think the single biggest mistake made is when they are older and they are taught to sleep with a breast or bottle. During the first several months, mine fell asleep at the breast, but once they hit about 7 or 8 mos, they started being able to soothe themselves to sleep very easily.

[DollChina]

Agreed with Andi, no bottle for Gavin when he's in his crib.  It's very bad for their teeth too.
I do have to say, some moms are justmore lucky than others.  You maybe doing everything right but still have a clingy one....

[Me2mommy2b]

I have a feeling I'm not one of the lucky moms.  I made a huge mistake with Ariella by not teaching her to sleep on her own (partly b/c of her reflux issues) and now we're paying for it.  I'm terrified to make the same mistake twice.

[boosty]

absolutely not. your son CAN sleep in the bed with you at this stage and not even know it later. its at 6 months old that they realize where they are and thats when they say to get them out of your room to their own room. until then, take care of your baby no matter what. i am very much into childrens psychology cd's and books and stuff. so i am telling you this from alot of the same answer reading. my daughter slept in the room with us but in a bassennett. never ever in our bed even until now that shes 3. but before 6 months, the only reason i didnt put her in bed with me was because it wasnt necessary. just becareful to not sufficate her.

[kellym]

OH, with Lily, that was the only way ANYONE was getting sleep. She would just fall asleep on my chest or right next to me where she couldn't fall out of the bed. I wouldn't worry too much about it. We only did this for a few months, there will be plenty of time to teach him to sleep in his bed.  Maybe Ariella is just stubborn :) GOod luck!

[deanne11]

I did co-sleeping with my son for the first 3-4 mos of his life.  He just did better.

He is now 6 mos old and has no problem putting himself to sleep on his own in his crib, in his room....

My problem...is him staying asleep....LOL
He is still waking up for multiple night feedings.

[Me2mommy2b]

Thanks for putting my mind at ease.  I was stressing out about it so much b/c I don't need two children with terrible sleeping habits.  Plus, I swore to myself that I won't make that same mistake twice.  
Kelly, yes, Ariella's VERY stubborn

[Crritter]

I have to say, when you have a colicky baby, you just have to get sleep any way you can.  Both of my boys were colicky and Cameron has really bad acid reflux too.  We would be up till 5 am and Cam wouldbe losing his voice from crying and screaming.  If he did drift off at all, there was no way to put him down, if I did it pissed him off and I would pay dearly.  Carson was the same.  I was lucky to get to sit down and rock in between.  By around 4 months it passed, but I slept in a big chair when I could.  Even now, if Cam isn't feeling well, I let him snuggle in.  I did the same with Carson and he transitioned just fine into his bed.  You just do what you feel best with, the first few months are so tough anyway, and baby cannot be expected to soothe themself or try to learn to put themself to sleep yet anyway.  Hang in there, I hope the nights get better.