My fiance and I are having a baby using a sperm donor. Our first artificial insemination date is in September, and we are wondering how long it will take for me to get pregnant this way. Does anyone know? We are doing this from home, Thanks
It would take you about as long as it would with any man with an ordinary sperm count, taking into account anything you are doing along with it, like measuring your ovulation with a test kit and timing it to that. (Since you say you are "doing this from home," I take it you are not doing sperm washing, IUI, etc.) Doing the deed totally naturally, an average couple without fertility issues has about a 20% chance any given month of getting pregnant. If you are timing your ovulation, your odds are better. If you were to use any medical processes like IUI, your odds would be better. The main thing is, a sperm donor has the same odds as any other male with normal sperm count.
Saying you are doing this from home raises another issue. You can sign away your own future legal rights or claims to the donor, but I don't think you can sign away the baby's legal rights to the donor if it is done at home, even if you have a legal document between you and the donor. That's why people use sperm banks -- they break the legal chain so the child has no future claim to the sperm donor and vice versa. Have you looked into the legal issues and written up some kind of an agreement? If you are not yet married to your fiance at the time the child is born, I think the sperm donor could even petition for custody (being married creates the legal assumption that any child born of the marriage is the husband's, but I don't think being engaged does). Anyway, be sure your legals are in order if you are not going through a sperm bank.
Thank you for your reply. We are timing my ovulation and our sperm donor is a friend of 8 years. We have a form we are both going to fill out about the sperm donor not being responsible for the child and him not asking for custody. Thank you for pointing out these facts, it was sure nice to have such a lengthy reply! We cant afford to do sperm banks thats why we are doing this at home.
When my sister wanted to do an in-the-family sperm donation, our lawyer told me that whether she had a legal agreement with the donor or not, all she could legally sign away was her own right to ask the donor for anything, but she could not sign away the legal connection of the baby to the donor if it was a known donor.
I don't know if this is different in different states, but generally in the law I don't think one person can waive another person's rights (that other person being the baby). Your baby might still have legal rights to support from the donor no matter what you signed, or if he grows up and has something the donor wants, it might even be that the donor could claim paternity. Or the donor might have to do a separate step later and sign off on the legal adoption of the child to your husband, I don't know.
In any case, I would certainly get advice on this from a lawyer or a law professor (who might advise you for free) before getting pregnant. Have him or her look at the form and see if it is only a protection between you (the parents) and the donor, or if it somehow covers the baby's rights too.
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