Maternal & Child Community
How soon can we try again after miscarriage
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to breast feeding, childhood disease, colic, child discipline, immunization, lactation, newborn care, post partum depression, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and special needs children.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

How soon can we try again after miscarriage

I have recently miscarried at 8.5 weeks although the doctor said it was probably only a 6-7 wk pregnancy. I had no D&C and it was all over (physically) in less than a week.

I am finding it really difficult to get consistent advice on when we can try again...ranging from after my first cycle to 6 months.

Given my specific details, when can we start to try again without significantly increasing our chances of this happening again?

What I'm interested in is the medical/physical side as I feel my husband and I are in the best position to judge emotionally, when we are ready.

Thankyou
Kerry
Related Discussions
22 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I can only tell you what one of my doctors told me when they thought I was having a normal miscarriage (it ended up to actually be an ectopic pregnancy, but that's another story).  She asked me my age (I'm 36) and she said that I only had to wait one full cycle before trying again.  She didn't tell me why she asked my age...maybe older patients have to wait a little longer.  One of the nurses said 2 months, but the doctor said one month, so if it had been a normal M/C I would have gone with that.  At that point, though, no D & C had been done yet (I had one in the office without anesthesia a few days later because my own doc wanted to finally rule out an ectopic once and for all...).  But one thing to remember is that it can take a while to get your first period, which is normal.

In my case though as far as the ectopic goes, I have to wait two full cycles (so 3 periods).  And that is after major surgery (laparotomy) and removal of part of the left tube.  So I would think that if after having major abdominal surgery I only have to wait 2 cycles, you would probably be safe with waiting one.  BUT...you really need to ask explicitly.  If you can't get the doc on the phone, ask one of the nurses you feel you can get a good answer from.

My problem is in terms of whether or not what I am experiencing right now is actually a period...I keep getting bright red blood and then the next time I go to the bathroom it is dark brown and scant.  I can't make heads or tails of it.  It is supposed to be much heavier and more painful (this one is much more painful so that's a sign that it is actually my first period, but it certainly isn't steady at all).  I don't want to assume this is my period if it isn't and not wait long enough...but the nurse I spoke to told me to assume it is.

Let me know what your doctor says and good luck.

Lisa
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thankyou, it is great to get another view on this.

Actually my own doctor said wait 3 months (and was adament), however, the doctor I saw at the  emergency department when it was all happening siad one cycle. Another doctor I know (sister of a friend and a recent miscarrier herself) said there's no medical reason to wait, your body will be ready before you heart - just wait one cycle. So you can see where the inconsistency is coming from!

Basicly we're trying to get as many opinions as possible before making up our minds, but it's not proving easy!

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, I'm afraid I know nothing about the bleeding patterns you are descibing. Sorry I can't be of more help.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I had a D&C done on April 28 of this year for a blighted ovium--my doctor said to try to wait at least one cycle--unfortantly I got married during this time and had a honeymoon which in deed I got pregnant again before I even had a period. My doctor said that your body knows when things are right and you will get pregnant when your body is ready to handle it again. I am now 10 weeks along and have had no troubles. To be on the safe side my doctor put me on progestrone to help with the lining of the uterus--In my option if you feel that you are ready to try again then go for it.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Sounds good to me!!!

Thankyou
Kerry
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
In my post I wasnt meaning that you should go against the advice of your doctor--I was just letting you know that there is a brighter side of getting or not getting a period soon after a D&C--That a pregnacy can be a healthy one. Every person and situation is different. A doctors view is sometimes generic based on the patients he has seen in the past--not you in general. Deep down only you know whats right for yourself.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Kerry, sorry..I just reread your post and I think that you have an absolute right to tell your doctor that the ER doctor told you one month.  That is almost the same as going to another OB for a second opinion.  He can't feel then that you have "gone behind his back" because you didn't trust his judgment.

It is possible that the ER doctor not having your entire medical history at his disposal might not be privy to something that is causing your own doc to tell you to wait.

I don't mean to imply at all that that is a bad thing.  Maybe you have difficult periods or something similar like that.  That's all I mean by that...there has to be a reason for him being adamant.  I think you have a right to check into that.

Let me know what happens, okay?

Lisa
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hello,
  I recently went through m/c #4. I naturally miscarried at home, with it finally finishing up about 2 weeks ago. I went to my OB just as the m/c was completing and she also said to wait for 3 months to give my body time to heal. Bear in mind, I am only 24 (25 in 7/31). So I am not certain age is a factor.
  While I find the advice on this board very helpful at times, none of us are doctors (some of us are nurse, but not docs) and we should still heed their advice when it comes to situations like this. I would say give your doctor the benefit of the doubt that he knows his stuff. ER doctors are not generally OB's : )
  There have been many women who haven't waited and have had very healthy pregnancies. But for the sake of your body and future baby, I would wait (I am in the same boat, I know the waiting is hard, almost unbearable at times) Just keep focused on other things, keep taking those vitamins : )

Good Luck!!
Andrea
Jonathan Avery 12/7/01
4 Angel Babies
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Yes, it's definitely a tricky one! The thing is, I'm in a new town so I had only seen my doctor once and the emerg. doctor once, neither of which was privy to any information the other one was not.

The problem I'm having with my doctor's advice is that everything about my history (very regular periods, off the pill for nearly 2 years, very early miscarriage with no outside intervention, generally fit and healthy non-smoker and light drinker) points to the fact that maybe my doctor is making more than a physical judgement or that he has standard advice and has not 'tailored' it to my situation. Both of these situations I feel are unjustified.

I'm thinking I should really go back and quiz him some more on this but my feeling is that he will not budge!

Oviously I don't want to risk another m/c or go directly against his advice (there aren't many OBs in a small town!) but maybe fulled with lots of other opinions I could talk him around.

Kerry
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Kerry, the only thing that I think you should think about is that your doctor is adamant about you waiting 3 months to conceive.  I personally (and obviously this is not my advice to you, this is just what I feel myself) wouldn't be able to go to the same doctor if he said 3 months and I got pregnant in 1.  In fact, my doctor got panicked a few days ago when I told him I knew I was already ovulating (I was only keeping track to get a good idea of my body's rhythm so when it is time to try again, all my ducks are in a row, so to speak).  I assured him that I was completely on the same page as him as far as waiting to try again.  But to be fair, my body has been through the wringer in terms of surgery.  I am in NO way saying that what I went through was worse than you or anything like that.  I am just saying that after surgery so many things have to get taken into account.

Would you be comfortable asking your doctor why he wants you to wait three months...maybe if you open up those lines of communication you can get an idea of why he wants that so badly.  You can say that you have heard from "friends" or whatever you want to say who were in the same boat that their doctors said one month was fine...

I just want you to not be put in the situation where you come in in a few weeks with a positive pregnancy test and your doctor is stunned and you feel uncomfortable by it.

Did I explain that well enough...I don't want you to think I am telling you what to do...I just know my personality is such that if a doctor says wait, then I wait...or you could eliminate the problem if you want by switching to a different doctor.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Lisa
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I HAD A MISCARRIAGE BEFORE MY THIRD CHILD WAS BORN.  IT WAS A SEMI WANTED PREGNANCY.  BUT AFTER AWHILE, I WAS THRILLED. ANYWAY, I MISCARRIED IN MY 12TH WEEK.  I HAD THOUGHT I WAS IN THE FREE IN CLEAR, BUT IT HAPPENED TO ME!!  ANYWAY MY DR TOLD ME TO WAIT UNTIL I HAD MY FIRST CYCLE, MAYBE EVEN 3 MONTHS.  BUT I WAS SO DEVASTATED THAT I WANTED TO REPLACE THAT BABY IN MY HEAD.  I WAS PREGNANT IN 3 WEEKS.  IT HELPD AT THAT TIME EMOTIONALLY, BUT AFTER THE BABY WAS BORN I WAS A WRECK.  MY HORMONES WERE ON A ROLLER COASTER, I WENT THROUGH A TERRIBLE DEPRESSION.  I GUARDED THAT BABY, WOULD SIT UP AT NIGHT AND JUST HOLD HER AND CRY.  I NEVER REALLY GRIEVED OVER THE MISCARRIAGE AND IMMEDIATLEY GOT PREGNANT.  I THINK HE REALLY WANTED TO GIVE MY HORMONES A LEVELLING OUT.  MINE NEVER DID, NOT UNTIL ABOUT 6 MONTHS AFTER THE BIRTH.  BUT LOOKING BACK, IT HELPED ME AND I GUESS I WOULD DO IT THE SAME WAY.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I had a m/c 31 July 03. I was only 5/6weeks along so passed all like an heavy period really in about 5 days. I was told that technically I could get pregnant once the bleeding has stopped and my hormone level dropped back to zero but I am not sure. I did try because I was only going to be with my hubby till 11 August and I am hoping that I am pregnant again though I have not been able to do a test as it might be negative if done too early besides, I have not heard of anyone who got pregnant a week after m/c. My GP said there's a chance but advised I do the test at the end of the month. I am finding it hard to wait. So,what do you people think? How soon can I do the test and could I really be pregnant?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I m/c on August 15.  I am 27 and this was my first pregnancy.  I was 7 weeks 6 days along. I did not need a d&C and miscarried over 12 days. I asked my midwife when we could start trying again and she said I should wait one cycle. The only reason for this was for dating the pregnancy.  She said if I felt comfortable trying earlier I could and that they could still date the pregnancy by ultrasound but knowing the date of my last period and dating it that way is easier. She also said that the only real healing the body has to do is to heal the tiny area where the embryo was. She did say sometimes it is better to wait a little longer to emotionally separate the miscarried pregnancy from the next.  Some people rush into it and have a hard time separating the two emotionally.  You need to take the time to grieve the m/c pregnancy before moving on to the next.
     Kerryade, As for wondering why your doctor was so adamant about 3 months, ASK HIM!!!  He is there for you. You pay for his services.   You are the patient and need to know the facts about your health.  If you do not feel comfortable asking him find another doctor! You can not take an acive role in your health care if you do not feel comfortable with your doctor.  (I am sorry, I just feel strongly about this, I am a nurse and I just feel that the doctor/patient relationship is important.  You should be able to talk to your doctor about everything and anything.)So ask him why he says 3 months and ask him what if you feel ready to try earlier, is it okay?  Remember you are not questioning his judgement, this is just information you need to know!  You need to know all the facts so you can make an informed decision as to when to start trying again.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I m/c on August 15.  I am 27 and this was my first pregnancy.  I was 7 weeks 6 days along. I did not need a d&C and miscarried over 12 days. I asked my midwife when we could start trying again and she said I should wait one cycle. The only reason for this was for dating the pregnancy.  She said if I felt comfortable trying earlier I could and that they could still date the pregnancy by ultrasound but knowing the date of my last period and dating it that way is easier. She also said that the only real healing the body has to do is to heal the tiny area where the embryo was. She did say sometimes it is better to wait a little longer to emotionally separate the miscarried pregnancy from the next.  Some people rush into it and have a hard time separating the two emotionally.  You need to take the time to grieve the m/c pregnancy before moving on to the next.
     Kerryade, As for wondering why your doctor was so adamant about 3 months, ASK HIM!!!  He is there for you. You pay for his services.   You are the patient and need to know the facts about your health.  If you do not feel comfortable asking him find another doctor! ( I recommend women doctors, in my experience they are more caring and take more time out to answer question and address concerns.  In my midwives office, I even got to have my chart in my hands before going in to see the midwife.  I could look over and read whatever I wanted.  Afterall, it's my chart and about me. How many places actually let you do that? This wasn't something I asked for either, I was actually shocked by it.) You can not take an acive role in your health care if you do not feel comfortable with your doctor.  (I am sorry, I just feel strongly about this, I am a nurse and I just feel that the doctor/patient relationship is important.  You should be able to talk to your doctor about everything and anything.)So ask him why he says 3 months and ask him what if you feel ready to try earlier, is it okay?  Remember you are not questioning his judgement, this is just information you need to know!  You need to know all the facts so you can make an informed decision as to when to start trying again.  
     As for me I think I am just going to go with the flow, I will probably wait one cycle but if things happen earlier, then so be it. I hope you'll do the same. Having a miscarriage is stressful enough, you don't need the added stress of trying to decide when to start trying again.  Do it when you and your husband are ready, just make sure you've  both grieved for your m/c and are ready to move on.  We all know we can never get over this completly but we can heal as best we can and move on, hopefully to healthy full term pregnancies!!  Good luck and God bless!                  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I JUST HAD A MISCARRIAGE ON THE 8TH OF JULY 2008   I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY 3RD I WAS 7 WEEKS AND A COUPLE DAYS I REALLY WANTED THIS BABY MY KIDS WHERE SO HAPPY.  I HAD TO HAVE A D&C WITCH WAS SCARY BUT IM SO SCARED TO TRY AGAIN.  THIS HAS BEEN THE HARDEST THING I HAVE BEEN THRU IN MY LIFE...  :*(  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i am going through a miscarriage now i got told this morning  i just cant stop crying i feel emotionally torn apart i was 7 weeks 2 days its terrible what we have to go through some worse than others good luck to everyone who wants to try again your brave i cant at the min id feel it would happen again best wishes xxx
Blank
588207_tn?1218641861
I just went through a miscarriage with my 1st pregnancy on Aug 11, 2008 and it is the most difficult thing to understand and get a grip of emotionally. Inside I want my husband and I to try again as soon as possible, but if I did get pregnant so soon then I wonder if I'd really be ready and be able to separate the two pregnancies. Because I could easily understand how the second would kind of just take the place of the last, which I don't want to happen. I was only 5 weeks when it happened, but it was still a little baby, a life, that my husband and I made together. It's really between you and your partner to decide when the time is best for you to start trying again, it may sound cliche, but you'll know if your heart when you are ready. You'll probably never really get over losing a child, how could you?! But you will know when you can breathe and smile and say... I'm ready to try and be a mommy again. I can hardly wait until I get pregnant again and I'm in the "safe zone". I know it sounds weird, but I look forward to that day I'm yelling in pain over labor... it means my little one will finally be here! Pain that is well worth the result. Baby dust to all and God bless! Renee
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
hello all,
i was due for my 12 wk scan on wed 23rd july,i was so looking forward to telling my family and friends,unfortunally i had some pains in my left hand side and phoned my doctor,he booked me in for a scan the following day,ive never been so scared in all my life,my partner came in with me,i couldnt bring myself to look at the  screen and looked at him instead,i knew there was something wrong when it was so quiet.
i had lost my baby at 8 and a half weeks,i feel totally lost and that my body is useless,im 33 and have been trying for a baby for 4 yrs we were just about to start ivf after having 5 rounds of iui treatment,but i was caught naturally,which i know is a good thing but just feel so sad and lonely,all my friends are pregnant which is really hard for me,so im finding some comfort that im not alone.
im sending baby dust to you all
hilaryxxxx
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
HI all, I have never been on a site like this before but its 5am, I cant sleep and no one to talk to.  I had a D and C yesterday and miscarried at 12 weeks, just before my scan.  I found out at the scan when they couldnt find my baby's heart beat.  I feel devestated as I am 35 and feel like my biological clock is ticking but slowing down.  I understand how you feel about all your friends being pregnant, my sisters both have babies and my best friend is 6months and i cant help resenting them all.  I was told to wait until i have one normal period and then try again but I know that wait will be pure agony.  I just know that I am not alone and there are women out there who understand my pain and loss and I really hope that we all go on to have healthy and happy children. x x Karen
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I too have no one to talk to and I feel I am going through this miscarriageby myself.  This was my 4th pregnancy, and for some reason I just felt it couldn't happen to me.  My family and I were in a middle of a move (military), and I found out just before we had to leave.  After spending 2 weeks in a hotel with 3 kids 4 and under we got into the new house a week before christmas.  3 days before christmas I felt a wetness in my underwear.  When I went to look I was bleeding.  I was alarmed but had no pain.  After calling the nurse line, I was advised to go to the er.  And there after the most painful sonogram I have ever had, (if I had known what they were going to do to me, I would have stayed home!!) I was told the babe, was no longer.  I was suppose to be around 9 weeks, but the babe was only 6 wks and a matter of days and of course no heatbeat.
I was sent home with some pain medication, and that was that.  Christmas day I had labour pains and passed the loss.
This is such an incredible loss, yet I feel I have no right to grieve as I already have 3 amazing kids.  
I just wish it was all over so I can get on with trying again.  The midwife i saw a day later said to wait 2-3 months.  
I am just a bundle of emotions, but I do just want to get on the band wagon and try again.   But did I have this miscarriage because I have had 3 babies close together?  Oh what to do?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
hi 4 weeks ago i found out i had a misscarriage i was 14 and a half weks but the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks 5 days i gt the d&c and i was bleeding for around 2 weeks after and i am waiting on my cycle to return!when i found out i was preganat i was devastated as i am only nearly 20 but i got used to the idea and i had made all the plans i am desperate to be a mammy now and half of me wants to try in 3 mnths and the other half says be young when ur young but i yarn for a baby now and im just really confused!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I have just been through a m/c 3 weeks ago. Something that my Husband and I have done to help us get through the loss, is we have named our baby.
And when we can, my husband is going to build a box and we are going to bury the baby under a tree when we move into our own house. (I passed the sack at home after being released from hospital after they couldn't find the heartbeat, so it is in a jar in our freezer till we move). We have a 1yr old son and just seeing his gorgeous, smiling face has also helped so much.
If you every get the chance, get a book Titled: Jesse, found in heaven. By Chris Pringle. It's a beautiful book about her own loss and how she and her Husband got through it :-)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Well I had a miscarriage last week:(  I thought I was 9weeks but scan showed that the baby was only 6weeks when it stopped growing.  I had started bleeding before my scan so sort of figured it was going to be bad news. But it's still awful to hear the words 'sorry, there is no heartbeat'. I'm so disappointed and very sad about it all. My husband and I decided to try in March and fell pregnant very quickly, we thought we were so lucky! We had both mentally and emotionally prepared ourselves for being parents and now just feel completely numb and empty. We really want to keep positive and try again as soon as I feel physically and emotionally able too. My miscarriage was natural and like most people here, we've heard mixed things about when you can try again.  The lady that did our scan said there is no need to wait a full cycle if we didn't want to as the body heals up pretty quickly. But from what we've read it seems the standard waiting time is 1-3 months. I don't think I could wait 3 months. We'd made up our minds to be parents and I feel we just have to keep trying till we are able to make that happen. I'm terrified though that this may happen again, I don't think I could cope with that. I wish this hadn't happend as I'm going to be a nervous wreck next time round (if we lucky enough to fall pregnant again),
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Maternal & Child Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Children's Health Answerers
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
134578_tn?1404951303
Blank
AnnieBrooke
OR
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
arlandonbloom
CO
4851940_tn?1385441629
Blank
jemma116
United Kingdom
4268628_tn?1375044776
Blank
Flickan
Monroe, WA
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
Bsmom09