I didnt think it would happen to me

Well, it happened.  I didn't think it would ever happen to me but it did.  I was eight weeks pregnant.  Yesterday I started spotting.  Spotting turned into bleeding and then came the cramps and back pains.  I went to the emergency room and after getting the positive results for my pregnancy test, they decided to do an ultrasound.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than being so excited to be pregnant and then seeing an empty uterus. I don't know what to do now.  Everyone around me wants to just pat me on the back and have me move on with my life.  I'm sad.  I'm heartbroken.  I don't want to just move on with my life.  I want it to be okay.  I guess this isn't a question.  I guess I don't care if no one writes back or if no one reads it.  I just needed to say that i'm really sad.  I'm really sad.

[poohfan]

i am sorry this happened, i will pray for you,

[Jenny100]

Oh honey I am SO SO SO sorry. I know the heartbreak of a miscarriage. I had one last September at 16 weeks. I had seen a perfectly active beautiful baby at 12 weeks on the ultrasound. He/she was kicking, turning, very much alive. At 16 weeks, dead.

There is nothing to say that will relieve your pain. I know. I wanted so much to be relieved of the deep pain, but only time can do that.
But believe me, the day will come when the pain isn't so raw. It's hard to imagine right now, but there will come a time when it doesn't CONSUME you like it's doing right now.

I can only say I am very very sorry. There are many women on this site that know how you are feeling, and I did find some comfort in that.

I will pray for you tonight sweetie. I am so very sorry and wish I could give you a hug.

[lyndsea]

Hi i hope you are doing ok or as well as can be expected i am sorry to hear of your loss. I know how you feel only wednesday last week did i myself have a miscarriage and it was heart breaking. I was 8 weeks. I had my ultrasound appointment booked for 2 week and the day it was to be done was thursday. Wednesday night we the hardest thing i have ever been through. It was all over within 30 mins and when i told my husband he was devistated. I did still have the u/s done not for hope i was wrong as new i had expelled the sack but ensure there was nothing left incase of infection but it was still crushing to be told that there was nothing left to even hint there was ever a pregnancy. All people know what to say is sorry but other then that they dont know how to help you stop herting. And i found that it didn't really help when people try to understand your pain and tell you it happened for a reason because the pain and sorrow you feel is like non other. My husband was going to take the day off work but i told him not to because i just felt i needed to be alone. I called some family members and talked to them about it which i found helped for a little while. Ultimatly i know that in the end its you/me who has to help yourself/myself heal and move on but for now i dont try to hide or supress my greef i just let it all come out. I hope you find the strength to overcome your pain and sorrow. I tell you what this sight if full of people who do care and understand it is an amazing sight and a few posts people did for my story did help so don't ever hesitat to post something, anything, there will always be someone out there who will relpy to your post. Be brave and be strong.

[tina1111]

I am so sorry. There isn't anything anyone can say or do that will make you feel better right now. I mc at 12 wks in Jan. I had dh go to work (we work together)and tell everyone not to say anything at all to me about. I just couldn't take another person telling me we could try again or everything happens for a reason, etc. Just know we do care and far too many of us know exactly how you feel. ((hugs)) I am really sorry.

[Danij]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.  We had been trying for 4 yrs before we finally got pregnant, everything looked fantastic, we had a ultrasound at 6 weeks are saw our little bean, then at 7 weeks i just started bleeding, fearing the worse we went in to find our little bean still going, we'd had a threatened m/c, i was put on progesterone, i had scans at 8 and 9 weeks where bubs was doing great, then a week after that i noticed just a little brown discharge and dicided to have it checked out, went in to find our little baby dead.  It really was the most heartbreaking thing i've been through.

We started ivf again 6 weeks after the D&C, and got pregnant straight away again, and couldn't beleive it when at 6 weeks i started bleeding badly, went into the er to find baby dead again.  I was totally shocked that it could happen once let alone twice!!

We were taking a break for awhile to let myself relax alittle as for so long all i had been focused on was ttc, about 7 weeks after our 2nd m/c, we learnt we were 6 weeks pregnant. That was a total shock for us, i'm now 17 weeks and everything is looking up.

My advice is take it easy, and don't rush back into things too soon, let yourself grieve for your little one, as i know when we lost ours the comments we got made me feel that cause we weren't really that far in their eyes our baby wasn't worth grieving for and the worst one i got was your young at least you know now you can pregnant,  you'll have another one,  it wasnt the point,  i wanted that baby,  nothing could ever replace that baby.

[michellejune]

I'm so very sorry. That sounds like exactly what happened to me. I didn't want to speak to anyone or have anyone grief with me or tell me it would be ok. I just wanted to grief on my own. It was awful.
That was November 06, 2 months later I was pg again and I think this was the healthy baby I was meant to have. My husband and I decided the first one wasn't meant to be for some reason, but we do believe our lil baby is watching over us and making sure things go well this time around.

[BusyMom92960206]

I too am sorry for you and no it hurts!  I have been their myself and it was one of the worst things I have ever been through.  It has been two years ago this month and it is something that I still think about a lot.  I was 11w4d when I went to the ER because something didn't feel right, I had been spotting and my back was a little achy.  Just as soon as I got back there my water broke and there was nothing that could be done, it was over.  Just like that, my world shattered!  After three cycles I was given the ok to try again.  This was in June, and I fell pregnant again.  I was only 5 weeks when I started cramping this time but it had already been confirmed by a blood test that I was preggo.  Anyway, I went to the ER once again to start spotting to find out that my HCG level had already dropped to under a 5.  It was technically a chemical pregnancy and I would have known nothing about it, if I hadn't been keeping up with things....is that supposed to make it easier????  NO...why do people say some things?  Well, I was through, couldn't go through the heartbreak and pain anymore.  I had three beautiful children already.  Then in October, I found out I was pregnant again, I was shocked, panicked, scared....I was not able to enjoy the pregnancy so to speak.  I kept giving myself goals.  If you make it to 12weeks, 16,20,24,28,32, etc.  you know?  But in June/06 I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy!  And then guess what, I found out in Oct/06 I was preggo again.  I now have a 9 month old and am almost 28 weeks with a little girl.  Kind of close together, but wouldn't change it for the world!  Keep you head high, because you time is coming.  I will say a prayer for you!

[csl04c]

I know it is the worst pain to feel, and all I can tell you is to pray for strength to get through this.  The time will come very soon for you when you to have a baby.  You just have to believe that God is looking over you and will. make sure you are happy. But, you do have to try to be happy--it will be hard for a bit, biut let the pain subside on your time.

[lynne1276]

I am so sorry.   I have been there too.   My due date for my baby should have been last Monday.  I can't help but thinking I should be home holding my baby instead of at work right now.  It does get better, i promise.  I cried for months thinking why did this happen to me.  I am 19w preg again and pray everyday that I will hold my baby in August.  You will never forget your little angel but someday you will have one to hold.  

[waitingwithhope]

I am so sorry! It is heartbreaking to lose a baby and a dream at the same time. I know what it is like to already love the baby growing inside of you and then to get hopes dashed. I don't think anyone ever gets over it, you just find more peace than before as time goes on. Take time to grieve and surround yourself with supportive and understanding people.

[rita02]

i am soo sorry for your loss! there aren't any words that can express my sympathy. even after my second and third mc i kept thinking surely this can't possibly happen to me again!! well needless to say i have lost 6 babies! it is very uncommon for a woman to mc this many times so don't let me scare you. hang in there and grieve and be sad for your baby. that is ok to do and very neccesary for healing. you are in my prayers..God BLess!!

[boosty]

all i have to say even though i havent experienced your pain ( i am deeply sorry for your loss)., is that you dont have to move on so fast like others expect you to . give yourself time to grief and thats the only way you will learn to move on one day when youre ready. this hurts i am positive and i wish noone would ever experience this, but the truth of the matter is that it happens to alot of women . and i wish you a quick recovery and hope that God will bless you with a beautiful little on very soon. i read a chicken soup story one time that will stay in my heart and mind forever. it was abouit a women that went through the same thign you did and she lost the baby and when she had another child in the future, she named her hope and when hope turned four years old, she told  her mom, "you werent ready for me the first time, but i am here now". i will never forget that story. keep positive and i hope you heal soon. remember , this site is filled with loving women who are here to listen and help you all they can. youre not alone, i know i never feel alone here. hugs to you .
vista

[jennyb473]

I wish there was something more I could say than I am truly sorry for your loss.  I am in the midst of my 4th m/c now - actually had a D&E yesterday.  I just want you to know that it is perfectly normal for you to feel everything and anything you feel.  People will tell you things they think are helpful, just take it as best you can and when you need to cry....cry....when you need to be alone, be alone.....when you need to tell people thank you for your support, but not now....then tell them that.  No one can understand what you are going thru unless they have gone thru it too.  Tell them that even if it is uncomfortable.  I have found that to be helpful in some respects....but the biggest thing you can do now is grieve and take care of yourself and it will slowly, day by day get a little easier to deal with and eventually life will get back to "normal" for you and you will be able to move on.  Just take it a day at a time and be reassured that all the feelings you are having are ok to have - everyone grieves and deals with it differently and it is ok to just be sometimes...good luck and again I am so sorry for your loss.

[PGB]

I'm sorry for all this being on you.  No one deserves to have to suffer through the loss of a child.  Whatever you do, take all the time that you need to grieve.  Don't let anyone push you to "act" like you are feeling better before you are.  Take that time and do your grieving however long you need to.  Everyone is different...it might only take one persons a short while to accept things and move on and it might take another a very long time to accept it and move on.  And we all grieve in different ways.  Do what's best for you.  Take care of yourself.  And I know how hard it is, I've been there, but try to remember that these people who are telling you that it will be okay, that at least you weren't very far along, and that it happened for a reason, they really do mean well.  There's just nothing anyone can say or do to make it better and yet everyone feels like they should say something.  That drove me crazy, when my family and friends told me over and over again that it would be ok, and that it happened for a reason.  I didn't (and don't care) it doesn't matter that it happened for a reason, it nearly killed me anyway.  Regardless of why.  

[over40club]

I'm so sorry to hear about your lose...I too had a miscarriage ...my first pregnancy at 101/2 weeks....10 yrs. ago...I still think about it now esp. on Dec 10 the date I had a D&C. I now have 3 healthy children. MC is so hard...let yourself grieve but I can say that yes over time it gets better. God Bless and I'll say a prayer for you.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I lost two children to mc and I sure know how you are feeling right now.  I wish I had magic words that could make it all better.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.