so matt has absolutly no patients with our 10 month old daughter.. and its starting to irritate the heck out of me.. he lets her fall asleep on him then when he goes to move her to the crib she wakes up and screams bloody murder and he is so impatient that after about 2 minutes he tells me to go calm her down.. and i tell him not to let her fall asleep on him and this wouldn't happen...argh! and when hes feeding her if she turns her head.. to look at something else he says ' im done' and that it .. hes done feeding her.. and when he changes her if she kicks or turns he gets upset and yells at her.. now my dh is a very caring person i just dont know what has gotten into him.. he has extremly high blood pressure and he refuses to take any meds for it.. so i dunno if that has something to do with the fact that he has absolutely no patients..
Generally babies at this age prefer one parent over the other, usually the mom. My DD is a mommy's girl but we haven't given up having her spend as much time as possible with her daddy.
Try to let your DH do his own thing with her and don't worry if she does fall asleep with him or that it might take you longer to go back and put her to sleep. She is bonding iwth him during this and even if it is frustrating to have to go and "re-do" things, allow it to happen and compliment his skills as much as possible.
Based on his reactions and his yelling, he is taking her behavior personally. Assure him it is NOTHING personal and that all babies are like this and that most babies actually prefer their father closer to the age of one. At two, sometimes they only want daddy! So let him know too the time will come when his daughter only wants him.
Put your DH in situations where he can be successful. Men are programmed to "succeed" and any failure and they take it personally. While it is not a failure if she kicks or screams or doesn't do something immediately, he sees it as that and it is frustrating. Make sure you talk this out with him because men can get to the point where they want nothing to do with the baby because each time they feel like they are unsuccessful and therefore have failed.
My DH continues to try and we make sure that he has time with our DD that is different- he plays with her, tickles her and makes her laugh and holds her when she is sleeping. Right now, my DD is really sick and my DH has taken over holding her and gently talking to her and she actually wants that right now.
So, make sure that he can be successful as much as possible and let him know everything she is doing is natural and babies can be like that..that he is doing a GREAT job (men need to hear this).
All the best!!
Honey, he should not be yelling at her. No matter if he gets frustrated and wants to walk away, an adult shouting at a 10-month-old is really hard on the child. Can you talk to him, at a time when he is calm, about this part of it? A lot of guys get sort of jealous that the mother's time and attention all the time go to the baby. Maybe you could start with that, and ask if this is a problem for him. Then go from there.
I agree that it is not appropriate for him to yell at her.
My DH used to have a lot of frustration with our son when he was younger and would cry and refuse to be comforted. I remember one day in particular when my son was only weeks old that he ultimately put him down and left the room saying, "let him figure it out." I explained to him that babies can't "figure it out." That's why they have parents. We have to teach them.
I think it also helped him when I told him that babies could sense tension, and that if he wanted our son to be calm, he needed to be calm.
Over time though, he has become quite the pro. Even when our son is hard dh keeps a cool head and is gently persistent, showing not even the smallest hint of frustration.
I would just try to explain things to your dh when he is not in the situation, then stay out of his way so he can learn. I agree that it sounds like your dh is taking her behavior very personally, when it is really normal 10-month old behavior. Most men are just clueless about what babies are like. I know it's hard to follow behind him, and perhaps you can explain this to him, but in the end, he needs to find his own way without worrying that you are looking over his shoulder.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.