I think this is the beginning of my second miscarriage...

MicheleB and KellieD - thanks for showing concern for me.  Unfortunately, I don't think good wishes are going to save this one.  My bleeding has turned red now, and although it's not abundant, I have a lot of cramping at this point.  I have basically given up hope already.  Hubby is upset with me because he thinks I should be positive, and try to remain positive until I see what's going on in the ultrasound tomorrow.  It's hard to be positive when I've already been through this once.  I just 'feel' that it's over.  The disturbing thing was that my first visit with the midwife was today, and it was supposed to be to gather family medical history, etc.  Well, I told her what was going on, and she just talked about it briefly, then went onto her normal explanation of everything, the 4 food groups, labour and delivery, episiotomy, etc... I was thinking 'Hello??? I am likely having a miscarriage!  Can we talk about THAT for a second?'  Her priorities seemed completely out of whack.  Twins run in my family (my mom is a twin and I have twin cousins etc) and my hubby has just had a 'feeling' that I'm carrying twins.  Could it be that I'm miscarrying one of the twins?  Again, this is just me reaching for hope.  If there's not more than one baby in there, I don't think there's anything alive at this point.  No heartbeat has been found.  I'm very sad right now and don't have much hope for this pregnancy... and it's funny, I thought that at 12 weeks I was pretty much in the clear... funny how life teaches us lessons so cruelly. :(

[mmg9603]

I am so sorry this is happening to you!!!! You are in my prayers and thoughts.

[Siren]

Thank you for your kind words - I need all the support I can get at this point.  I know it's crazy to wonder after one, and probably two, miscarriages if I can ever carry to term, but it has me wondering if I am ever meant to have children.  The midwife told me that if it is a miscarriage and doesn't expel naturally, they wait SIX WEEKS to do a D&C!  Does this seem right?  I can't go through over a month of bleeding and cramping again (did that last year).  I need closure - need to get on with life.

[mmg9603]

I am so sorry. 6 weeks does seem like an awfully long time. I too am pregnant, almost 9 weeks. Last Friday I went to the ER due to blood spots in my panties. It turns out nothing was wrong and I am having twins. I went in thinking I was miscarrying one and I gained a second by the time I came out. What I am trying to say is to keep your chin up sweetie and think positively. The whole time, I kept telling myself everything was okay. If you are concerned about a miscarriage, go to the ER. They are awfully nice and very helpful!!! Maybe they can answer your questions. If you need to talk ever, I am here!! I am sorry!!!

[nurse12hr]

I am so sorry this is happening to you.  It does sound like the midwife has her head screwed on backwards--it is important to address the issue at hand, before talking about episiotomies.

Did she send you to the OB with the onset of the bleeding?  I think that midwifery is great for normal, uncomplicated pregnancies, but if you are experiencing a pregnancy complication, you should be seen by an OB.

It is certainly possible to miscarry a twin.

Don't let them railroad you into waiting 6 weeks for a d&c if it should come to that.  Wait, only if you are comfortable, but when it gets to be too much, tell them that emotionally you can't take it anymore.

Be seen by a high risk OB (if things turn out badly this time) for your next pregnancy.  You CERTAINLY can have a normal, healthy term baby after several miscarriages, but attention needs to be placed on why they are occuring.

My best wishes to you.

[ZacksMom03]

They want to wait 6 weeks to a D&C?  If they confirm that you are indeed having a m/c, they need (and should) do the D&C immediately, unless you decide to let nature takes it's course, and wait for your body to finish the process.

I have been through m/c before (4 times).  Do not give up hope on having a child, m/c does not mean you are meant not to have children.  I know this, as I have a little boy (after my 3rd m/c).

I have you in my prayers!

[Siren]

Thank you for your support.  I just can't even think straight right now - I can't stop sobbing.  I don't know how to think positive at this point.  No, they didn't send me to the ER or to an OB due to my bleeding.  Just an ultrasound for tomorrow - the earliest they could get me in.  I've been told that after 3 miscarriages they'll start to examine the cause.  I can't imagine going through this again - in addition to this time.  I am so scared of passing the baby!!  My first m/c was at 5 weeks so there was literally nothing to be seen but blood.  But this time it would be about 3 inches long.  I'm terrified of seeing a tiny baby in my toilet bowl, and then collecting it to take to the doctor.  I just cannot make myself think anything but horrible thoughts right now........

[ZacksMom03]

Go to the ER, I would not wait until the u/s tomorrow.  You need to get seen immediately.

[Siren]

okay the MAJOR bleeding just started - big clots etc.  Maybe I'll be 'LUCKY' and pass this one quickly.  I can't even think straight.  If my bleeding gets really excessive should I just go to the ER or what?  What if I can't wait for the ultrasound tomorrow?

[ZacksMom03]

You need to go to the ER now!

[micheleB]

I am so sorry you are going through this, I saw your post, and all I could think of was No, No, No, don't let it be happening to her.  I agree with the other ladies, go to the ER now!  I will be thinking about you.

[nurse12hr]

If you are saturating a pad an hour, go to the ER.  Or if you are in a lot of pain.

Good luck, and I am so sorry.

[Siren]

That's why I'm NOT going to the E.R. - because I don't fit the parameters.  I'm not soaking pads and not hemorrhaging, and I've been told those are the reasons to go to the E.R.  All the doctors and midwives told me was to just wait and have the ultrasound tomorrow.  I don't think there's anything the E.R. could do for me at this point - last year they just told me I'd have to go home and miscarry it naturally, which is what I'm doing now.  I totally understand why people are telling me I should go, and if it becomes horrible, I will, but this is not worse than what I went through last year, and I did that all on my own.  I'm not an idiot, though - if I start hemmorhaging, I'll go to the hospital.  It's just scary not to know what's going to happen next.  Is it common to just lose the whole sac at once?  I don't know how you miscarry a baby that's 3 inches long... has this happened to anyone?

[nanakay]

my mother lost a baby right before she got pg with me and yes she lost it all at once. not to be gross or anything, but she didn't know she was loosing it and thought she had to go to the bathroom and lost it in the toilet. i don't know about now but they made her fishit out of the toilet and take it to the doctor.

i am very sorry i wish we could all pray hard enough to make this stop. know that you are in my prayers and your baby
~nanci

[Kassimom]

I am so very sorry for your pain and worry right now. I know how hard it is to be optimistic and while I woudl love to say keep your chin up it may be nothing, chances are at this point, just from what you describe, it is. Again, I am so sorry. If it will ehlp, get someone to sit with you and listen while you cry and share your sorrow. I wanted to be alone myself, but I regretted that later. As for seeing an actual baby, there is a possibilty that the baby had stopped growing long before you realized. So you may actaully see nothing but large clots, and nothing that resembles a baby.

Again, I am so sorry and regardless of what the standards to recieve care are, I would makea  trip to the ER. At the very least, they can give you something to help you sleep for the next couple of days. An antidepressant or something. I was so glad to recieve the pain med for my first m/c. It helped me sleep for the next couple or days till I could clear my head.

[JustME9]

I'm SO SO sorry you are going through this turmoil right now.  I'm SO sad thinking of you and what you are going through..I really do understand and I've been right where you are all the way down to hubby's comments.  I'm so sorry.  I wish I could say SOMETHING to help you feel better, but I know that I can't.  Just know that you are in my heart today and you can ALWAYS email me if you need to talk.  I'm sorry! My email is ***@**** feel free anytime - really! (((((HUGS))))) and a caring, sad shoulder to lean on anytime!

[Niki73]

I am so sorry. I had three miscarriages and yes they make you wait for that many before they start testing! My d & C's were done right away not 6 weeks later. I can't imagine waiting for 6 weeks to pass the fetus I would be afraid of infection. I don't know if this will make you feel any better but after my third miscarriage they did do testing and found that my HCG levels were low and gave me progesterone injections twice a week and I did finally deliver a healthy baby girl...Don't give up I know all the thoughts you are having it is normal but there is hope! I had one doctor tell me he thought it was a chromsome problem and this is without testing and told me I would probably never have childeren....I was devasted..but proved him wrong!!!!!!!!!!This loss will just make your baby that much more precious to you - you will have children try to stay strong I've been there I know what you are going through. Your right about the ER they just sent me home also to miscarry on my own or set up an appointment with obgyn. I hate the er they are so cold there.Thinking of you....

[summerofedens]

Hi siren,,,,,Im in and out of here reading and reading, myself trying for another baby...
I read your post and I can't express my feelings for you...
You were asking if anyone has passed a baby at 3 inches long,,,,,
I did,,,,it started out as mild bleeding then bright red blood which turned into clots,,,its was horrible,,,,back pain
time passed and a few weeks later, a piece of what I called my "baby" came out of me,,,I was shocked I couldnt believe it,,,it was about the size of my index finger and it was full of veins dark purple/red and I couldnt believe it,,it was my baby,,,I was not told at the hospital that this would happen so it was kind of freaky for me.....
I just wanted to inform anyone, that that is how it happened for me,,,,,,
I thought i lost the baby in all that blood, but it was weird and didnt happen until weeks later.....
If you have any questions that I can answer, please ask,,,,,I know alot of woman on here have been through miscarriages and I want to give as much info as i possible can......take good care of yourself,,,,,

[Steeley Ann]

OMG!!! I'm crying right just thinking of how selffish I am being. *cry* I'm so so so sorry you are going through this. I have been sitting here and been hopeing and praying that I"m not pregnant and your going through this, I feel so bad for you and I'm so sorry once again.

You'll be in my prayers.

                                    Praying for you,
                                                    Steeley

[Stacie30]

Awh Honey! :( sounds like amniotic fluid. I am soo sorry- same thing happened to me last year around this time. I was spotting- it gradually got worse with clots- I went in to have an ultrasound to check things out. I was supposed to be 12 1/2 weeks- but the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and 6 days- my heart goes out to you. I know from experience that nothing anyone can say or do will truly make this any better right now. I am so so sorry you are having to go through this.

If you are miscarrying- and it doesn't occur naturally- don't let them make you wait 6 weeks for a D&C if that's what you want to do. This is emotionally hard enough without having to endure that much physically as well.

Stacie

[Siren]

Thank you all so much - your support is really, really helping me get through this.  I love to hear the success stories, even at a time like this, giving me hope that one day I'll carry a child full term.

New development: I have a question about something that just happened to me.  I was sitting on the couch, and felt something move, or shift, or drop inside of me - very strange sensation.  Hard to describe.  I went to the bathroom and this gush of fluid came out of my vagina (it was not urine - I looked down and saw this clear fluid coming from both places).  What was it?? Amniotic fluid?  It seemed to be mostly clear with some small bits of tissue in it.  Not much blood at all.  What on earth just happened?

[Kristen26]

Hi Siren, I just got home from work and have been reading through your posts. I am so sorry! The feeling you had in your tummy, I had that happen to me too. It feels like something is pulling away doesn't it, then when I stood up I had a huge gush also. I bled heavy for several hours after that and had a complete miscarriage. I wish so badly that you are not miscarring...my thoughts and prayers are with you and DH. Please update us on how you are doing after your U/S. I wish I could say something to make you feel better right now. Hope that you know we are all thinking of you. (((hugs)))

[babygirl22]

My best friend's sister has had two successful pregnancies where she has bled and cramped like that, and thought that she was miscarrying again, and has miscarried one of two of the babies she was carrying.  Neither time she knew she was pregnant with twins.  Her doctor also told her that sometimes you bleed because some old tissue from previous miscarriages gets dislodged.  Good luck and take care of yourself.  On the d&c note, I was told to wait for quite some time as well....I hadn't even been bleeding or cramping, but an u/s showed fetal demise...and I ended up going to an abortion clinic to get it overwith and just have a d&c.  Take care.

[dawnna]

Just wanted to let you know i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.I relly wish you didnt have to go through this again. I hope and pray that when they do the u/s today that everything will be ok.Let us know how you are doing.
HUGS AND PRAYERS
Dawna

[StephW]

Hey Siren, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you as well. Sorry about having to go thru this a 2nd time, its just not right. But you have GREAT support here. Keep us posted on your condition. Are you going to go to the ER? or docs soon? Take Care and God bless.

[Kassimom]

How are you? I know we are all worried and waiting to hear how you are. I hope you got some rest and are able to let us know something soon.

[shawnesha]

I am so sorry to hear this. I know it hard to suffer the loss of one and then a possible other becuase I suffered a m/c and what doctors call a missed abortion/ chemical pregnancy and I wish it had been different, hopefully faith and deliverance finds your door step and a miracle happens for you guys but for now I agree with the others you should see someone today if it's as bad as you say it is, I heard that there's a medicine that they can give you to help prevent a possible m/c if it's caught at the early stages. Go to the ER...

[dawnna]

Hugs to you.I am so sorry this happend. I wish their was something i could say or do to make this all better,But i know their is not.I know what its like to lose a baby. I m/c our frist baby in dec,03. I just want you to know that my heart gos out to you and your DH. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.I am so sorry.
HUGS
Dawna

[Siren]

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers - it means so much to have this support, esp. since none of my friends even knew I was pg (we were waiting until 14 weeks to tell).  After I lost the amniotic fluid, about an hour later, I passed a clot the size of my fist.  I fished it out of the toilet and called a 24-hour nurse hotline.  They told me to go straight to the E.R.  When I got there, I passed two more clots, the same size, and they just kept coming.  They inserted the speculum and pulled out a whole bunch more.  The doc told me it was my uterine wall shedding itself.  I stayed overnight and just continually bled clots in the hospital bed.  They gave me some demerol for the pain at around 3 a.m.  I had an ultrasound this morning and it showed a closed cervix with no contents.  So, long story short, it looks like the whole miscarriage was complete in about 12 hours.  I'd say I lost about 10-12 clots the size of my fist, along with regular bleeding.  Luckily for me, I didn't have to see the fetus.  I couldn't see anything that resembled it, so it must have been in a sac or something that looked similar to the uterine wall clots.  We're both (hubby and me) very sad and upset about this - I just feel empty again.  I lost about 6 lbs in one day.  I lost all that blood and wasn't allowed to eat or drink for 24 hrs b/c they thought I might need a D&C.  Thank Goodness I didn't.  Thanks again for the well wishes - you guys have been such a great support.  Going to bed now - I'll write more tomorrow. xoxo

[wannabemom]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  You'll be in my prayers.

[Still a mom]

I am so sorry. I know you must being feeling horrible. I don't even know what to say. I will be praying for you. I am glad that you did not see the baby come out, if that is what you wanted. I know some find it easier that way. I am so sorry. I feel like crying for you. I will be thinking about you and your husband.
Mandi

[JuliaB]

I have just read your sad news, my heart goes to you this a dreadful time for you and your partner, please don't give up hope.I suffered 3 misses in 3 years it was devastating our lives. Please seek help ask your doctor to ref you for misscariage invesitgation I did  and now have twins I was pertified to fall pregnant again but it worked with continual medical monitering during my first few months.
Get lots of rest and try to be posative.
My loving thoughts are with you.

[nurse12hr]

I am so sorry about what happened.  Hopefully you can begin to heal from here.

Don't let anyone tell you that you "have" to have 3 miscarriages before they will begin investigating why.  Start interviewing new doctors as soon as you feel ready.  Take your time, and find one you feel positive about.

But do give yourself plenty of time to heal, physically and emotionally.

My prayers are with you.

[JustME9]

Just wanted you to know I have been thinking about you all day and all night last night.  I have been right where you are and understand.  I know nothing any of us can say will take that empty feeling away but we do understand.  We can cry with you and listen and just know that I care! I'm so sad for you and just wanted you to know you're on my mind and in my prayers..you and your hubby =( I'm sorry! ((Hugs))) Kellie

[Kristen26]

I'm sorry Siren, I've been thinking of you all day. I'm sorry for the emptyness you feel right now. I've been there and I wish no one else would have to go though such a terrible thing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[stinasmom]

Please call other DR's. These women are right, not all Dr's will make you have 3 to help! My daughter twice lost her babies, no bleeding,cramping,nothing. Just heartbeat stop. Her Dr. at that point ran all kinds of tests to find out why. No results, but the point was there was no medical reason for it! She now has a beautiful 18 month old baby girl! Investigate and see what you find! Good luck to you, it will happen, I'm sure!

[lizanne]

I just logged on after a week off-- I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It sounded like exactly what had happened to me in May, so I know how absolutely horrible it is.
I just wanted to let you know that they told me that all the pregnency tissue was gone and that I didn't need a d&c (after an ultrasound)... but I ended up bleeding for 6 weeks and FINALLY the doctor did the d&c and afterwards said that it was good they did, because there had actually been "quite a bit" of pregancy tissue left.  From the amount of stuff that fell out of my body, I can't imagine that much was left... but you don't want any left-over tissue interfering with your next pregnancy.

[redwritergirl]

Try not to worry just yet. My sister had alot of bleeding during her early pregnancy..I mean ALOT, blood clots, etc.  She bled for 2 wks straight.  A few months later she bled again. She carried a healthy baby to full term. NO complications.  Some women still get a few cycles during pregnancy.  Try not to worry...when do you go to the doctor again? Can they do an ultrasound or check your HCG?