If you are or did co-sleep, advice needed!

My 4.5 month old son wakes up about every 3 hours.  Needless to say it is exhausting and I am not the type to let them CIO (tried, but I thought I would have a nervous breakdown!).  So we put him to bed in his crib at night (8 pm)with any problems and then between 11 and 1 am he wakes and I take him to bed with me until we start our day around 7 am.  I would love to be able to put him back to his crib because I feel this is the only way he will ever sleep through the night, but he ends up crying so much that I spend the next 2 hours trying to get him back to sleep and that only leaves me about 1 hour of sleep before he is up again.  Therefore, I get more sleep when I just bring him to bed with me.  My questions:

1) Will he eventually just sleep all night in his crib since he starts there and I won't have to break the habit of co-sleeping?
2) Have I just set myself up to sleeping with him for years?!  At what age should I break this?  Or do they break it themselves?  

What advice do you have??

TIA!
Mollie

[luvmy2boyz]

I am in the same predicament!! My 1st son started sleeping with us at about a year old (mind you he slept all nite at 9 weeks and then went backwards)...now he is almost 4 and still sleeps with us.  Now my 9 month old is in with us after he wakes in the middle of the nite.   I dont know what to do!!

[Mom2be530]

I'm a co-sleeper and will soon be one again.  My son is 5 now.  When he was born he had acid reflux and colic so anymore crying was just killing me.  I bought a co-sleeper.  Its like a little bed that is shaped like a crip but attaches to your bed.  Then your baby has its own space like it was in a crib, but you are an arms length away.  Then you don't have to worry about the baby smothering or rolling over on it.  Jack and I worked better together as cosleepers.  I'm a single parent so I really didn't mind him being in bed with me later on, but it really wasn't that bad getting him to go to sleep in his own bed.  I'll be cosleeping again with this baby.  I got mine at www.armsreach.com I love their products and even if you don't buy one from them you should check it out and see what options are avalible to you.  Hope this helps.  And Jack pretty much broke himself with the moving to his bed thing.

[cantwait4baby]

I hear you with all these questions.  I am lucky enough to have a baby that sleeps through the night, she was in a cradle in our room for 4 months and then a pack and play.  At 5 months I decided to put her into her crib in her own room, then she started to wake up.  Not to eat just to see us.  I then started to just put her in my bed as long as it was past 5am because we would be getting up soon anyway.  She gradually stoped waking up and is now in her own bed again - but an update to this, I had to move her back into the pack n play in our room because she had a seizure and I have to have her near me.

i think it is hard to break them from it once they start.  Try to do it gradually.  Maybe one night let him sleep one night dont?  It is a hard subject.  I know people who's kids still sleep with them and they are over the age of 10 :(

[jenstam]

I am sorry I can't help you. I am in the same boat. My son is 4.5 months (born 7-14) and goes to bed in his bassinet around 10 or so at night. The bassinet is next to our bed. The first time he wakes up to nurse he stays in bed with us the rest of the night. Just thought I'd let you know you're not alone (:

[AndiJ78]

I have co-slept with all my kids and am co-sleeping with my youngest right now. I did that until my kids weaned at 14/15 mos respectively. We made a smooth transition to their own rooms and beds about a month after they weaned.

I think it is natural to co-sleep. It seemed to go against every fiber of my being to put them somewhere else to sleep. It worked well for me as a nursing mom and my kids are very independent sleepers now.

[kierstynsmommy]

my 2 year old daughter has slept with us since day one. I am now almost 29 weeks and I am not going to let him sleep with us. I have learned my lesson! My daughter started sleeping through the night and then about 3 am she would wake up and be wide awake so when she would wake, i would just bring her to the bed...up until about 5 months ago, that was our routine..she would go to sleep in her own bed, but then come to our bed in the middle of the night. Now that my husband is gone (military) she sleeps with me all the time. I dont know what to do when Ayden gets here...i only have 10 more weeks to make that decision...just wanted to let you know that you are not alone once again!

[newbie2b]

I put my daughter back into her crib and about 5 months. She was getting to big to sleep with us and rolling all over the place.  She woke up for the 1-2 weeks. I would give her her binky and turn her on her side and she'd fall back to sleep.  If she wakes up to early for me (like 5am) I take her into bed with me and make her sleep til 7 ;)
Anyway, have you tried to give her a binky?  She ended up getting use to it and sleeping through. I mean, she still makes some noises and complains but, she doesnt actually wake up.  Good luck

[SeeingSpots]

We co-slept for the first 6 months, until I introduced table food (nursing only until then).  At that point I started off nursing him to sleep in our bed, then I'd move him to his crib (in his room) when he was sound asleep.  He'd usually wake me up around 1am, and at that point I'd collect him from the crib and bring him back to bed until I got up and started our day.  Also, during this point I would also always put him down for his morning/afternoon naps the same way (nursing to sleep in our bed with me, then moved to his room).  He gradually got use to waking up in his crib/room, and it wasn't a scary place to be any more. Once he hit 9 months and was eating a lot of table food, I started nursing him, but putting him down in his crib awake, so he'd learn to "self soothe".  If he'd wake up at night, I'd collect him and bring him back to bed with us.  I didn't want the crib/his room to be a traumatic experience.  By the time I weaned at 11 months (he stopped wanting to nurse),  he was already sleeping through the night.  I had my dh take over as the one who puts him down in his crib at night after his bath/story time.  He does GREAT, and although he doesn't usually fall right asleep at 7:30pm, he entertains himself playing with his Ocean Wonder's crib toy or talking/babbling to himself.  (Same with in the AM; he wakes up around 6:30am, but he just entertains himself for however long it takes for me to get up and dressed and go and collect him-- be it an hour or two!! Yeah, we're very lucky!!!)
I should add that the only reason we decided to also wean him out of co-sleeping at 9 months was because by that point our son was able to roll both directions and starting to crawl,  and I was worried he'd roll right up against my dh's back or off the bed. Our bedroom isn't set up to allow a co-sleeper type of attachable crib, so it was time for him to move on to his own room.
There are lots of good articles and support sites for co-sleeping parents.  I remember reading one study that showed that by monitoring respiration, moms who sleep facing their infants have a higher level of shared CO2 levels which stimulates the baby to not get in to as deep of a sleep-- which sounds bad, but in reality is what can lead to SIDS.  Natural SIDS prevention!
Good luck!

[AndiJ78]

I will certainly miss listening to CJ sing himself to sleep. That is the key to co-sleeping, don't nurse them to sleep, feed them and then let them soothe themselves to sleep. Cj spends about 30 minutes or so singing and giggling before he sacks out.

[molldoll26]

Thanks ladies.  I think I will continue to bring Teague to bed with me after his 4 am feeding.  I told DH he needs to get up if Teague wakes before 1 am, I know he is not hungry before this time and then he can help him back to sleep.

jenshim - my boy was born the same day, 7/14!

[jenstam]

Wow! Same day...COOL (:

Are you giving solids yet? Brody wakes up several times throughout the night. I haven't given solids. Planning to wait 'til six months but feeling guilty now when I eat or drink in front of him because he stares at us now and watches the spoon or fork. I only wish he would sleep 'til four! He gets up around one, four, five...you name it. He doesn't stay up though. Just nurses himself back to sleep. It's mostly my fault though. I always just give him the boob. I need to try other things. I am just so tired, it's the easiest thing.

[molldoll26]

I 100% hear you!  I need my hubby to start helping me in the middle of the night because like you I just give the boob out of pure exhaustion and knowing that will help him fall asleep (husband is working, I am not right now - so I do most of the MOTN stuff).  We've tried CIO - was awful and I doubt I will even try it later.  

At Teague's 4 mo. check our Dr. did recommend that he start rice cereal.  He hates it and most ends up on his chin.  So yesterday I started baby oatmeal instead and he seems to like that a little more.  I have not seen a change in his sleep which makes me believe that he gets up purely just to see/sleep with us.

Teague was sleeping until 4 am shortly after 2 months.  Then at 3 months he caught the stomach flu and was hospitalized and ever since then we have had sleep issues.  I am seriously so tired I don't know what I will do when I go back to work in a month!