Infant eating/sleeping patterns

Hi there.  I have a couple of questions I am hoping someone can help me out with.  My little guy is 11 weeks old.  He was very small at birth and is now about 10.5 lbs.  His weight gain has been about 2 lbs per month and he is very healthy.  My question is that even now at 11 weeks he is still only sleeping about an hour or two at a stretch.  He is also still mainly cluster feeding and seems to want to feed constantly.  I tend to just follow his cues and work around his demands.  I am wondering if I am doing something wrong.  Should he not be sleeping for longer stretches now? Most women I know tell me their little ones were sleeping 4-5 hours at a time at this stage.  During the day he catnaps...1/2 hour at a time usually.  I keep him in the living room in his basinette or swing for his naps.  We don't worry about light or noise.  At night he sleeps in my room and I keep it dark and quiet, feeding him and putting him right back down. (he is in his own bed, we don't co-sleep, but he is in my bedroom)  I have read this is the best way to help him distinguish day from night.  He does sleep the longer stretches at night (1 to 2 hours at a time).  I am wondering if there is something I should be doing to help him sleep longer as he does get quite cranky at times and I think it is due to being overtired.  I just don't think he gets enough sleep.  Certainly not close to what I have read is recommended.  He is very alert most of the day.  Is this something that just changes as he gets older/bigger, or should I be doing something differently?  Thanks for any advice and suggestions, I appreciate it.

[waitingwithhope]

It sounds like you are doing everything right. It is possible he is going through a growth spurt right now. Also, small birth weight babies often get used to eating in smaller amounts because their tummy could only hold so much. Even as they get bigger, they can be "snackers" (one of mine was that way). The fact that you are routined and the fact he sleeps at night when it is dark and quiet (and sleeps more at night than during the day) is all good. Keep this up and you think you can, you could always do a lot of cluster feedings right before bed time (like in the time frame between 3-8pm) and then wait and do a larger feeding (if you can hold him off) at around 11pm. that way, you should have a bit more milk and he might get a more solid feeding (I've done this with my DD and she is around the same age and she is finally going 3-4 hours after the late feed). I wouldn't worry too much, though. Some babies snack more and the more often you feed, the more milk supply you have. Eventually he will catch up and sleep more.

[tiredbuthappy]

it's what my little ones did at this age as well. Ignore people who say that he should be sleeping longer. Some babies do sleep longer, while others do not. It's not that they should or should not. Some people get lucky, some do not. If my baby was hungry, I fed her. She wasn't waking to play, and she hungrily ate when she awoke, so I felt like feeding her was the obvious thing to do.

My first was a better sleeper than this little one. This one is 7 1/2 months and only now starting to go a 4 hr stretch at night occasionally. I have tried giving her the paci to stretch feeds, but she just keeps waking up every few minutes after until I feed her. She's just a hungry baby.

I am exhausted, but when I chose to have a baby, I knew that this might happen. I know you are not complaining but rather seeking advice so please don't think the following applies to you =)  I just get frustrated when people have babies and assume that the baby should be put on an adult schedule. Or, if people happen to have a great sleeper, they assume that everyone's baby should sleep through the night and that if your baby doesn't, then you're doing something wrong.  Babies bodies are made to feed frequently. And breastfed babies feed much more frequently because it is digested so easily and efficiently. It's unfortunate for the sleep deprived mommy, but it is what is best for the baby. I will continue to put my baby's needs before mine for as long as I need to. That's not to say you can't try little tricks to get him to sleep longer. It sounds like he's actually hungry, but if you find him just suckling for comfort, you can try a pacifier. If that doesn't satisfy him and he continues to stir, then he probably does need those feeds. You can also try white noise to help him sleep deeper. I would try to help him sleep deeper during the day, possibly by trying white noise. With both of my girls, i found that that more overtired they were, the less they slept at night. I got a great little "sleep sheep" at babies r us- it's a portable noise machine in a plush sheep. If I turn it on, the baby automatically closes her eyes if she's sleepy. If she stirs in the night, it helps her settle. It helps her take deeper naps by drowning out other noises.

good luck and know that this will pass eventually (hopefully sooner for you than it is for me!!!)

[adgal]

I'm glad my post didn't sound like I was complaining.  I am not at all.  If this is what he needs to do then so be it, and we are working around it just fine.  I am lucky to have a DH who is very involved and takes over so I can sleep every day for a 4 hour straight

stretch.  It makes a world of difference.  I also am off work until the munchkin is 1, so I can nap during the day when he does, or at least rest.  So it's fine.  I just worry that he is not getting enough sleep and it's so hard when you get so many people telling you all the things you are doing wrong. I am dealing with an anxiety issue (brought on by ppd), so I know I stress out about everything. I want him to be healthy and happy so I want to do what is right for him.  I am glad to hear others are experiencing the same thing and my little man is normal.  He just had his 2 month vaccines/check up and was declared healthy, so that made me feel better.  I am going to try to help him nap longer during the day by putting him down in his own bed for at least one nap instead of the living room as I know that if he is overtired that will affect his sleep at night as well.  I also have the sleep sheep....I love it!!  I hadn't thought of using it during the day though, I usually just use it at night.  I will give your suggestions a try, and as always, I really appreciate the advice.  Thanks to both of you!!

One quick question though...a friend of a friend has a little guy the same age as Ryder.  She said that she puts him down at 5:30 pm and he sleeps straight through to 5:30 am?  I am having trouble believing that.  Can an infant go that long without food?  I think that would worry me more...do you think it's possible?

[tiredbuthappy]

my neighbor claimed the same thing- her breastfed baby supposedly slept from 7 to 7 by 6 weeks. I never discussed it further because it's the last thing you want to hear when you're waking every hour ;) she did it by having her baby sleep in the carseat

[melimeli]

I use an ocean sound and my baby slept so much better that way she didn't hear us turning over or other disruptions.. that being said she is 23m and still doesn't sleep without waking at least once

[Victoria01]

It sounds like you are doing everything right and for those that tell you their three month old is sleeping through the night...they are full of it, LOL All babies have different sleep/eat patterns and as long as you are attentive to his needs (which you are =)) then he is doing just fine.

You can try to postpone a feeding to get him to eat more, (though that didn't work for my kids. They would eat more, yes, but then they would spit it up.) or even give him a little 'snack' when you are ready for bed (even if he is sound asleep) so that he may sleep a little longer.

I'm sure as he gets a little older more of a pattern will emerge and he will sleep longer at night. It's wonderful that DH is so supportive.

You are doing a great job with him!

[mum2beagain]

You are doing everything right, he has put a great amount of weight on but really he is only tiny still and needs lots of small feeds to keep him growing and healthy! It still may be a while before he sleeps for longer stretches, good for you for resting when he does, it really is the best thing you can do. You are doing everything right, feeding him on demand yet keeping things low key and quiet at night time. Plus with such a lovely mommy he probably wants to spend as much time with you as possible ;)

[pertykitty]

it sure can be exhausting cant it?  11 weeks is still so young, when you hear of the few babies that sleep through the night at this age you figure their parents must be fibbing lol.

i cant think of anything different at this age to help him sleep more.  some kiddos sleep more than others.  my first was a fantastic sleeper!! still will sleep 10 hours a night at 11 yrs lol.

addy, took a few years for that to happen.  just trust yourself and know in time you will sleep again and it will be a blur.  till you do it again ;)

the only thing i can think of is remembering (not saying you arent doing this already) when you feed at night keep it business.  i mean no playtime and talking and making more than a feeding then back to bed.  i honestly dont know how a mom can really do that lol, but it will help to let them know night feedings are just that.  

i hope you had fun on your easter trip, the pics of ryder are so cute and he is getting so big!!

[adgal]

You all make me feel so much better, thank you.  I feel like I am doing the right thing by him, but those that have babies that sleep longer keep telling me that his sleep patterns are basically unhealthy for him.  Some say that a baby needs a schedule, but I don't see how to do that yet.  I mean, I can't just refuse to feed him and let him scream.  And he is growing and gaining weight so it must be ok.  I hate the self doubt and I appreciate the reaffirmation, I needed to hear that.  Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it a great deal!!

[meiram]

The only advice I have is to make sure he is not too cold.  My little guy likes it nice and toasty in the room.  Not so warm that he is overheating, but comfortable.  You are not alone, my son wakes every 2 - 3 hrs at night and only takes two 30 min naps/day.  He has been doing that since almost day one, and he is 8 months.  My daughter did the same thing, and I was much more stressed about it with her than him.  I am much more relaxed this time around.  Sounds like you are doing everything right, glad your hubby helps out so you get a little sleep :)

[melimeli]

I never had a schedule for any of my three... oldest is now 13 has a schedule gets straight a's and is very creative... I say let em be free while they are young

[mami1323]

Yeah, Jayden was a pretty good sleeper but I remember by 11 weeks I questioned why he didn't sleep more.  I was just exhausted though and probably desperate for more sleep.  I think by 2 months he slept all the way through, but that was like a 5 or 6 hour stretch, not 10 hours or anything.  Some months he was teething and would be up a lot, some months I was dealing with growth spurts.  Sometimes he got sick and rarely slept.  Most of the time he was good.  Even at 2 1/2 he still wakes up once a night but it's rare.  You have to go by them and you will get sleep soon, even though it doesn't feel like it now...lol.