Is anyone allowing infant to sleep in bed with you??
I have found that Quinn loves to sleep with me in bed. It is very nice and easy to nurse her that way as well. I do not have a co-sleeper as I had never given it thought prior to buying her large bassinet for our room. I do not allow her to sleep in the main bed with DH and I as he sleeps way too deep and would roll on her I am afraid. So we have taken over the guest room bed. Is anyone else doing this and my question is will this cause too much dependency by her in the long run that she has to have Mommy close to her to be able to sleep at all or is it ok since she is so young and nursing.
my best advice for that is to not sleep with your child that long. i did it for a year and it was so hard on my daughter to sleep alone she is now four and it took me about a six months to get her to sleep alone. it mess's with you relationship like as well always having a child sleep with you its your choice. i do agree on how its easier to nurse but kids do need to sleep on thier own to be independant.
My friend is bringing her co-sleeper over this week to see if it works on my bed (http://www.babybunk.com/), but I did have ds in our bed when he was a baby (he's now 10). We have a king sized bed and dh rolling on him wasn't a concern and I was hyper-aware of him while sleeping. It worked out well for us.
Ds was a very restless baby (woke up crying a lot) and he was a restless toddler, too. While I never let him cry it out (and won't let this one either), we never had a family bed and I never slept away from dh. I did allow ds to have a "cozy spot" (his crib mattress with sheets, blanket, and pillow) on the floor next to my side of the bed where he could sleep if he was afraid (he mostly used it if he woke up in the night--the rule was that he could come into our room and sleep in his cozy spot if he woke up scared, but he could not wake either of us--if he did, we'd take him back to bed). That worked out fine--kept him feeling secure, kept dh and I together, and we all got much more sleep than when I would get up and go to him when he cried in the night.
I firmly believe that making sure they feel secure when they are young and really do need you, and need to know you are there, will help to prevent problems when they're older and it certainly was the case with us. As soon as he was totally confident knowing that he always had access to me or dh, he was fine on his own.
I still sleep with ds at night (hubby is on 3rd shift). It is comforting for him, he wakes up less and when I was nursing it made it so easy. Even when DH is off, we either sleep in the bed together (all three), or we sleep in my 4 year old's bed with him (he has a queen size for this very reason...lol). Anyway, I did it will all my kids and probably will continue. Never had much of a problem getting them in their own bed when ready. So....if you are comfortable and it isn't causing troubles with you and the hubby, go for it! Both of you will enjoy the extra closeness.
busymom92960206 wrote: "So....if you are comfortable and it isn't causing troubles with you and the hubby, go for it!"
I totally agree with this. I think the most important thing about doing this is being confident and totally comfortable with your decision. If you are conflicted about it for any reason (dh not being on board, worrying about making the baby dependent, worried about getting her to sleep on her own, etc.), then she'll pick up on it and you'll be defeating the purpose. I believe that being uncertain and going back and forth in itself will cause problems. JMHO, mind you. :)
Thanks for the input gals. I do not plan to allow myself to sleep with her once she is waking up less frequently to nurse. I figure in a few more weeks hopefully I can at least get her to sleep for 4 hours or so then I will return to bed with DH. It is just that right now with the frequent nursing I was getting no sleep and with me sleeping with her I can get about 3 hours at a time and when she is hungry boob goes right into mouth. Also her nursery is upstairs and our master suite is downstairs so it was a pain in the a** to wake myself up that much to do the stairs and I think Quinn sensed my frustration.
My dr always has recomended for the baby to sleep with me, for comfort as well as support. I slept with all three of my children, the last one though I only slept with for 6 weeks and she ended up being the best sleeper out of all of my children. This one I plan on tyring the same thing, so he does not get to attached to sleeping with me.
I slept with DS in the big bed while my DH camped on the couch with DD in the bassinet next to him (we couldn't get them on the same schedule...) and my son really loved sleeping on my belly. We did this until about 3.5m when DD slept through the night and DS only woke up shortly for a bottle. If breastfeeding had gone better it might have lasted longer. This time DS sleeps in his bed in our room (he's 5m adjusted and we should move him to the kids room, I know). He was always in his own bed because my best friends son died of SIDS and I am too scared without using the angelcare monitor...
I sleep with my DD in our king size bed. I am nursing her and find it the only way I can get a decent night's sleep since I can just place the boob in there and go back to sleep. LOL
I've read a lot of things that say co-sleeping is great provided the parents are sober. The baby hears the mother's breathing and imitates it, therefore causing less apnea which they say is a cause of SIDS. Babies CRAAVE closeness and that is a wonderful way to bond and it really shows them that you're always there in those first few months.
My DD is almost 5 months now so I know I have to switch soon and I will miss her. I'm sure it's going to be hard going for a while getting her in her own space but eventually ti will work out.
As long as you and your partner know the baby is there and BOTH agree on the child sleeping with you, i say go for it.
My DD slept in bed with us until she was about 6 weeks old, before that she hated her bed and would wake up every hour to hour in a half (if we were lucky) or she would wake up as soon as we would put her in her bed, I guess she needed the comfort of knowing I was there, and it made it so much easier for the breastfeeding (we tried to keep her out of our bed the first 2 weeks but I was too tired after that).
Then I bought a miracle blanket to swaddle her and she had no problem sleeping in her bed from then on and even slept for 4 hours strech from then on, a week later she was sleeping through the night.
If you don't swaddle, I highly recommend that blanket: www.miracleblanket.com
I know a few people who coslept with their kids for a long time and it was so hard to get the kids out of their bed, and now the kids wake up a few times at night
Watch the Babywise information. Google the author of that book, Gary Ezzo. He is at the heart of a huge controversy due to his methods and has been linked to Failure to Thrive cases due to his rigid scheduling demands. Your baby is much, much too young to place on a schedule.
For the love of Pete, if you want to co-sleep and feel you can do so safely, try it. They have a few products out there to help improve the safety of it. co-sleepers and something called a cuddle nest or something like that. There are instances where co-sleeping is not advised and things to do to make it safer. No drinking, no medications that could make you drowsy, overweight women are advised against it, no fluffy blankets or pillows, use only a firm mattress, do not overdress the baby, etc.
I, personally, sleep alone with our baby in our bed. My dh gladly sleeps elsewhere during the year or so I co-sleep to avoid having to get up at night. Again, I have done this with all of my kids. It works well for us, we have had NO issues with transitioning them to their own beds, my older boys sleep just fine in their own beds. I am a much better rested mom and my babies all thrived.
Everyone has an opinion on this and everyone feels they are right. Do what feels right for you and Quinn. In most of the cases of smothering, the adult involved was intoxicated. One simple way to avoid that is to remain sober while co-sleeping, something you should do anyway if you are nursing and caring for a baby.
its tough i know but apart of the reasons the other posters made... My son died of natural course's in june 06.
It would have been called sids but he co-slept in the bed with my dh(the law applies it cant be called sids as he did not die alone..ie cot) it was the first time ever that he had slept with 1 of us as we felt he would be safe as he was a strong and able baby. He was 10 months old and could climb stand ect. My husband did not roll on him and there was no sign of over heating or suffercation, although we could never be 100% sure?
I have met so many people since who have acidently smothered there babies, whilst sleeping with there babys.
I would never risk this ever!!! , bear in mind my sons age but alittle baby would have no chance.
my daughter is two now and it is hard to even try to get her to sleep on her own she is sooooo used to feeling me while she goes to sleep...she needs to feel somebody...it is very hard to have her sleep on her own,,good luck
For goodness sake, just spend the $100 and get the co-sleeper. Maybe because I am an older mom and took me so long to conceive, I would jump out of a window if I accidentally suffocated my child. It just isn't worth the risk.. I have a Graco crib my DD is sleeping right next to me in it. Sometimes I am soo tired and want her to snuggle next to me in the bed but I always put her back in her own bed. I do plan to sleep next to her while she is in her crib for a while longer until she settles down a bit more at night.
Harley, if it makes you feel any better, I am in the same boat. Since the day we brought Veronika home (Dec. 28) she has been sleeping with me in our master bedroom. My DH sleeps in the guest bedroom that way he gets plenty of sleep to go to work and I can get some sleep during the night too. I got a book just today...baby wise...so hopefully that will give me some advise how to get her sleep in her own room once I feel she is old enough to do it! For now, it is just her and me...
girl, you do whatever makes you feel comfortable, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Our parents are the ones who disagree with this, but just stick to your guns.
My almost 3 1/2 yr old DD and 16 month old DS both slept with me as babies, and we all still sleep together. We sleep in their room on the bottom bunk together, which is a full. Hubby gets a full uninterupted night of sleep in the master bedroom.
I'm due for my 3rd in 3 1/2 months, and he'll be sleeping with me as well.
I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel so much closer to my kids this way. I love putting them to bed, and being the 1st face they see in the morning.
The only reason we chose not to do it was because I read an article regarding infants dying in bed while sleeping with adults was one of the main causes of infant deaths. It scared me too badly. We instead used a cradle and put it right beside the bedroom. This way, it felt like she was in bed with us because she was literally right beside us, but she was in the protection of her own bed, and we found that this was still a very convenient option for us. Best wishes to you!
Definately do what works out best for you and your family.
Here's our story.
I always said we would never allow our kids to sleep with us. Our DD now 10 slept thru the night from the very 1st night we were home from the hospital. No issues there.
Our DS was very demanding and I was up every hour on the hour with him. After several days I was exhausted and we talked and decided it would be best to let him sleep with me.
My husband moved to the couch because he is an extremely heavy sleeper and we didn't want to risk him rolling on the baby. We did this for about 4 wks. I was able to move him back to his crib with no problems. He still woke up several times a night, would need a bottle 1/2 way thru the night but was able to soothe himself back to sleep the rest of the time. He is 6 now and still wakes up during the night.
Just thought I'd share I have three daughters and all three of them slept w/ me and my husband until 3months. It really didnt affect our time together because you know how the first three months goes, you have no time! I know doctors and the experts usually say not to but I'm glad I did. Its bonding time I'll never get back w/ each of them and with three plus one on the way I really appriciate having that. We did have each of them sleep on their own by 3months and they did w/ the exception of our first she was an terrible sleeper. So I would do what works for you and what gets you a little sleep.
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